Metal Man Loves Tungsten Ring

My son-in-law Greg, offered this post. I hope you enjoy it.

I love metal. As a welder and blacksmith I bend, pound and shape metal to make all sorts of useful and artistic items.  Ironically (okay a little iron pun there) heavy metal is my music of choice. Pantera, Volbeat and Testament are a few of my favorite bands.

That is why when I needed a replacement for my wedding ring I chose Tungsten. More specifically I selected a polished Tungsten ring with carbon fiber inlay (itemTD066-8) at http://tungstendirect.com/8mm-polished-tungsten-with-carbon-fiber-inlay/. If you go to  www.tungstendirect.com you will see some other great choices as well.

I use my hands a lot for work and I wanted something that looked cool, but held up better than softer metals like silver, gold and platinum. Titanium is strong too, but something about that metal irritates my skin. I know a few other people whose skin reacts to titanium too, so if you are considering that metal, make sure you don’t have a problem with it before you commit to a ring you are going to wear all the time.

My Tungsten band has a sleek, aerodynamic appearance and the carbon fiber looks awesome. The inlay is smooth and doesn’t have any indentations. Another ring I owned had indentations and the ring caught on my pants every time I put my hands in my pockets. But best of all, this ring is tough. No scratches, dents or dings, in spite of the abuse I put it through every day. 

My mother-in-law, Sally, noticed a guy who works at the recreation center was wearing an interesting-looking ring.  She asked him if it was made of Tungsten.  The guy was proud to demonstrate what his jewelry was made of it. Apparently he took his ring off, rubbed it against the brick wall and showed her how it survived unscathed. This was not news to me, but my mother-in-law was impressed. When Sally told her friend, Joan about the guy’s ring, he did a repeat performance for her. Apparently Joan’s husband lost his wedding ring. Who knows, maybe a Tungsten ring might be in this guy’s future? I’m sure it would be a fraction of the cost of his original wedding band.

I think Tungsten is a great choice for jewelry in general, but wedding rings in particular. If you’re making a lifetime vow to someone you need something that can last.  If you’re a guy like me and you work with your hands, tinker on cars, and fix things around the house, it helps if you can wear something that won’t scratch, bend or dent. Some of the more expensive metals like gold, platinum and silver don’t hold up well.  You either have to baby the ring and take it off (and pray you don’t lose it) or your wedding band winds up looking like a used crankshaft.

But I’m not apologizing for my ring. Even though my wedding band didn’t cost anywhere near one that is constructed of a precious metal, it is still awesome.  The carbon fiber inlay reminds me of the hood I saw on a tricked-out racecar. In fact, NASCAR and other racecars are using more carbon fiber – and not just for lightweight-strength. It’s because it looks amazing. 

Women can talk about the sparkle of gold and diamonds, but I like a metal that is tough. And Tungsten is all that. Welders, mechanics and others who work with metal and machinery know that Tungsten is 10 times harder than gold, five times harder than tool steel and four times harder than titanium. And it holds its shape and shine. No wonder you are seeing more Tungsten in the aerospace industry, civil engineering, motorsports and military equipment. 

In my ring the carbon fiber is used as an accent against the gun-metal color. But it’s more than just a fancy design.  Carbon fiber is a workhouse of a composite. It’s a perfect complement for Tungsten’s durability. Carbon fiber is being used more and more for sports equipment like tennis racquets, golf clubs, softball bats and hockey sticks.  Having sports equipment that is super sturdy AND lightweight gives an athlete an advantage. 

Political correctness aside, this is an awesome ring for a man. That said, now my wife said she wants one too.  I can’t blame her. She welds, she works hard and buying a Tungsten ring is something a working man can afford. I think it would make a great Valentine’s Day gift.  Most of the women’s rings are only around $109. Here are a two examples: 

http://tungstendirect.com/4mm-tungsten-carbide-band-laser-engraved-with-an-infinity-design/

http://tungstendirect.com/4mm-tungsten-carbide-beveled-ring/

Most of the men’s rings are in the $100 to $199 range, but if you want something with diamonds you will pay anywhere from $500 to $1,000. It’s worth checking out 

http://tungstendirect.com/8mm-tungsten-carbide-ring-with-an-argyle-laser-design/

http://tungstendirect.com/dura-cobalt-25-ct-tw-diamond-ridged-band/

It all boils down to different strokes for different folks. Some like silver, some like gold. But like I said, I like metal. And I think my Tungsten ring with the carbon fiber inlay is a handsome choice that reflects my trade, my hobbies and my knowledge of metal.

