This is one of my reader's favorite blog posts from the past. I hope you enjoy it.
I recently reconnected with an old friend of mine from high school. Sandy was the most talented cartoonist I ever met. We have made plans to break bread and crack jokes. I’m definitely looking forward to catching up with her. However, in our emails she referred to me as “the crazy Sally Marks.”
In the past when I went to my high school reunions, a few folks described me in a similar fashion - crazy. Some stories I remember with embarrassment. Other tales I don’t remember at all, but the essence of the plot seems like something I would’ve done. I want to keep the blog g-rated, so I will not go into my misspent youth, but I can tell you that as I retell these stories to my friends, we double over in laughter.
So, I ask myself, what happened to that crazy girl? Why am I sitting in front of my computer on New Year’s Eve trying to come up with something to write on my blog instead of painting the town?
For starters, if I write I won’t fall asleep before midnight. I’m looking forward to 2013 and I want to usher it in with a smile and a cheer. It hasn’t been an easy year for nearly everyone I know. People have lost jobs and homes. Good friends of mine lost their son. Another dear friend just lost her husband.
However, a new year awaits. As a Buddhist, I know (at least theoretically) that all things are transient. We cannot count on external things to bring us happiness. This includes money, power, lovers, children, success or status. All of those things can disappear in an instant. And this year, I, as well as others, experienced the loss of some of these cherished things firsthand.
However, there is one thing I am taking with me to the new decade. Hope. Hope for a better tomorrow, as well as the determination to do my part to bring a little light to the world. For a lot of my life I tried to shed a little happiness through humor. I did a few wild and silly things, told countless jokes and stories and wrote comedic scripts.
A few things have changed.
Frankly, I’m not as funny as I used to be. I tell people “I’m funny on paper, but I’m not that humorous in person.” When I go to a party I’d rather engage someone in an earnest dialogue than stand on a table with a lampshade on my head. When I look in the mirror I’m still astounded that the image reflected back to me is not a skinny, goofy and animated, young woman, but a middle-aged grandma who needs to exercise, pay more attention to what she eats, and needs a cup of coffee and a shot of liquid vitamins to kick into second gear. I am not the same crazy Sally Marks I once was.
And that’s okay.
As much as we might want things to stay the same, our lives, our country and our universe are constantly changing. It does no good to pine away about things in the past. We can cherish good memories and show appreciation for our blessings. But we cannot be assured that those blessings will always be with us. However, we can keep the light of hope in our hearts and constantly challenge ourselves to work toward a better future. As I write this I am one hour away from a new year, a new decade and new hope for tomorrow.
I’m not partying this New Year’s Eve. My spouse is working and I am home alone. But, I am doing exactly what I want to do, writing something that I hope will inspire someone. Maybe that sounds crazy. Hmmm. I guess I haven’t changed as much as I thought. I may be older, fatter, and hopefully wiser, but deep down, and in my own special way, I’m still that “crazy Sally Marks.”
Have a happy, healthy, prosperous and loving New Year.
Sally
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Deck the Halls with Kindness
We recently moved back to Arizona after spending nearly a year in Port Angeles, WA. On the trip back we snuck in front of a snow storm and skated through Los Angeles before a small earth quake hit. I always say a few extra prayers whenever I travel. I also concentrate on positive thoughts as much as possible and try to envision a protective shield of white light around the vehicle we are driving.
Sometimes it can be challenging to focus on positive events, especially when on the road. When folks are enclosed in the anonymity of their own cars and trucks, it seems it is easier to leave their brain and courtesy on their doorstep.
While it may SEEM true that crazy drivers outnumber their safe and courteous counterparts, it is merely an illusion. The problem is we are geared to dwell on the negative and ignore the happy and uneventful. We curse the driver who cuts us off, but quickly forget the kind folks who wave us into their lane ahead of them or slow down or change lanes to allow us to merge onto the freeway.
Years ago I remember a coworker, Don Powell, gave me his insights into merging safely on the road. He said when he was barreling down the street, if a driver turned on their turn signal and made eye contact in a tacit request to enter his lane, he always waved them on. If they tried to force their way in, he was not as kind.
I have found the same thing is true in life. When we show courtesy and kindness, we increase the chances someone will do the same for us and others. I like to do this in the grocery store. If I’m standing in line and I see someone with only a couple of items, I always allow them to go ahead of me. I do the same thing when someone has a cranky baby or toddler. That is a courtesy to everyone within sight, hearing or scent of the unhappy tot.
Recently we attended a pre-holiday Christmas event. CB’s family does a white elephant Christmas exchange. While one or two items are decent gifts, most are silly things such as a screaming monkey, a whoopee cushion or a beat-up hat that comes back year after year with added decorations that depict the former owner’s interests or vocation.
CB’s sister, Lisa, hosts this annual event. Most of the siblings are grandparents now. This year I asked if I could bring my two granddaughters, Rosannah (Zanna) now age 5 and Briannah (Bree) age 3. This is how they looked a couple years ago.
This year they would be joining our great nieces and nephews that include: Xander, age 1, Hunter, 3, Meeka, 6, Zeke, 7, Annabelle, 9 and Kylie, 10.
