Not for all the peppermint tea in Arizona

Not for all the peppermint tea in Arizona

Ten Reasons to Erase Negativity and Embrace a More Positive Outlook

Ten Reasons to Erase Negativity and Embrace a More Positive Outlook

Self Help Authors Offer Discount on E-Book on Erasing Negativity

Self Help Authors Offer Discount on E-Book on Erasing Negativity

Nostalgic Choice to Save Money

Hanging clothes out to dry saves money and energy. This isn't a new concept. It was a regular routine in my childhood neighborhood.

When our family moved from Chicago to Arizona we left a few appliances behind. One item was the clothes dryer. My father promised to replace it. In the meantime mom could use the backyard clothesline. However, the dryer never materialized. Mom preferred using the clothesline.

I, on the other hand, enjoy my creature comforts. But my environmentally-conscious spouse, CB, thinks clothes dryers are energy hogs. At first, the suggestion was to take the soggiest items (towels and jeans) and find a place in the garage for them to hang out. I had shirts hanging (and dropping) from hangers, jeans lopped over the wooden kayak in the garage, and socks dripping all over the place. Finally, I had it. I told CB that if I was going to hang the  laundry, I needed a clothesline.

Before I could say, Maytag, CB installed a retractable clothesline.  Begrudgingly I used it. Then a strange thing happened. I began to enjoy it. I heard the birds chirp and caught a glimpse of fluffy clouds. As I hooked the clothes on the line I remembered how my mom taught me to hang things up so it wouldn't put clothes pin creases in the clothes. I also had a flashback when I was a young mother hanging out baby shirts, dresses and socks.

I used cloth diapers for my first daughter, Alicia. When I hung out her diapers I found it refreshing to watch the white rectangles waft in the breeze. It was soothing to pin diaper after diaper on the line and not have to worry about anything - except maybe a dust storm. Who wants dusty diapers? But that was rarely an issue. A couple of hours later it would be time to gather up the clothes. Sometimes I would put Alicia in the laundry basket and let the diapers fall around her. At times she would play peek a boo. Other times she would just toddle around in the grass while I hung out the next batch of clothes.

Now my laundry items have changed. I smile as I straighten out the sleeve of one of CB's favorite shirts. Next, I match the socks and I think about my deceased parents. It's been almost 50 years since they moved the family out west. In their minds, Arizona was the perfect place to live because their children could play outside and enjoy fresh air and sunshine all year round.  Ironically, this is true when I hang out the clothes. For a few minutes I enjoy the sun, the breeze and the satisfaction of making a greener choice. I guess mom knew what she was doing after all.

Nostalgic Choice to Save Money

Nostalgic Choice to Save Money

Are You Hijacking Your Own Happiness?

When I think about the importance of gratitude a popular refrain from Joni Mitchell’s hit, Big Yellow Taxi comes to mind.

“Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone. They paved paradise and put up a parking lot.”

The song has been covered by numerous bands throughout the years and its message is as relevant now as ever. Some consider it a protest song against corporate greed and a wake-up call to protect the environment.  I embrace that message, but I also see the song as a call to action to appreciate what we have in our lives.

With the restrictions to prevent the spread of COVID-19 many of us can’t help but resent “our new normal” that includes the loss of jobs, the cancellation of life events, public gatherings and social activities, as well as the mandatory wearing of face masks. Life as we once knew it has changed.

However, focusing on what we have lost does not improve our situation. 

There is a Buddhist story with an excerpt about a man “who spends night and day counting his neighbor’s wealth but gains not even half a coin.” 

The overall message is about the futility of looking outside of one’s self to find happiness, but I think that is a tough concept for most of us. An easier message that I think more of us can identify with is that focusing on what we don’t have leaves us feeling angry, envious and unfulfilled.

The anecdote is to have an attitude of gratitude and turn our attention to the many blessings we have in our lives.

I try to start my mornings and evening by reciting a list of what I am thankful for. This can be about the people in my life (including those who have passed away) to basic needs such as a roof over my head or enough food to eat. Even being able to wake up and see a new day is a huge benefit.

Sometimes my appreciation extends to more mundane conveniences.

I recently returned from a camping trip with my spouse, CB. It was nice to see more than the landscape outside of my immediate neighborhood. Since the pandemic my ventures have been limited to my immediate neighborhood. I haven’t even been to a grocery store since March of 2020. I was looking forward to a change in my surroundings – even if it meant boon-docking in a small, Little Guy trailer.

In spite of a t-shirt that proclaims the opposite, I’m not a happy camper. I love the outdoors, but camping is a messy business. Even the easiest tasks are work. I haul water, cook outside, relieve myself in a bucket and have limited access to a shower. When I’m in a bad mood I consider it torture with a stunning view.

There are, however, a few silver linings.

The nighttime sky with its incredible “starscape” is breathtaking. Daytime strolls present a variety of magnificent trees, plants, birds and other wildlife that help me feel more connected to nature. When I return home I have a new appreciation for even the most ordinary things. I rejoice in my first hot shower. I give my washing machine a loving pat on its enamel lid as I throw my smelly clothing into its basin. And the sound of a flushing toilet is like music to my ears.