The Taming of the Grouch

Have you ever wished you had a “refresh” button for your life? 

We acquire a fair amount of knowledge from study and personal experience, but at times it seems all it takes are a few setbacks, and poof, we revert to our old bad habits. 

It happened to me.

I was in a car accident a year ago which left me unable to do a lot of the physical activities I enjoy – including playing softball with my team, the Stingers. Nearly a year has passed. I received therapy, slowly began preparing my muscles by taking yogalates classes and now it was time to play ball again. I started off pretty good and got some solid hits, but in my enthusiasm to sprint to first base I pulled a hamstring muscle.  Part of the problem is I didn’t warm up properly. It was a knee jerk reaction – hit the ball and run. 

I have never been a powerful slugger like many of my teammates such as Mary Lou, Stella and Tracy, so part of my effectiveness as a softball player is being able to get a hit and beat out the throw to first base. The same formula is true with my fielding. I may not stop line shots like Kathy or Jo, or snag fly balls like Karen, June or Ruth, but if a ball gets past me at least I can chase it down at a respectable pace. The pulled hamstring was taking away my mobility edge.

Mary Lou and Shirley, our couch and manager, found pinch runners for me at the next game, but I batted a miserable 0 for 4. Needless to say I was not a happy camper. While in the dugout my teammates, Connie, Carla and Mo encouraged me. They reminded me that I had hit the ball solidly, it just had the misfortune of landing in our opponent’s mitts.  It happens to everyone, including our most powerful hitters. Still I was grousing and made a few negative remarks about my performance. 

Normally I am a “glass-half-full kinda gal,” so my pessimism raised a few eyebrows. My teammate, Jo, was especially surprised since she knew I not only valued an optimistic attitude, I penned a book about it (Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within.) She suggested I reread what I wrote.  Talk about a wake-up call.

That evening I pondered what Jo said. The hamstring pull was a pain, but certainly not the end of the world. What was causing me to unleash my inner grouch?

Upon reflection I realized I went into a slow, but steady downspin following my car accident the year before.  Over time, some of my positive routines disintegrated into bad habits. Instead of exercising like I would’ve liked to do, I had to be sedentary and heal. I began watching more television – including programs that were violent and depressing. This not only gave me nightmares, it affected my attitude. Slowly, but surely, I was giving my inner grouch permission to run amok.

Fortunately Jo’s comment caused me examine the issue and correct it. I was a little embarrassed with my flirtation with the dark side, but it’s not like I had total amnesia on all things hopeful.  I just needed a little refresher course. And being a middle child who likes to share, I thought many of you who normally embrace optimism, but occasionally relapse, might benefit from what I discovered. Here are a few tips on how to refresh your optimism.

·         1. Go back to the basics. It doesn’t matter if it’s your golf swing, a diet or life. Review the basic principles of what you are trying to achieve. Chances are you didn’t develop an esoteric tendency that nullifies ALL your past efforts, you just need to review some of the fundamentals. The good news is you don’t need to start from the beginning.  Just do a quick review, discover where you went astray, and get back on track.

·            

o    2. To prevent from going too far off course, monitor your progress on a weekly, monthly or quarterly basis. It can be a list, check-up sheet, journal or any tool of your choosing. The point is to have a barometer to measure your level of optimism.  When you review your emotions you can spot when your attitude is taking a nosedive and catch it before it becomes a serious problem.

3.  Create an internal emotional vibration that matches the positive things you want to manifest. You can’t attract happiness when you dwell on misery any more than you can make orange juice by squeezing an onion. Match your thoughts, speech, actions and emotions with your desired outcome, NOT YOUR FEARS.