Both Zanna and Bree remembered Hunter from an earlier gathering (he’s the little boy who not only OWNS a lot of toy cars, he SHARES them as well.) However, Meeka, who lives out of town, seemed a little nervous by this gathering of noisy relatives. I whispered to Zanna to try to make friends with her step cousin.
My affable granddaughter quickly complied with my request. Meeka seemed a bit apprehensive at first, but then told Rosannah and Briannah they could sit next to her if they wanted to do so. Before you know it they were fast friends.
We can learn a lot about this little interaction. Folks may seem unkind, but really they might be too shy or nervous to make the first overture toward a friendly encounter. While it is always a possibility that a kind gesture could be scorned, more often than not, it will be met with relief and gratitude.
The holiday season is a perfect time to initiate kindness. Also, I hope you can take a moment to sing some of your favorite Christmas carols. I like this one because even if you forget the lyrics, you can belt out the two sounds “fa” and “la” and sing with the best of them. To make things easier, here are the lyrics to the old Welch tune, Deck the Halls.
Deck the halls with boughs of holly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Tis the season to be jolly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Don we now our gay apparel,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Troll the ancient Yule tide carol,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
See the blazing Yule before us,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Strike the harp and join the chorus.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Follow me in merry measure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
While I tell of Yule tide treasure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Fast away the old year passes,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Hail the new, ye lads and lasses,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Sing we joyous, all together,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Heedless of the wind and weather,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Sometimes it can be challenging to focus on positive events, especially when on the road. When folks are enclosed in the anonymity of their own cars and trucks, it seems it is easier to leave their brain and courtesy on their doorstep.
While it may SEEM true that crazy drivers outnumber their safe and courteous counterparts, it is merely an illusion. The problem is we are geared to dwell on the negative and ignore the happy and uneventful. We curse the driver who cuts us off, but quickly forget the kind folks who wave us into their lane ahead of them or slow down or change lanes to allow us to merge onto the freeway.
Years ago I remember a coworker, Don Powell, gave me his insights into merging safely on the road. He said when he was barreling down the street, if a driver turned on their turn signal and made eye contact in a tacit request to enter his lane, he always waved them on. If they tried to force their way in, he was not as kind.
I have found the same thing is true in life. When we show courtesy and kindness, we increase the chances someone will do the same for us and others. I like to do this in the grocery store. If I’m standing in line and I see someone with only a couple of items, I always allow them to go ahead of me. I do the same thing when someone has a cranky baby or toddler. That is a courtesy to everyone within sight, hearing or scent of the unhappy tot.
Recently we attended a pre-holiday Christmas event. CB’s family does a white elephant Christmas exchange. While one or two items are decent gifts, most are silly things such as a screaming monkey, a whoopee cushion or a beat-up hat that comes back year after year with added decorations that depict the former owner’s interests or vocation.
CB’s sister, Lisa, hosts this annual event. Most of the siblings are grandparents now. This year I asked if I could bring my two granddaughters, Rosannah (Zanna) now age 5 and Briannah (Bree) age 3. This is how they looked a couple years ago.
This year they would be joining our great nieces and nephews that include: Xander, age 1, Hunter, 3, Meeka, 6, Zeke, 7, Annabelle, 9 and Kylie, 10.
Both Zanna and Bree remembered Hunter from an earlier gathering (he’s the little boy who not only OWNS a lot of toy cars, he SHARES them as well.) However, Meeka, who lives out of town, seemed a little nervous by this gathering of noisy relatives. I whispered to Zanna to try to make friends with her step cousin.
My affable granddaughter quickly complied with my request. Meeka seemed a bit apprehensive at first, but then told Rosannah and Briannah they could sit next to her if they wanted to do so. Before you know it they were fast friends.
We can learn a lot about this little interaction. Folks may seem unkind, but really they might be too shy or nervous to make the first overture toward a friendly encounter. While it is always a possibility that a kind gesture could be scorned, more often than not, it will be met with relief and gratitude.
The holiday season is a perfect time to initiate kindness. Also, I hope you can take a moment to sing some of your favorite Christmas carols. I like this one because even if you forget the lyrics, you can belt out the two sounds “fa” and “la” and sing with the best of them. To make things easier, here are the lyrics to the old Welch tune, Deck the Halls.
Deck the halls with boughs of holly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Tis the season to be jolly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Don we now our gay apparel,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Troll the ancient Yule tide carol,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
See the blazing Yule before us,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Strike the harp and join the chorus.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Follow me in merry measure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
While I tell of Yule tide treasure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Fast away the old year passes,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Hail the new, ye lads and lasses,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Sing we joyous, all together,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Heedless of the wind and weather,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Thoughts for Tots
The holidays are approaching and many of us are trying to come up with gift ideas for our children, grandkids, nieces or nephews. While toys and cute outfits are always fun, I think one of the most valuable gifts someone can offer a tot is a Montessori education.
The following is an article I wrote for the Toddler Programs in Mesa, AZ. Even if you do not a toddler in your life, feel free to forward the info on to someone who could benefit from this story.
TODDLER PROGRAMS FOSTER LOVE OF LEARNING
Forget about Chicago, the biggest toddlin’ town around is Montessori International School’s Toddler House, 2447 Fairbrook Road and the Toddler Community at 2401 E. Brown Road, both in Mesa,AZ.