I can take a sigh of relief. I am home again.

Truth be told, we ALL have a lot to be thankful for. I have found (through trial and error and a lot of research) that transforming an attitude from grouchy to appreciative is a matter of focus. The trick is to make a concerted, ongoing effort away from the things that we find upsetting to those that bring us joy.

If you don’t think you have anything to be grateful for, you might need to expand your world view a bit. For instance, those who are perusing this blog can be thankful to have a phone or computer to access this message. Even having the ability to read is a gift that is not enjoyed by some.

This appreciative effort extends to humankind. Even people we never meet have helped us in countless ways. They grow the food we eat and provide essential goods and services we depend on every day. It is essential we look beyond our own needs and appreciate our connections with others. To ignore this humanistic concept gives rise to a society suffocating in isolation, mistrust, hostility and apathy.

We are so much better than that.

The good news is it is not too late. The proverbial “big yellow taxi” in Joni Mitchell’s song (that can be symbolic of our negativity) can take a positive detour toward a happier, more helpful direction. We can start by appreciating things now and not wait until it’s gone.

For more direction on how to lead a happier life, please check out my book, Erase Negativity, on Amazon, or contact me at Markspr@cox.net to order an autographed copy.

What Happened to Prunes?

 I‘m a creature of habit – particularly at breakfast. Unlike lunch and dinner where I don’t want to eat the same thing two days in a row, I’m more than happy to eat the same thing for breakfast EVERY DAY. 

But one day things changed. My younger sister, Tina, was over when I was eating my breakfast. She laughed at my prunes. She wasn’t the first person to make fun of the wrinkled fruit. My daughter, Brittany, thought it was quite funny that prunes resembled the desired after-effect that eating the fruit was supposed to evoke. I could take the gentle ribbing from my child, but my sister’s laughter at the prunes (and the connotation that it was something “old” people ate) was too much for me. 

I stopped eating prunes. 

I recently had an appendectomy. Although my surgeon didn’t know why my appendix became inflamed, or why it would happen to someone with a healthy diet, I decided to take steps to keep things “moving”.

I made a commitment to drink more water, exercise more often, and eat prunes again. 

The problem is I couldn’t find prunes in the store. I looked and looked and looked. However, my observant and more detailed-oriented spouse, CB, found the bagged fruit and plopped them in our Costco cart. I looked at the bag. It was labeled “sun sweet plums”.

All those years I was basing my search on the name “prunes” and bags of “plums” did not compute.  

Now, I’m not stupid. I know prunes are dried plums. As a public relations and marketing professional I can understand the name change. Prunes have a bad image. The word “prune” can mean “to make a facial expression exhibiting ill temper or disgust.”  People refer to old people, or other old things, as shriveled up old prunes. Plus people eat prunes when they are constipated. That is funny too (unless it happens to you and then it is a painfully unpleasant experience). 

Plums, on the other hand, have a good reputation. People use the expression “plum” for referring to  something of a superior or desireable kind, such as a financial bonus or "plum" position. Let’s not forget the nursery rhyme about little Jack Horner.

Little Jack Horner
Sat in the corner,
Eating a Christmas pie;
He put in his thumb,
And pulled out a plum,
And said 'What a good boy am I!'[1]

Now the poem is supposedly a satire with political overtones, but when I recited that nursery rhyme as a tot, no one explained that to me. All I knew is Jack stuck his grimy thumb in a pie, snagged a plum, and thought he pulled off some sort of heroic feat. Centuries later it left another subliminal message.  Plums are good. Prunes are bad. 

However, I must concede, prunes are funny. I remember back in 1967 I was watching television with my little brother, Terry. A commercial about prunes came on the air. It made us both laugh. It’s worth watching.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRDLaSG6csA

But it also made me think. This ad was not only humorous; it was a great marketing campaign. Even as a grade-school-er, I was inspired by it. I thought that if my desire to be a sitcom writer didn’t pan out, I could make my way in society by making fun of fruit and vegetables. Who knew it would turn into a career in public relations and marketing? 

But the story of the prunes took an unexpected turn for me. Rather than having food engineers get rid of the “wrinkles” as they promised in that funny commercial, the marketing folks decided to just change the name.  Shakespeare may have had Juliet say, "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." And that may be true. But when you change a bag of prunes to a bag of plums, you might confuse a few folks who are looking for prunes to repair their internal plumbing.

Not one to hold a grudge about the name change, I have decided to poke fun of things with a poem of my own.

My gut was full,

intestines stuck.

I looked for prunes

but no such luck.

The name had changed from prune to plum.

I saw it not, gee I feel dumb.

A lesson learned, I do implore,

“read the labels at the store”.

Both prunes and plums will help you go.

But if not careful you may not know

that a rose by another name might smell as sweet

Or be ignored and spell defeat.

---

[1] Opie and P. Opie, The Oxford Dictionary of Nursery Rhymes (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1951, 2nd edn., 1997), pp. 234–7.