When I was a kid I remember lying in the grass and looking up at the sky. I’d watch the clouds float by and imagine each fluffy shape was any number of things, from dragons to puppy dogs.
I still find it interesting to look at cloud shapes. But now my sky gazing is mostly limited to strolls in the desert, or riding as a passenger in the car. It would be fun to be a cloud watcher while I’m stuck in traffic, but if I were to do that while navigating the highway I’d probably rear end a few cars and send myself and a couple innocent commuters to heaven ahead of schedule. It’s like Kenny Chesney’s lyrics, “everybody want to go to heaven, but nobody want to go now.” So, I’ll pay attention to where I’m driving and wait to see whether that Cumulonimbus looks like a horse or a battle ship.
However, cloud gazing has taken on a new meaning for me lately. I’ve been making it a priority to live in the present moment and appreciate the simple beauty in the world. Isn’t it ironic how we will save for months to go on a week’s long vacation to an exotic place and spend the rest of the year ignoring the beauty that is right outside our door?
But I must confess I have another reason for cloud watching. I recently read a book on how many of the questions we face can be answered by observing nature. This is nothing new. Mankind has been looking to the heavens, plants, animals, tea leaves and any number of physical manifestations to help guide us through life.
A case in point is my own insecurity as an author. I’ve known I was going to be a writer since I was 10 years old. I’ve been published in numerous magazines and won a bunch of awards, but there is always that nasty little voice that crawls from the dirtiest, dustiest part of my brain and sticks its gooey little head out of ear and tells me I’m no good. The little rat fink loves to taunt me when I’m down. She also harasses me when I’m feeling good.
I’ve mostly caught on to her shenanigans and recognize it as the Fundamental Darkness (aka as FD) that all of us share. Of course everyone’s FD will manifest in different ways. Mine mostly takes the form of a writer’s critic telling me that everything I write is schlock. It’s like an internal boogey man. However, just like the boogey man disappears when you turn on the light, mine disappears when I have more enlightened thoughts, actions and speech.
However, I was having a few doubts the other day and I asked for a sign that Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within, the book Jackie and I are writing, is going to be successful. I was feeling a tad depressed because I received a couple rejections. I understand it takes time to find the right publisher, but there is always that nagging doubt that I ought to do something else with my life. Anyway, I asked for a sign of what I should do. I looked up at the clouds and I saw a little creature with two paws together, as if in prayer.
“Okay, I get it,” I said to myself. “I need to pray.” Of course I don’t need the clouds to tell me this. I know it, my senior leaders in faith know it, and most of the planet knows that prayer and meditation help us find the answers we desperately seek. But, I’m still human and need to be reminded of the obvious. So I got the message – literally – and did what I was supposed to do. But, being human, I was impatient when a crystal-clear, in-your-face, answer wasn’t forthcoming. This time I said out loud. “Listen, maybe I’m dense, but I need a very obvious sign that I’m on the right track with this book. Can you send me a sign that leaves no room for doubt?”
The next day I left to chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo with Rosie, a fellow Buddhist (see the blog entry, A Rosie Outlook for more about this charming woman). We chanted and chatted. Before I left she told me that she had read my blog and enjoyed my stories. She encouraged me to keep up my writing. Of course I was elated. It’s ironic that I went there with the thought that I would encourage her, and here she was encouraging me. But, that’s how life goes sometimes.
Anyway, I left feeling like my writing was having a positive effect and that I was definitely on the right track. I asked. The universe sent an answer. And there was nothing subtle about it.
Are all my battles won? Nope. Will my FD creep back in? No doubt it will. But I have a plan. When FD returns and emerges from my ear wax, I’ll shed a little light on things and she will melt away. Ewwww. Okay, so maybe I could use a nicer image. How about this? Today, the world seems a little brighter and my heart feels a little lighter. And if you’re wondering about where you’ll find my head and spirit, just look up at the heavens. You’ll seem them both floating on cloud nine.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
True Happiness
I recently posted a story, The Unwanted Christmas Tree, on http://www.ezine.com/. I don’t want to ruin the plot as I hope you will read the story for yourself, but suffice it to say that a similar scenario is facing thousands of families during this economic crisis that we are facing today.