Tots from 12 months to three years of age play with puzzles, don plastic coats and paint, sit in a circle and sing, learn Spanish, and interact happily with one another. A visit to either school denotes a surprisingly calm environment. While the occasional unhappy camper may surface, for the most part the school is free of the sound of whining and the smell of disinfectant that permeates the typical preschool classroom. Instead the atmosphere exudes a friendly ease as little ones engage in activities that serve the dual role of combining purpose and pleasure.
It is clear the current Toddler House and Toddler Community students enjoy their day and move with a sense of enjoyable resolve uncharacteristic of most one-year-old boys and girls. The difference is by design and is an integral part of the Montessori philosophy to foster a child’s love of learning.
Simple tasks are divided into life skills “jobs” such as polishing objects or rolling up mats and putting them in their proper place after use. The seemingly simple duties help the tots develop motor skills, as well as self confidence by successfully demonstrating an ability they have seen performed by others at home.
At lunch and snack time, tikes retrieve their own placemat and dishes and set their own spot at the table. Learning manners and showing consideration for others is also an essential part of each day, along with self care such as dressing, brushing their teeth, wiping their faces after eating and of course toilet training.
Infants as young as three months can join the Toddler House. However, current openings are limited to little ones 12 months and older. Parents interested in learning more about enrollment guidelines and openings can call 480-890-1580.
Most of the boys and girls join the Montessori toddler community after they begin to walk with confidence (approximately 16 months.) The youngsters embark on activities where basic motor coordination, independence and language development are fostered and individual personality is respected.
Both toddler programs follow the philosophy and tools developed by Maria Montessori (1870-1952) an Italian physician, educator and humanitarian, whose curriculum emphasizes independence, freedom within limits, and respect for a child’s natural psychological development. Rather than a classroom, the toddler programs offer a nurturing social community where very young children experience their first contact with other children and learn to participate in a cooperative group.
“By teaching toddlers how to take care of themselves and their immediate environment they develop a respect for all things, as well as building their own self confidence,” said Teryn Miller, an AMI certified teacher at the school whose advanced training focuses on teaching infants to three-year-old. “Many parents are unaware of what their children are capable of. However, when toddlers are engaged in structured activities that best allows for their mental, physical and psychological growth, they thrive. Learning becomes a joy and respect becomes a way of life.”
Both toddler programs are equipped with a small child in mind. Tables, chairs, cabinets and even the toilets are scaled to fit a little one’s needs and height. Children are allowed to pursue their interests, but must finish a task before pursuing another. Exploration and creativity is encouraged, but each child is taught the importance of listening, following rules and acting in a respectful manner.
The student/teacher ratio is one of the best in the state – one teacher to every four children. In addition to the Toddler House and the Toddler Community, M.I.S. has a primary school for children three to six years of age at 1230 N. Gilbert Road in Mesa and separate primary and elementary school programs at 2401 E. Brown Road in Mesa.
For more information visit http://montessori-intl.org/about-montessori.html or call 480-890-1580.
The following is an article I wrote for the Toddler Programs in Mesa, AZ. Even if you do not a toddler in your life, feel free to forward the info on to someone who could benefit from this story.
TODDLER PROGRAMS FOSTER LOVE OF LEARNING
Forget about Chicago, the biggest toddlin’ town around is Montessori International School’s Toddler House, 2447 Fairbrook Road and the Toddler Community at 2401 E. Brown Road, both in Mesa,AZ.
Tots from 12 months to three years of age play with puzzles, don plastic coats and paint, sit in a circle and sing, learn Spanish, and interact happily with one another. A visit to either school denotes a surprisingly calm environment. While the occasional unhappy camper may surface, for the most part the school is free of the sound of whining and the smell of disinfectant that permeates the typical preschool classroom. Instead the atmosphere exudes a friendly ease as little ones engage in activities that serve the dual role of combining purpose and pleasure.
It is clear the current Toddler House and Toddler Community students enjoy their day and move with a sense of enjoyable resolve uncharacteristic of most one-year-old boys and girls. The difference is by design and is an integral part of the Montessori philosophy to foster a child’s love of learning.
Simple tasks are divided into life skills “jobs” such as polishing objects or rolling up mats and putting them in their proper place after use. The seemingly simple duties help the tots develop motor skills, as well as self confidence by successfully demonstrating an ability they have seen performed by others at home.
At lunch and snack time, tikes retrieve their own placemat and dishes and set their own spot at the table. Learning manners and showing consideration for others is also an essential part of each day, along with self care such as dressing, brushing their teeth, wiping their faces after eating and of course toilet training.
Infants as young as three months can join the Toddler House. However, current openings are limited to little ones 12 months and older. Parents interested in learning more about enrollment guidelines and openings can call 480-890-1580.
Most of the boys and girls join the Montessori toddler community after they begin to walk with confidence (approximately 16 months.) The youngsters embark on activities where basic motor coordination, independence and language development are fostered and individual personality is respected.
Both toddler programs follow the philosophy and tools developed by Maria Montessori (1870-1952) an Italian physician, educator and humanitarian, whose curriculum emphasizes independence, freedom within limits, and respect for a child’s natural psychological development. Rather than a classroom, the toddler programs offer a nurturing social community where very young children experience their first contact with other children and learn to participate in a cooperative group.