In conclusion, remember we all make mistakes. No one is perfect, not even the self-help gurus. Also, I might add, nothing is gained by beating yourself up. For example my hamstring is healing, but it still hurts. I can complain about it for hours, but that doesn’t help. Not even a little. Instead I choose to look at this painful experience as a life lesson. Maybe I had to get a pain in the butt to learn how to not BE a pain in the butt.  Now how is that for a refreshing thought?

Nature makes you think positively

Here is a guest post by Emily King.

Everyday obligations and tasks occupy our minds so that we are practically disabled to think in any other way from the one that is prescribed by the established social norms.

When you are a pupil or a student, you are forced to go to school, to study and to attend some extracurricular activities. Many children even have to go to different trainings and other activities that are not in a direct relation to school. When you grow up, you are asked or forced to look for a job and become an independent person.

While this might be the proper way of functioning for the society we live in, it leaves big scars on our souls. People's natural state is not spending days and nights in front of the computer. It is neither wasting half of your time off work on commuting, nor throwing away your natural potentials on the process of becoming a slave for someone else, who earns money on putting you in (both metaphorically and literally) chains.

As those children mentioned in the previous paragraph, we are forced to do things as some ruling head or a trust of brains have imagined. By our obedience to those deeply structured rules, we become cogs in the money-making mechanism that takes away your energy and vitality so that its members or rulers could do what every person should do in the first place – find peace and take care of his or her own persona.

We can often see TV programs in which famous actors, music stars or wealthy businesspeople show us around their manors in the country or at the sea. The program's hosts and those larger-than-ordinary-life figures together create an imitation of life for many hard-working regular people. Us, the prudent pillars of their society, are meant to watch that and heap praise on their success. Sometimes we even get angry with ourselves and our lack of knowledge and courage to do the same as they did to enjoy the lavishness of life. We fill our minds and bodies with negative energy while the solution is so close within our reach.

We are here, on this beautiful planet thanks to our parents and we should appreciate our lives more than we do. Every day can be a new and different experience, embellished with beautiful sensations of nature around us and the world inside us. Going to work, sweating in the underground train, devouring fast food to get back to work and toil for those boasting characters from those TV programs cannot be your only function in this world. Stop for a moment and listen to the wind, to the rustling of the leaves. Take a look at birds flying above you or at clouds hurrying to the horizon. All those pictures around us are here thanks to the balance of nature. Humans should grow their food in their gardens. We buy artificially grown food, together with fruit treated with pesticides and frozen vegetables.

By agreeing on being a part of the rat race for the three-meal day and a ten-day holiday, we disqualify all the potentials nature has for us. It is the strongest force in this world and it sends us numerous messages to make our lives easier and happier. Listening to its frequencies and guidelines can change your view of the world.

Just like in the movie Into the Wild, where the protagonist decides to go away from the city rush and the bright future planned by his parents, adorned with college diplomas and material possession, we can turn to the other side. Observing and listening to nature and its mind-easing messages, spending time in woods, in parks or at lakes will help us come closer to what our species used to be. Turning to nature and its laws can be a real refuge for all those people struck by poverty and injustice. Mother nature is waiting for us. Heed its call and you will do something most useful for your mental and physical health.

About: Lily is a mother of two wonderful girls, and she needed something to break her out of her bad habits. Going out to nature was just like a gift from God. Visit
http://www.savingmoneyexpert.com.au/

For information about my website check out www.EraseNegativity.com.

To Listen and "Make it So"

I went with my daughter, Alicia, and her family to get haircuts yesterday. My granddaughters are four and six years old and sometimes I tag along to make sure the girls don’t get into any trouble while their mom is getting her hair trimmed.

Also, the cosmetology school where we go, International Academy of Hair Design,

www.beautyschoolrocks.com is one of my public relations clients. I like to visit the school and talk to the students, instructors and customers to see what interesting developments are taking place. Also, the school is located at Fiesta Mall in Mesa, AZ. Right below the school is an indoor playground. This is a favorite spot for the girls to play – especially in the summer time when it is too hot for outdoor fun.