However, no matter what your financial circumstances may be, or what time of year it is, there is a gift we can give to ourselves and our loved ones – the gift of ourselves. This can be time spent reading to a child, listening to the stories of an elderly relative, the courtesy of opening a door for someone with a heavy load, or simply offering a sincere compliment to a stranger.
None of these interactions cost a dime, yet how many times have you felt too rushed, too angry, or too self absorbed to offer these little kindnesses. And the sad thing is this not only robs so many people of a bright spot in their day, it prevents us from being the warm, loving and kind human being we were born to be.
The truest happiness exists not in how big our bank account is, what kind of car we drive, or where we sit on the corporate ladder. All of those things can come and go in an instant. Read or watch the news and you will see how some kingpin or beautiful actress has fallen from grace. Money, fame and power may be something we strive for, but even if we attain it, there is no guarantee it will last. Therefore, if we base our happiness on something transient, our happiness will not be long lasting. However, the positive relationships we develop with others, as well as our connection to the earth, God, or whatever spiritual practice we observe, can have long lasting benefits.
I had a taste of my own medicine this week when I lost two major accounts in my public relations business. It was a deep cut that reduced my monthly income by half. It threw me for a loop at first as I knew I had done a great job for both clients. However, in this economy, there are going to be some setbacks. Fortunately, I don’t believe life needs to be easy to be enjoyed. And I saw a lesson in my unexpected financial diet.
Frankly, I had been a little lazy about getting new accounts. This was a needed wake up call. Now I have the opportunity to build my clientele with new businesses that share my view on creating a more peaceful world, as well as a greener environment. I don’t want to settle for just earning a living, I want to contribute to the betterment of society. And as if by magic, I heard from someone I never met, who contacted and hired me for a great assignment. This isn't the end of my financial difficulties, but it helps. However more importantly, my days of sinking into despair and thinking "I'm no good because I don't have enough money" are no longer a part of my daily mantra.
You can develop the same attitude. In fact, we hope you will. That is why we developed this blog, and our upcoming book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. Let's fight this current stream of negativity and be a beam of hope. And to help spread this message, my coauthor Jackie and I are willing to speak to your group or association on the topics outlined in Erase Negativity. During the month of March, we will do this for free.
Spring is the perfect time to spread this optimistic message. And remember, if we all work together – even in the smallest ways – by showing kindness to strangers, smiling at folks as they walk by, working at something that is meaningful to ourselves and others, as well as trying to find the positive in even the darkest situation, we can make a big difference. Feel free to email us with your thoughts and questions.
Peace, love and happiness,
Sally
However, no matter what your financial circumstances may be, or what time of year it is, there is a gift we can give to ourselves and our loved ones – the gift of ourselves. This can be time spent reading to a child, listening to the stories of an elderly relative, the courtesy of opening a door for someone with a heavy load, or simply offering a sincere compliment to a stranger.
None of these interactions cost a dime, yet how many times have you felt too rushed, too angry, or too self absorbed to offer these little kindnesses. And the sad thing is this not only robs so many people of a bright spot in their day, it prevents us from being the warm, loving and kind human being we were born to be.
The truest happiness exists not in how big our bank account is, what kind of car we drive, or where we sit on the corporate ladder. All of those things can come and go in an instant. Read or watch the news and you will see how some kingpin or beautiful actress has fallen from grace. Money, fame and power may be something we strive for, but even if we attain it, there is no guarantee it will last. Therefore, if we base our happiness on something transient, our happiness will not be long lasting. However, the positive relationships we develop with others, as well as our connection to the earth, God, or whatever spiritual practice we observe, can have long lasting benefits.