“By teaching toddlers how to take care of themselves and their immediate environment they develop a respect for all things, as well as building their own self confidence,” said Teryn Miller, an AMI certified teacher at the school whose advanced training focuses on teaching infants to three-year-old. “Many parents are unaware of what their children are capable of. However, when toddlers are engaged in structured activities that best allows for their mental, physical and psychological growth, they thrive. Learning becomes a joy and respect becomes a way of life.”
Both toddler programs are equipped with a small child in mind. Tables, chairs, cabinets and even the toilets are scaled to fit a little one’s needs and height. Children are allowed to pursue their interests, but must finish a task before pursuing another. Exploration and creativity is encouraged, but each child is taught the importance of listening, following rules and acting in a respectful manner.
The student/teacher ratio is one of the best in the state – one teacher to every four children. In addition to the Toddler House and the Toddler Community, M.I.S. has a primary school for children three to six years of age at 1230 N. Gilbert Road in Mesa and separate primary and elementary school programs at 2401 E. Brown Road in Mesa.
For more information visit http://montessori-intl.org/about-montessori.html or call 480-890-1580.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Enjoying Christmas "Presence"
One of the most challenging experiences I have in my daily life is to stay focused on the present moment. It is so easy for my mind to skip forward to the future or lapse into stale memories. Although I’d like to think I’m older and wiser, I have found children are much better at enjoying (or being grumpy about) what is happening right now. If you don’t believe me, try convincing an infant to wait two hours to be fed
or a three-year old with a full bladder he or she can wait until you get home to pee.
However, the one occasion where children DO put their minds into the future is Christmas time. Who doesn’t remember being a kid and anxiously counting the days until the holidays? Unfortunately, as I have aged, and in spite of every retailer putting up holiday decorations on display in September, the holidays have a way of sneaking up on me. Last year I didn’t trim the tree until Dec. 20th!
Fortunately, I learned from my mistake. This year, I decided to put up my Christmas tree up before I polished off my Thanksgiving leftovers.
My Tannebaum is a straggly old, plastic thing but I love it. After my divorce I got rid of a lot of things I didn’t want to move. My old tree went to Goodwill. For a few years I did not put up a Chanukah bush. Between limited finances and lack of holiday cheer, I could not face the idea of putting up a tree by myself. My marriage was over, I lost my job and my future prospects were looking pretty shabby. My oldest daughter, Alicia was newly married, so I went through the ornaments and gave her many of her hand-made decorations, as well as colorful balls that said things like Baby’s First Christmas 1980.
I eventually remarried, but my new spouse, CB, did not want a tree in the house. I put out a bowl of ornaments and placed a couple of holiday items in the music room. I complied with the request to go treeless for a year or two, but finally decided that enough was enough. This Boo Jew (a semi-kosher gal who converted to Buddhism in the 1980s) decided to take a stand and buy a tree to put it on. I decorated the tree alone. Eventually I convinced CB to place one ornament, a trumpet, on the tree.
However, as soon as my first grandchild was born (five years ago) I made sure I would have company when I celebrated the holidays. Little Rosannah was only a few weeks old for her first tree-decorating experience. I spread out a blanket and put her on it as I engaged in my tree trimming festivities. She seemed to enjoy the colorful lights and didn’t cry when I sang holiday tunes.
The next year Rosannah was a little more active and I had to work hard to keep her from eating the ornaments. But, with her company (although not her help) I got the job done. The following year a new granddaughter was a part of the mix. Putting the tree up and watching them was a real challenge, but I got it done.
This year Rosannah and Briannah are 5 and 3 years old. Rosannah helped put the tree stand together and placed the branches into their slots. Briannah was mostly focused on one ornament that she kept trying to hang before the tree was ready. However, both girls enjoyed looking at a lifetime’s worth of memories disguised as wooden reindeers, Santa Clauses and stockings.
After Briannah hung up her favorite ornament she became obsessed with the candy canes. I can’t even tell you what decade it was when we got those sugary sticks. However, I DO remember my youngest daughter, Brittany, was in junior high and was supposed to sell the red and white stripped peppermints to earn money for her school orchestra. Unfortunately, our dog, Rusty, ate a box and licked a bunch of other ones. The candy canes have been part of our holiday decorations ever since that incident.
After an hour or so the tree was up, the lights strung and my two granddaughter had placed numerous decorations on the tree. Unlike when I was growing up, I didn’t enforce any decorating rules. In my youth we weren’t supposed to put two of the same color balls next to each other, and, when possible, we tried to color coordinate the hue of the ball with the nearest light. Green ornament next to the green light, red ball by the red light etc. Candy canes were distributed evenly. Briannah decided they should all be placed together in a sort of candy cane family clump. Needless to say, all the decoration were on the bottom half of the tree.
Years ago, that decorating scheme would have bothered my sensibilities, but now I enjoy seeing their handiwork. I also admire how they appreciated each item. They didn’t reminisce about holidays past, they were perfectly happy to take part in the present activity.
It made me pause and think of how much I can learn from my grandchildren. I have an advantage of age and experience, but they are experts at living in the moment. And it’s truly a gift to have these adorable girls in my life.
To all of you reading this story, I hope you have a great holiday. My wish for you is to be kind to yourself and others, release past hurts and embrace the season as if you were a child again. Happy Holidays!
or a three-year old with a full bladder he or she can wait until you get home to pee.