My oldest granddaughter, Rosannah, has long hair. It grows quickly, but occasionally she experiences the typical childhood hair disaster - gum in her goldie locks or a misguided attempt at playing hair stylist without a license. Fortunately, she enjoys going to the award-winning beauty school and often asks me about the staff and students there. She was recently a model for the school when the producer from KPNX asked for a segment on “Creating Princess Hair.” Now Rosannah feels like she is “one of the girls.”

Rosannah is kind and observant. She is generous with her compliments and is the first to notice when I sport a new manicure or pedicure. Due to her love of beauty embellishments I have become a little more adventurous in my taste. Rather than go the traditional route (pinkish polish or French tips) I have the cosmetology students at IAHD add glittery pizzaz to my nails. My only question is why did I wait so long? Life is too short to deny myself some sparkle.

Unfortunately, Briannah, my younger granddaughter, is more skeptical of the whole beauty process. Her hair grows more slowly than her sister’s. She didn’t even need a haircut until this year. When it became necessary to have a hair cut (and not just a little bang trim) she wasn’t too thrilled about the prospect. She suggested skipping the ordeal and spending extra time in the kid’s play area instead. On one occasion she vehemently refused to cooperate. Rather than take a risk, the instructor suggested we not force the issue.

However, this time our trip to the school manifested different results. Briannah was not only willing to get her hair styled and trimmed, she was okay with getting her hair shampooed as well.

Mother and daughters lined up at the shampoo bowls for hair cleansing and a scalp massage.

This got me to wondering, “Why is it women and girls enjoy going to the hair stylist?” Of course there is the obvious, to look better. This is no small thing. When we look better, we feel better. When we feel better we smile more and interact more sociably with those we meet. It creates a happy, harmonious cycle.

But it goes deeper. A good hair stylist (or cosmetology student) listens. Really listens. They pay attention to your vision of how you want to look and they do their best to make your beauty dream a reality.

My 4-year-old grandchild is a case in point.Briannah is a chatty little girl. Her cosmetology student stylist, Rosalinda, asked her preschool patron about her life. I didn’t hear the whole conversation, but as I observed from across the room I could see my youngest granddaughter enthralled in a gabfest. I’m sure she told Rosalinda about her Christmas presents, pets and even preschool. As Briannah talked, I could see Rosalinda smile and listen attentively. I’m sure the cosmetology student complimented my favorite four-year-old on her hair and beauty.

Briannah may only be four years old, but she was experiencing something so many of us crave – to be truly listened to. The preschooler came in for a new style, but she came out with more. A true test was in the final product. In addition to the haircut, Briannah had asked for a braid. The child’s hair isn’t long enough for a traditional braid, so Rosalinda created a halo-like braid around the back of Briannah’s head. This was not Alicia’s vision for her daughter (although she wasn’t opposed to the idea) it was Briannah’s idea. Rosalinda listened and like Captain Jean Luc Picard from Star Trek, the Next Generation, she demonstrated she could “make it so” and did. Needless to say, Briannah was absolutely thrilled with the results.

When everyone was coiffed and styled

(including daddy Greg)

the family went to a rock and mineral show at nearby Mesa Community College. I could see both of my grandchildren were satisfied with their new “look” and felt more confident. When they approached one of the rock booths they chatted up one of the vendors. I’m sure the cute little girls were a welcome sight compared to the old codgers like me who generally attend these events. Before we walked away the vendor gave each girl a free baggy full of rocks and explained what each one was.

“I go to preschool and these will be great for show and tell,” Briannah exclaimed.

Her enthusiasm earned her and her sister a couple additional stones. Later, Briannah would tell me that these rocks would be part of her “collection.” Although I can’t prove it, I think Briannah’s trip to International Academy of Hair Design in Fiesta Mall, increased her self esteem. Rosalinda treated her with respect and kindness (as did Digna who took care of Rosannah’s needs) and the cosmetology students who were assigned to Alicia and Greg. Together all of the future cosmetologists created a warm and caring atmosphere, and my daughter’s family was satisfied with the experience.