I had a taste of my own medicine this week when I lost two major accounts in my public relations business. It was a deep cut that reduced my monthly income by half. It threw me for a loop at first as I knew I had done a great job for both clients. However, in this economy, there are going to be some setbacks. Fortunately, I don’t believe life needs to be easy to be enjoyed. And I saw a lesson in my unexpected financial diet.
Frankly, I had been a little lazy about getting new accounts. This was a needed wake up call. Now I have the opportunity to build my clientele with new businesses that share my view on creating a more peaceful world, as well as a greener environment. I don’t want to settle for just earning a living, I want to contribute to the betterment of society. And as if by magic, I heard from someone I never met, who contacted and hired me for a great assignment. This isn't the end of my financial difficulties, but it helps. However more importantly, my days of sinking into despair and thinking "I'm no good because I don't have enough money" are no longer a part of my daily mantra.
You can develop the same attitude. In fact, we hope you will. That is why we developed this blog, and our upcoming book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. Let's fight this current stream of negativity and be a beam of hope. And to help spread this message, my coauthor Jackie and I are willing to speak to your group or association on the topics outlined in Erase Negativity. During the month of March, we will do this for free.
Spring is the perfect time to spread this optimistic message. And remember, if we all work together – even in the smallest ways – by showing kindness to strangers, smiling at folks as they walk by, working at something that is meaningful to ourselves and others, as well as trying to find the positive in even the darkest situation, we can make a big difference. Feel free to email us with your thoughts and questions.
Peace, love and happiness,
Sally
Monday, March 2, 2009
The Day the Music Died
I was listening to the oldies station the other day and the song, American Pie, by Don McLean came on. I was alone in my car, so I belted out the lyrics “drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was dry” with abandon. It made me think of the first time I heard the song in 1971. My boyfriend (later my husband who eventually became my ex husband) and I were driving my car to the Salt River. Somehow singing “Drove my Dodge to the river, but the river’s not dry” just didn’t have the same pizzaz. But I digress.
The song is about the death of Buddy Holly and has the famous line, “the day the music died.” I enjoy listening to music. On occasion I compose an original song, or spoof silly lyrics to an existing melody. Music is a source of joy for me. However, there was a time when the music died in my life.
In the late 1990s I separated from my husband of 26 years. I tried to rebuild a life for myself and my youngest daughter, Brittany. It was a difficult and painful time. In a matter of months my marriage dissolved, I was laid off from my job of eight years, my teenage daughter was skipping school and in danger of flunking out, and two of my closest friends deserted me. My confidence was in the toilet. I mistakenly thought a relationship would make things good again. I found a new love, but to my chagrin, I was dumped after three months. I was a middle-aged, college-educated woman, yet I seemed unsuccessful in making my way in the world. Every time I turned on the radio, a song from a happier past hit me like a slap across the face. I turned the radio off and drove in silence. I did this for months.
Then one day as I was driving home from work, I turned the radio on so I could hear the traffic report. A happy song floated through the air waves. Instead of changing the station, I let the song play. I’m not sure why, but something shifted in my pessimistic brain. I looked at the horizon and noticed a gorgeous sunset. It was, in fact, a beautiful spring day. Why hadn’t I noticed this before? Nothing in my situation had changed, only my thoughts. I felt happy again. I decided to build on that. If I could be happy for five minutes, I could be happy for 15. In time, minutes stretched to hours, and hours into days.
Once I realized that I could shift my thoughts from the old “woe as me” and concentrate on the many good things in my life, I felt better. It wasn’t like there wasn’t anything good in my life. I just chose to concentrate – okay DWELL - on the negatives. It was no wonder I felt rotten.
Every day since then, I make it a point to think of a few things I’m grateful for. I wake up and say out loud how happy I am to be alive. As I go through my morning routine I continue contemplating the many wonderful things I have – my health, my family, my friends… The list goes on. As I read the paper I realize how fortunate I am that I can read. There are a lot of people in the world where literacy is a luxury. I have use of all of my five senses, touch, taste, hearing, sight and smell. I have a roof over my head and enough food to eat. I may not always agree with the political shenanigans that take place, but I am grateful to live in the United States where we enjoy a number of freedoms that others can only imagine.