However, the one occasion where children DO put their minds into the future is Christmas time. Who doesn’t remember being a kid and anxiously counting the days until the holidays? Unfortunately, as I have aged, and in spite of every retailer putting up holiday decorations on display in September, the holidays have a way of sneaking up on me. Last year I didn’t trim the tree until Dec. 20th!
Fortunately, I learned from my mistake. This year, I decided to put up my Christmas tree up before I polished off my Thanksgiving leftovers.
My Tannebaum is a straggly old, plastic thing but I love it. After my divorce I got rid of a lot of things I didn’t want to move. My old tree went to Goodwill. For a few years I did not put up a Chanukah bush. Between limited finances and lack of holiday cheer, I could not face the idea of putting up a tree by myself. My marriage was over, I lost my job and my future prospects were looking pretty shabby. My oldest daughter, Alicia was newly married, so I went through the ornaments and gave her many of her hand-made decorations, as well as colorful balls that said things like Baby’s First Christmas 1980.
I eventually remarried, but my new spouse, CB, did not want a tree in the house. I put out a bowl of ornaments and placed a couple of holiday items in the music room. I complied with the request to go treeless for a year or two, but finally decided that enough was enough. This Boo Jew (a semi-kosher gal who converted to Buddhism in the 1980s) decided to take a stand and buy a tree to put it on. I decorated the tree alone. Eventually I convinced CB to place one ornament, a trumpet, on the tree.
However, as soon as my first grandchild was born (five years ago) I made sure I would have company when I celebrated the holidays. Little Rosannah was only a few weeks old for her first tree-decorating experience. I spread out a blanket and put her on it as I engaged in my tree trimming festivities. She seemed to enjoy the colorful lights and didn’t cry when I sang holiday tunes.
The next year Rosannah was a little more active and I had to work hard to keep her from eating the ornaments. But, with her company (although not her help) I got the job done. The following year a new granddaughter was a part of the mix. Putting the tree up and watching them was a real challenge, but I got it done.
This year Rosannah and Briannah are 5 and 3 years old. Rosannah helped put the tree stand together and placed the branches into their slots. Briannah was mostly focused on one ornament that she kept trying to hang before the tree was ready. However, both girls enjoyed looking at a lifetime’s worth of memories disguised as wooden reindeers, Santa Clauses and stockings.
After Briannah hung up her favorite ornament she became obsessed with the candy canes. I can’t even tell you what decade it was when we got those sugary sticks. However, I DO remember my youngest daughter, Brittany, was in junior high and was supposed to sell the red and white stripped peppermints to earn money for her school orchestra. Unfortunately, our dog, Rusty, ate a box and licked a bunch of other ones. The candy canes have been part of our holiday decorations ever since that incident.
After an hour or so the tree was up, the lights strung and my two granddaughter had placed numerous decorations on the tree. Unlike when I was growing up, I didn’t enforce any decorating rules. In my youth we weren’t supposed to put two of the same color balls next to each other, and, when possible, we tried to color coordinate the hue of the ball with the nearest light. Green ornament next to the green light, red ball by the red light etc. Candy canes were distributed evenly. Briannah decided they should all be placed together in a sort of candy cane family clump. Needless to say, all the decoration were on the bottom half of the tree.
Years ago, that decorating scheme would have bothered my sensibilities, but now I enjoy seeing their handiwork. I also admire how they appreciated each item. They didn’t reminisce about holidays past, they were perfectly happy to take part in the present activity.
It made me pause and think of how much I can learn from my grandchildren. I have an advantage of age and experience, but they are experts at living in the moment. And it’s truly a gift to have these adorable girls in my life.
To all of you reading this story, I hope you have a great holiday. My wish for you is to be kind to yourself and others, release past hurts and embrace the season as if you were a child again. Happy Holidays!
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Fighting a Cold with Chicken Soup, Humor and Optimism
I have a cold. Optimist or not, having a cold sucks. Actually “blows” (in a bad way) would be a more appropriate description. I generally have a good immune system, but it’s been a little stressful at my house lately. Stress lowers one’s resistance to illness. One of the advantages of being an optimist is the “half-full glass” bunch suffers from fewer colds.
But, alas, optimism can only take you so far. When I wasn’t looking, some cold germs flew up my nose and took up residence there. Since Thanksgiving was coming, the cold germs invited all their friends and family to live in my nasal membranes. Some have migrated to other areas and I’m trying to cough them out of my sore throat. My itchy eyes are trying to drown them in tears. They laugh and multiple in spite of doses of Echinacea, juice and ibprofen.
Through the years I have tried different home remedies to relieve cold symptoms. I think it’s ironic that after all the advances we have made in science, that we can’t find a cure for the common cold. The best we can hope for is relief from cold symptoms.
If my mom or dad were alive I would be slurping chicken soup.
For years scientists and doctors didn’t believe chicken soup had any medicinal components at all.
But, the Jewish mothers of those doctors finally won out and now there is evidence that there is some benefit to the chicken-soup-as-medicine theory. Either that or they realized it was fruitless to argue with your yiddisha mama or Bubbe.
A friend of mine suggested a hot bath with vinegar in the water. I tried this but it made me want to roll in a patch of salad greens and brush my skin with olive oil. Somehow I can see a chicken soup dinner with a salad made with vinegar and oil dressing in my future. Too bad I won’t be able to taste it.