However, a visit to a cosmetology school may not be for everyone. One drawback (although it can also be perceived as an advantage depending on your perspective) is the cosmetology students take their time. Speed will come with experience, but while they are learning their trade they are motivated by quality, not quantity. That said, they do not operate in a vacuum. All students perform under the supervision of a licensed instructor to ensure quality and safety.

Something I gleaned from my experience was about mutual goals. Customers come in for a service. Whether it’s a trim, hair extension, relaxer, permanent wave, color or nail service, each person has a mental image of how they want to look. The cosmetology student also has a goal and vision. He or she wants to complete their education and launch into a satisfying career where they help people look and feel great. When you combine these dual purposes you have a bonding experience where everyone’s beauty-related wishes can come true. How awesome is that?

So what’s the take-away on this story? It’s not about our hair, it’s about our ears. If we can focus on talking less and learning to listen with an open mind and heart, there is no limit to the beauty we can create in our lives.

IAHD and its sister schools in Texas, Oklahoma, New Mexico and Florida are offering 40% off all relaxer services and 50% off all perm services now through Feb. 28, 2014. Prospective cosmetology students can visit www.beautyschoolrocks.com or call and make an appointment with the school’s admissions director.

Mesa Fiesta Mall – 480-820-9422
Mill Avenue in Tempe – 480-964-8675
Metro Center Mall in Phoenix – 602-944-0001
Desert Sky Mall in West Phoenix – 623-846-4000

Smile Blossoms

The Foxtail Orchid necklace arrived in the mail two days after Christmas. My six-year-old granddaughter, Rosannah, and I had walked to the community mailbox to kick-start my New Year’s resolution to exercise more. I thought the half-mile jaunt to the mailbox was a good way to combine fitness with function.

Checking the mail can be a dismal task, but it was a bright, cool and sunny afternoon in Arizona, and with the knowledge that my credit card statement wouldn’t arrive for another week and a half, I had little to fear. I opened the mailbox. There, in a postal cubby sharing space with bills, advertisements and one late holiday card was a welcome package from Eternal Girl.

http://www.etsy.com/shop/EternalGirl/about?ref=announce

My necklace had arrived.

Both Rosannah and I couldn’t wait until we walked home to admire the piece. We stopped at a bench and opened the padded envelope. Inside was an adorable, hand-made box. We opened it and pulled out the pendant. The sunlight sparkled as we admired the crimson flower petal design encased in an airy, antique-finish, casing.

“It’s beautiful,” said Rosannah as I placed it around her neck. “It makes me feel happy.”

We took turns trying the necklace on and taking pictures of it for this review. I thought it was very mystical that I read that flowers in henna tradition represent joy and happiness and it was the one of the first things Rosannah said when the piece was placed around her neck. However, I, with many more years of skeptical thinking, felt the necklace had a calming, yet joyful, quality about it when I wore it.

I recently started taking yoga and yogalates (a combination of yoga and pilates) and I thought how perfect the piece would look as I struck my Tadasana pose or let it dangle while I attempted a cat-cow stretch. Although the brass, antique finish and intricate trim around the pendant casing gives the impression of heft, the piece is feather-light. The brilliant colors of the orchid almost seem to illuminate a happy, yet subdued quality that is a perfect complement to a novice yoga practitioner. Rather than other pieces of flashier jewelry I own, this Foxtail Orchid has a subdued, unaffected charm that seems to whisper fresh, wholesome and sunny.

However, I was curious what my Generation Y, daughter, Brittany, would think of the Foxtail Orchid.

She donned the pendant at a large family gathering. She was already in a festive mood, so I can’t credit her happiness entirely on what she was wearing (she was happy before she accented her striped sweater with the henna-inspired creation.)

“I really like it,” she replied when I asked for her assessment of the pendant. “It’s unique, has a really good clasp and is well-constructed. I appreciate something that is hand-crafted.”

Brittany has fashioned her own jewelry and has a keen eye for quality workmanship.

“This pendant looks like the unique type of jewelry you might discover while on travel,” she stated. “You can tell the artisan who created it put a lot of time and thought into it.”

Brittany went on to say that jewelry has a special meaning to her and the story or thought behind a piece speaks volumes more than the price tag.