The joy generated from an optimistic outlook is not unique. It is well documented that individuals who express appreciation on a daily basis feel happier and enjoy a more fulfilling life. I just read an article that states that individuals who express gratitude in their lives report fewer physical maladies, sleep better, are more optimistic, exercise more, and enjoy a greater sense of connectedness with others.
In our upcoming book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within, a whole chapter is dedicated to gratitude (Oh Gracious Me!) Every single person who was interviewed for the book commented on how important expressing gratitude was for their success and happiness in life. So if you don’t already have a gratitude journal, recite daily affirmations, or take note of the blessings in your life, why not give it a try? The only thing you have to lose is a little negativity.
The song is about the death of Buddy Holly and has the famous line, “the day the music died.” I enjoy listening to music. On occasion I compose an original song, or spoof silly lyrics to an existing melody. Music is a source of joy for me. However, there was a time when the music died in my life.
In the late 1990s I separated from my husband of 26 years. I tried to rebuild a life for myself and my youngest daughter, Brittany. It was a difficult and painful time. In a matter of months my marriage dissolved, I was laid off from my job of eight years, my teenage daughter was skipping school and in danger of flunking out, and two of my closest friends deserted me. My confidence was in the toilet. I mistakenly thought a relationship would make things good again. I found a new love, but to my chagrin, I was dumped after three months. I was a middle-aged, college-educated woman, yet I seemed unsuccessful in making my way in the world. Every time I turned on the radio, a song from a happier past hit me like a slap across the face. I turned the radio off and drove in silence. I did this for months.
Then one day as I was driving home from work, I turned the radio on so I could hear the traffic report. A happy song floated through the air waves. Instead of changing the station, I let the song play. I’m not sure why, but something shifted in my pessimistic brain. I looked at the horizon and noticed a gorgeous sunset. It was, in fact, a beautiful spring day. Why hadn’t I noticed this before? Nothing in my situation had changed, only my thoughts. I felt happy again. I decided to build on that. If I could be happy for five minutes, I could be happy for 15. In time, minutes stretched to hours, and hours into days.
Once I realized that I could shift my thoughts from the old “woe as me” and concentrate on the many good things in my life, I felt better. It wasn’t like there wasn’t anything good in my life. I just chose to concentrate – okay DWELL - on the negatives. It was no wonder I felt rotten.
Every day since then, I make it a point to think of a few things I’m grateful for. I wake up and say out loud how happy I am to be alive. As I go through my morning routine I continue contemplating the many wonderful things I have – my health, my family, my friends… The list goes on. As I read the paper I realize how fortunate I am that I can read. There are a lot of people in the world where literacy is a luxury. I have use of all of my five senses, touch, taste, hearing, sight and smell. I have a roof over my head and enough food to eat. I may not always agree with the political shenanigans that take place, but I am grateful to live in the United States where we enjoy a number of freedoms that others can only imagine.
The joy generated from an optimistic outlook is not unique. It is well documented that individuals who express appreciation on a daily basis feel happier and enjoy a more fulfilling life. I just read an article that states that individuals who express gratitude in their lives report fewer physical maladies, sleep better, are more optimistic, exercise more, and enjoy a greater sense of connectedness with others.
In our upcoming book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within, a whole chapter is dedicated to gratitude (Oh Gracious Me!) Every single person who was interviewed for the book commented on how important expressing gratitude was for their success and happiness in life. So if you don’t already have a gratitude journal, recite daily affirmations, or take note of the blessings in your life, why not give it a try? The only thing you have to lose is a little negativity.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Play Ball!