As unfair as it may seem that we are all vulnerable to colds, it is a sad fact of life. No matter how good, kind, careful or honest we may be no one is immune from the four sufferings: birth, sickness, aging and death. By the way, the IRS says taxes are another of the mandatory sufferings too, but Buddhist scripture doesn’t address that topic. I try not to talk about the IRS either. I don’t want to piss them off. I may be an optimist, but I’m not stupid. I tell people if they have a good lawyer they may be able to get away with murder (minus the karmic retribution that is governed by a higher set of laws) but no one gets away with cheating on their taxes. Ask Al Capone.
Some pain is inevitable. However, we can reduce our negativity about the problem and reduce our suffering. That is why my co-author, Jackie, and I wrote this oft quoted phrase from the introduction of our book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within.
It is impossible to go through life without encountering difficulties. From a baby’s first cry to the last dying breath, the human experience involves a series of struggles. While encountering challenges is an inherent part of life, it is not so much the problems, but the attitude you take while facing these difficulties that shapes how you view the world.
So yes, I am suffering from a cold. I don’t like it, but I have to move on. I’m resting, drinking more fluids and experimenting with over-the-counter remedies. My friend, Michele, suggested Zicam, so I’ll blog in the future as to how that worked out.
The one bright spot in this saga is I have the opportunity to tell three of my favorite jokes and puns. Here they are:
You think it’s a booger, but it’s snot.
What’s the difference between a booger and a mushroom? A kid won’t eat a mushroom.
Last, but not least.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ach.
Ach who?
Bless you.
And bless all of YOU this holiday season. If you do get sick, be sure to rent a few funny movies, tell a few jokes and, of course, buy multiple copies of our book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. It won’t cure your cold, but you can always use it as a large coaster for a bowl of chicken soup.
But, alas, optimism can only take you so far. When I wasn’t looking, some cold germs flew up my nose and took up residence there. Since Thanksgiving was coming, the cold germs invited all their friends and family to live in my nasal membranes. Some have migrated to other areas and I’m trying to cough them out of my sore throat. My itchy eyes are trying to drown them in tears. They laugh and multiple in spite of doses of Echinacea, juice and ibprofen.
Through the years I have tried different home remedies to relieve cold symptoms. I think it’s ironic that after all the advances we have made in science, that we can’t find a cure for the common cold. The best we can hope for is relief from cold symptoms.
If my mom or dad were alive I would be slurping chicken soup.
For years scientists and doctors didn’t believe chicken soup had any medicinal components at all.
But, the Jewish mothers of those doctors finally won out and now there is evidence that there is some benefit to the chicken-soup-as-medicine theory. Either that or they realized it was fruitless to argue with your yiddisha mama or Bubbe.
A friend of mine suggested a hot bath with vinegar in the water. I tried this but it made me want to roll in a patch of salad greens and brush my skin with olive oil. Somehow I can see a chicken soup dinner with a salad made with vinegar and oil dressing in my future. Too bad I won’t be able to taste it.
As unfair as it may seem that we are all vulnerable to colds, it is a sad fact of life. No matter how good, kind, careful or honest we may be no one is immune from the four sufferings: birth, sickness, aging and death. By the way, the IRS says taxes are another of the mandatory sufferings too, but Buddhist scripture doesn’t address that topic. I try not to talk about the IRS either. I don’t want to piss them off. I may be an optimist, but I’m not stupid. I tell people if they have a good lawyer they may be able to get away with murder (minus the karmic retribution that is governed by a higher set of laws) but no one gets away with cheating on their taxes. Ask Al Capone.
Some pain is inevitable. However, we can reduce our negativity about the problem and reduce our suffering. That is why my co-author, Jackie, and I wrote this oft quoted phrase from the introduction of our book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within.
It is impossible to go through life without encountering difficulties. From a baby’s first cry to the last dying breath, the human experience involves a series of struggles. While encountering challenges is an inherent part of life, it is not so much the problems, but the attitude you take while facing these difficulties that shapes how you view the world.
So yes, I am suffering from a cold. I don’t like it, but I have to move on. I’m resting, drinking more fluids and experimenting with over-the-counter remedies. My friend, Michele, suggested Zicam, so I’ll blog in the future as to how that worked out.
The one bright spot in this saga is I have the opportunity to tell three of my favorite jokes and puns. Here they are:
You think it’s a booger, but it’s snot.
What’s the difference between a booger and a mushroom? A kid won’t eat a mushroom.
Last, but not least.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ach.
Ach who?
Bless you.
And bless all of YOU this holiday season. If you do get sick, be sure to rent a few funny movies, tell a few jokes and, of course, buy multiple copies of our book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. It won’t cure your cold, but you can always use it as a large coaster for a bowl of chicken soup.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Let's Talk Turkey About Negativity
Next week is Thanksgiving. Many of us will have the opportunity to dine with family and friends for a special once-a-year meal. Many look forward to this event with anticipation – some with dread. And I confess, in my life I have approached this holiday with both mindsets.
I have seen the confidence of the strongest, most confident men and women become mushier than a bowl of mashed potatoes at the thought of facing the snide comments, comparisons and cruelty that some of our relatives bring to the holiday table.