“In our family I know that most of us may never have enough money to splurge on everything that glitters and shines, but I feel like it has been a blessing because it teaches us to focus on what is truly special.”

Brittany talked about how the thought of a gift spoke volumes more than the price tag. The Foxtail Orchid pendant also made her reflect on the role of jewelry in her life.

“Some of my favorite memories growing up were when cousin Ashley and I were playing dress up with grandma's scarves and jewelry. In my eyes, her bowling bracelet was on the same level as the Hope Diamond, and to this day I still don't know if the tiara ring I found was actually made of plastic for a Barbie, or if it really was a legitimate piece of jewelry. Regardless, I will always remember feeling like I was one of the royals even when it was draping ill-fittingly on my tiny little finger because of how treasured that piece really was. One of my favorite things about this necklace was the filigree on this piece. It reminds me of the vanity organizer

that I found at Goodwill while I was dropping off some donations. It may have only cost me a few dollars, but it reminds me every morning of the way I felt playing dress up, and makes me feel like a part of grandma is there with me. In the few short weeks that this necklace has been around, it has created a special moment that you were able to spend with your granddaughter, and a moment that helped me remember my grandmother, and that is something that I feel is worth noting.”

So there you have the assessment of Eternal Girl’s Foxtail Orchid pendant by three generations of the Marks family (four if you count Brittany’s memories of her grandmother.) There is no limit on what a person can spend their money on for themselves or others. This is especially true in jewelry. However, my advice is rather than going for an extravagant purchase that can cause a financial hardship, consider a gift that evokes a pleasant memory – as did the Foxtail Orchid pendant for me and my daughter, Brittany, and hopefully one day, my granddaughter, Rosannah.

Information about Eternal Girl
The henna-inspired creations are hand-drawn designs by Julia, the owner of Eternal Girl. View more designs here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/84838920@N07/sets/

Find new items, shop updates, and coupon codes on:
FB: www.facebook.com/eternalgirlshop
BLOG: http://juliaspuellaaeterna.blogspot.com

My Little Black Dress

This flutter dress from Fresh Produce has it all – effortless style, comfort and versatility. The sexy, V-neckline, gathered waistline and fashionable flutter flap add elegance and flair. I chose this style because I thought the classic design could perform double duty and be dressed up or down depending on my accessories. When I travel on a cruise, vacation or business trip I need outfits that I can wear more than once. The machine-washable fabric is delightfully soft and easy to pack. Sizes tend to run a tad large, so I’d suggest carefully checking the size chart before ordering. At $89 the dress seems a bit pricey, but when you factor in the benefits (say goodbye to those nasty dry cleaning bills) it is a bargain.

I recently wore this dress to a funeral. I thought the neckline was a bit too revealing for the occasion, but found that wearing a black camisole with a lacy top worked perfectly. The only down side of this dress is that it does not hide the extra pounds that I have accumulated in middle age as much as other outfits I own. I cannot blame Fresh Produce for this (if there were a company called Too Many Desserts and Not Enough Exercise that would be a better scapegoat label). However, since many of Fresh Produce’s customers are women like me, they might find a way to design something that hides the dreaded “menopot” that comes with middle age and a post menopausal lifestyle.

That said, you can’t always have restricted style and comfort, so I still think this little number is a great item for any woman’s wardrobe. I can see wearing it casually, to a party, and even to bed. If I can exercise more and eat more fresh produce (as well as wear it) I will be one happy grandma.
To view this dress (which is on sale now) go to

http://freshproduceclothes.com/flutter-dress.html

ABOUT THE REVIEWER
Sally Marks is screenwriter, television writer, author and the president of Marks Public Relations. This blog article was written in exchange for the product review. To view the dress, visit the link above. For more information about Sally, her book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within, or her public relations business please visit www.EraseNegativity.com.

Rerun of Enjoying Christmas "Presence"

Here is another one of my favorite holiday blogs. The top picture is my daughter, Alicia around age 8 and her sister Brittany age 3. The lower picture are my granddaughters Rosannah and Briannah a couple of years ago. I hope you enjoy reading it.