How ironic that a feast that is supposed to be a celebration of gratitude and harmony can churn out more negativity and drama that a soap opera marathon.
But there is hope. We cannot change other people, but we can work on our own reaction to them. I just posted a short video on you tube on three simple steps on how to erase negativity. It’s not a cure all, but it can help us reduce our own negativity, which in turn can have a ripple effect on others.
Please check out this video and share it with your friends and family. Heck, share it with your enemies too. They probably need it worst of all. You can view it at
http://youtu.be/208XAm-x3R8
As an added bonus, I have also made a 25% discount for an electronic copy of our book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within available now through Dec. 16, 2012 for only $5.24. Please go to http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/11183 and enter the code VD99G
After Dec. 16 the book will return to its normal cost of $6.99. Paperback copies of the book are available for $14.99 through Amazon, as well as stores throughout the U.S. A partial list of bookstores and retail outlets is available at EraseNegativity.com.
For those of you who are not familiar with the message in the book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within is a practical guide on how to reduce negativity and embrace happiness. From meth addicts to multi-millionaires, the book offers powerful experiences of individuals who have faced dramatic challenges, but did not lose hope. Using these compelling biographies, as well as practical advice and simple exercises, the reader is guided on an internal journey toward adopting a more joyful way to live.
We pay a heavy price for our negativity and I want to combat that with a free tool that provides a more optimistic alternative. I’m really hoping folks will spread the word and use this window of time to read the book and suggest it to others who are interested in embracing a more hopeful message.
So there you have it. No more excuses. Discounted book, free video. Kick that grouch out now. But lest I come off too brash or too self serving, I do have one last bit of advice for this holiday season. Try to take a moment and find the love in your heart and send those laser beams of love out to those family members around you – especially those who annoy you. While we might not think so now, there will come a time when they are out of our lives and we will miss them. And more importantly, we do not want to miss the opportunity to summon up a little love and shine a little light in the world.
Happy Thanksgiving.
I have seen the confidence of the strongest, most confident men and women become mushier than a bowl of mashed potatoes at the thought of facing the snide comments, comparisons and cruelty that some of our relatives bring to the holiday table.
How ironic that a feast that is supposed to be a celebration of gratitude and harmony can churn out more negativity and drama that a soap opera marathon.
But there is hope. We cannot change other people, but we can work on our own reaction to them. I just posted a short video on you tube on three simple steps on how to erase negativity. It’s not a cure all, but it can help us reduce our own negativity, which in turn can have a ripple effect on others.
Please check out this video and share it with your friends and family. Heck, share it with your enemies too. They probably need it worst of all. You can view it at
http://youtu.be/208XAm-x3R8
As an added bonus, I have also made a 25% discount for an electronic copy of our book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within available now through Dec. 16, 2012 for only $5.24. Please go to http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/11183 and enter the code VD99G
After Dec. 16 the book will return to its normal cost of $6.99. Paperback copies of the book are available for $14.99 through Amazon, as well as stores throughout the U.S. A partial list of bookstores and retail outlets is available at EraseNegativity.com.
For those of you who are not familiar with the message in the book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within is a practical guide on how to reduce negativity and embrace happiness. From meth addicts to multi-millionaires, the book offers powerful experiences of individuals who have faced dramatic challenges, but did not lose hope. Using these compelling biographies, as well as practical advice and simple exercises, the reader is guided on an internal journey toward adopting a more joyful way to live.
We pay a heavy price for our negativity and I want to combat that with a free tool that provides a more optimistic alternative. I’m really hoping folks will spread the word and use this window of time to read the book and suggest it to others who are interested in embracing a more hopeful message.
So there you have it. No more excuses. Discounted book, free video. Kick that grouch out now. But lest I come off too brash or too self serving, I do have one last bit of advice for this holiday season. Try to take a moment and find the love in your heart and send those laser beams of love out to those family members around you – especially those who annoy you. While we might not think so now, there will come a time when they are out of our lives and we will miss them. And more importantly, we do not want to miss the opportunity to summon up a little love and shine a little light in the world.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Slumbering Wisdom
Sometimes I think I’m smarter when I’m unconscious. In various religions, particularly Buddhism, the sages talk about the benefits of an “awakened state.” However I think there is a lot of wisdom in our dream-state while snoozing.
Let me explain.
I believe dreams can be a way for your subconscious to slip you a secret message. That’s why parables work better in many cultures than preachy sermons. We may have something important to learn but our ego doesn’t want to hear the message too directly. No one likes to admit what they’re doing is wrong, even if our misguided efforts are obstructing our happiness.
I’m no psychologist but I enjoy interpreting my own dreams. When my kids were little I would analyze my daughter Brittany’s nocturnal messages. In my infinite wisdom I told her all her dreams had one of two messages; to clean her room or practice her violin. It didn’t matter what her dream was, that was my assessment. Her older sister, Alicia, saw through my ruse and kept her dreams to herself.
For years I have had a dream where I’m on vacation in Hawaii (or living there) and it’s time to move away.
Suddenly I realize I have never visited my favorite beach. To make matters worse, time was running out. Sometimes time HAD run out and the movers beckoned at the door.
After years of having this dream, I think I finally know what it means. I’m not living enough in the moment and enjoying the beauty in my own backyard. It doesn’t need to be physical beauty, it can be symbolic of other wondrous components of life. I believe some dreams remind us of our goals. Other dreams expose our fears. Other dreams expose other things. Who hasn’t a dream where we are in a public place and realize part of our clothing is missing?
One of my favorite lines in a movie is from Sleepless in Seattle when Meg Ryan refers to those dreams in which the dreamer finds herself walking naked in public places and Rosie ODonnell states, “I love that dream."
But back to my analogy about missed opportunities. I adore fall colors, but my hometown in Arizona doesn’t experience the typical seasonal changes. However, I’m working temporarily in Port Angeles, Washington where autumn is in its full glory. I can look out from my dining room table and see a variety of trees and bushes burst into hues of red, orange and golden leaves.
I also enjoy the cool, crisp air and the scent of fireplaces. However, rather than venturing out, I spend a lot of my day sitting on my butt typing on the computer. Sometimes it feels like I literally have to pry myself from my sedentary position to enjoy the cool outdoors that spreads out in front of me.
Once I challenge inertia, I enjoy walks through the neighborhood. The problem is sometimes it’s hard to get started. I surf the net more than I feel the sea that blows blocks from my home office. There is a great book about flow, that feeling where you are so absorbed in the moment that time ceases to exist. We’ve all experienced flow when we are immersed in activities we love. Musicians, artists, authors, athletes all experience that moment of peak performance when you feel “in the groove.” I have often had that feeling when I’m walking. I’ve yet to feel it when I’m checking facebook.
A great quote to illustrate this point is from one of my favorite comediennes, Lucille Ball who said. “I'd rather regret the things I have done than the things that I haven't ."
I know we all have responsibilities and busy lives. I’m not advocating we toss it all aside and do everything our heart desires and throw complete caution to the wind. However, we could make a small promise to ourselves to do one fun or heart-felt action each day. One simple step would be to ask a simple question before turning in for the night.
“Was I a little better today than I was yesterday?”
The “better” in that equation can be erasing negativity, living a more purposeful life, improving relationships or simply taking the time to embrace the beauty of nature. With this nightly ritual to keep you on task, you will take positive steps to living your dreams – especially when you’re awake.
Let me explain.
I believe dreams can be a way for your subconscious to slip you a secret message. That’s why parables work better in many cultures than preachy sermons. We may have something important to learn but our ego doesn’t want to hear the message too directly. No one likes to admit what they’re doing is wrong, even if our misguided efforts are obstructing our happiness.
I’m no psychologist but I enjoy interpreting my own dreams. When my kids were little I would analyze my daughter Brittany’s nocturnal messages. In my infinite wisdom I told her all her dreams had one of two messages; to clean her room or practice her violin. It didn’t matter what her dream was, that was my assessment. Her older sister, Alicia, saw through my ruse and kept her dreams to herself.
For years I have had a dream where I’m on vacation in Hawaii (or living there) and it’s time to move away.
Suddenly I realize I have never visited my favorite beach. To make matters worse, time was running out. Sometimes time HAD run out and the movers beckoned at the door.
After years of having this dream, I think I finally know what it means. I’m not living enough in the moment and enjoying the beauty in my own backyard. It doesn’t need to be physical beauty, it can be symbolic of other wondrous components of life. I believe some dreams remind us of our goals. Other dreams expose our fears. Other dreams expose other things. Who hasn’t a dream where we are in a public place and realize part of our clothing is missing?
One of my favorite lines in a movie is from Sleepless in Seattle when Meg Ryan refers to those dreams in which the dreamer finds herself walking naked in public places and Rosie ODonnell states, “I love that dream."
But back to my analogy about missed opportunities. I adore fall colors, but my hometown in Arizona doesn’t experience the typical seasonal changes. However, I’m working temporarily in Port Angeles, Washington where autumn is in its full glory. I can look out from my dining room table and see a variety of trees and bushes burst into hues of red, orange and golden leaves.
I also enjoy the cool, crisp air and the scent of fireplaces. However, rather than venturing out, I spend a lot of my day sitting on my butt typing on the computer. Sometimes it feels like I literally have to pry myself from my sedentary position to enjoy the cool outdoors that spreads out in front of me.
Once I challenge inertia, I enjoy walks through the neighborhood. The problem is sometimes it’s hard to get started. I surf the net more than I feel the sea that blows blocks from my home office. There is a great book about flow, that feeling where you are so absorbed in the moment that time ceases to exist. We’ve all experienced flow when we are immersed in activities we love. Musicians, artists, authors, athletes all experience that moment of peak performance when you feel “in the groove.” I have often had that feeling when I’m walking. I’ve yet to feel it when I’m checking facebook.
A great quote to illustrate this point is from one of my favorite comediennes, Lucille Ball who said. “I'd rather regret the things I have done than the things that I haven't ."
I know we all have responsibilities and busy lives. I’m not advocating we toss it all aside and do everything our heart desires and throw complete caution to the wind. However, we could make a small promise to ourselves to do one fun or heart-felt action each day. One simple step would be to ask a simple question before turning in for the night.
“Was I a little better today than I was yesterday?”
The “better” in that equation can be erasing negativity, living a more purposeful life, improving relationships or simply taking the time to embrace the beauty of nature. With this nightly ritual to keep you on task, you will take positive steps to living your dreams – especially when you’re awake.
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