One of the most challenging experiences I have in my daily life is to stay focused on the present moment. It is so easy for my mind to skip forward to the future or lapse into stale memories. Although I’d like to think I’m older and wiser, I have found children are much better at enjoying (or being grumpy about) what is happening right now. If you don’t believe me, try convincing an infant to wait two hours to be fed
or a three-year old with a full bladder he or she can wait until you get home to pee.

However, the one occasion where children DO put their minds into the future is Christmas time. Who doesn’t remember being a kid and anxiously counting the days until the holidays? Unfortunately, as I have aged, and in spite of every retailer putting up holiday decorations on display in September, the holidays have a way of sneaking up on me. Last year I didn’t trim the tree until Dec. 20th!

Fortunately, I learned from my mistake. This year, I decided to put up my Christmas tree up before I polished off my Thanksgiving leftovers.

My Tannebaum is a straggly old, plastic thing but I love it. After my divorce I got rid of a lot of things I didn’t want to move. My old tree went to Goodwill. For a few years I did not put up a Chanukah bush. Between limited finances and lack of holiday cheer, I could not face the idea of putting up a tree by myself. My marriage was over, I lost my job and my future prospects were looking pretty shabby. My oldest daughter, Alicia was newly married, so I went through the ornaments and gave her many of her hand-made decorations, as well as colorful balls that said things like Baby’s First Christmas 1980.



I eventually remarried, but my new spouse, CB, did not want a tree in the house. I put out a bowl of ornaments and placed a couple of holiday items in the music room. I complied with the request to go treeless for a year or two, but finally decided that enough was enough. This Boo Jew (a semi-kosher gal who converted to Buddhism in the 1980s) decided to take a stand and buy a tree to put it on. I decorated the tree alone. Eventually I convinced CB to place one ornament, a trumpet, on the tree.

However, as soon as my first grandchild was born (five years ago) I made sure I would have company when I celebrated the holidays. Little Rosannah was only a few weeks old for her first tree-decorating experience. I spread out a blanket and put her on it as I engaged in my tree trimming festivities. She seemed to enjoy the colorful lights and didn’t cry when I sang holiday tunes.

The next year Rosannah was a little more active and I had to work hard to keep her from eating the ornaments. But, with her company (although not her help) I got the job done. The following year a new granddaughter was a part of the mix. Putting the tree up and watching them was a real challenge, but I got it done.

This year Rosannah and Briannah are 5 and 3 years old. Rosannah helped put the tree stand together and placed the branches into their slots. Briannah was mostly focused on one ornament that she kept trying to hang before the tree was ready. However, both girls enjoyed looking at a lifetime’s worth of memories disguised as wooden reindeers, Santa Clauses and stockings.

After Briannah hung up her favorite ornament she became obsessed with the candy canes. I can’t even tell you what decade it was when we got those sugary sticks. However, I DO remember my youngest daughter, Brittany, was in junior high and was supposed to sell the red and white stripped peppermints to earn money for her school orchestra. Unfortunately, our dog, Rusty, ate a box and licked a bunch of other ones. The candy canes have been part of our holiday decorations ever since that incident.


After an hour or so the tree was up, the lights strung and my two granddaughter had placed numerous decorations on the tree. Unlike when I was growing up, I didn’t enforce any decorating rules. In my youth we weren’t supposed to put two of the same color balls next to each other, and, when possible, we tried to color coordinate the hue of the ball with the nearest light. Green ornament next to the green light, red ball by the red light etc. Candy canes were distributed evenly. Briannah decided they should all be placed together in a sort of candy cane family clump. Needless to say, all the decoration were on the bottom half of the tree.

Years ago, that decorating scheme would have bothered my sensibilities, but now I enjoy seeing their handiwork. I also admire how they appreciated each item. They didn’t reminisce about holidays past, they were perfectly happy to take part in the present activity.

It made me pause and think of how much I can learn from my grandchildren. I have an advantage of age and experience, but they are experts at living in the moment. And it’s truly a gift to have these adorable girls in my life.

To all of you reading this story, I hope you have a great holiday. My wish for you is to be kind to yourself and others, release past hurts and embrace the season as if you were a child again. Happy Holidays!