I was at a Buddhist meeting the other day and we were asked to create a bucket list. The inspiration for this exercise came from the movie, The Bucket List starring Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. In the movie the main characters create a list of things they want to see and do before they die (or kick the bucket).
I’m a big list maker, so I quickly wrote:
Publish my book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within
Sell my screenplays
Hit a home run in softball
In my more expanded bucket list I jotted down a few thoughts about improving a few relationships, as well as a few more altruistic goals, but the three that are listed above were the first ones that came to mind. I suppose I could have wished for world peace of something like that, but I wanted to be honest with myself, as well as with those who were with me at the meeting.
The book, which is still a work in progress, is a burning desire that I’m confident will come into being. It’s just not happening as quickly as I would like. I have my timetable and the universe has another. I can get annoyed that things aren’t going quickly, but it’s a bit like shouting at a rosebud to hurry up and bloom. Things take time.
Unlike the book, I’ve been hammering away at screenplays for several years. My first project was conceived when I was 19, but I didn’t complete it until I was in my 20s. During that time I took classes, went to seminars, paid a script analyst to look it over, followed by additional revisions based on his suggestions. In retrospect, while the script, Vanishing Dream, had some great lines and moments, I can honestly say the screenplay will not be made. Nor should it be. It stinks. But that’s okay, I learned a lot while I wrote it. It served its purpose and now it’s behind me. Not every experience or endeavor is going to reap magnificent rewards. It’s all a part of the learning process.
Last on my list is my goal of hitting a home run. I played softball in junior and senior high. I was mediocre at best, but I enjoyed the game and the camaraderie of team sports. I would fantasize about smacking a grand slam and scoring the winning run in a tournament. I would cross home plate, and the entire team would welcome me with cheers. It never exactly happened like that. I did come close, once, but that’s another story. The fact is, I never did hit that home run in the prime of my youth. Sometimes when I’d reminisce, it made me a little sad about this unaccomplished feat.
But when I turned 50 I began to play ball again. I currently play on a senior softball league for women. I have no delusions. Just like before, I’m a mediocre player. However, I’m basically healthy, I haven’t had to have any hip or knee replacements (don’t laugh, a lot of the gals in the league have and they play in spite of it) and I love playing. It makes me feel like a kid again (except afterward when I’m sore and have to soak in the hot tub).
Since I’m not a big or strong athlete, I know that it isn’t going to be easy for me to hit a home run. I usually hit the ball to short stop, or sometimes center field, and I have to run like hell so I can beat out the throw. A lot of the times I make it, throw my hands in the air in victory, while my teammates cheer. If the first baseman makes a bad throw, I can make it to second base. They usually won’t make a bad throw to second, but if they did, I’d be ready to run to third. At that point I’d probably need to stop and rest a bit. But who knows, maybe my adrenalin would kick in and I could go all the way?
The thing is, it’s possible. Maybe it won’t be today (we already played and I only hit a single). But maybe it will happen during the tournament this weekend. There’s still time and I still have hope. Even if it doesn’t happen this season, there’s always next year. Heck, we have Betty, the oldest gal in the league, on our tam. She’s 80 years old and still going strong. If I stay healthy I could be playing for another 20, 25 or 30 years! With a decade, two or three ahead of me, chances are very good that I’ll master my swing and make that dream of smacking a “home run” a reality.
Upon reflection, I realize that even if I never hit one over the fence, I don’t have to be a slugger to earn a big hoot and a holler. My teammates cheer, wave and shout to each other in greetings just for showing up to play. As one spectator said to me one day, “Every day above ground is a good day.” This is the fourth year I have played in the senior league. Despite emotional setbacks, financial woes, illness or injuries, we all get out there and give it our best. And our best keeps changing.
Today, as our coach encouraged us to stretch to go after a hard-to-catch ball she said, “If you try, you might. If you don’t, you won’t.” It works that way in life too. So, whether it’s getting a publisher for my book, selling my scripts, or hitting a home run, I’m going to go after my bucket list with all I’ve got. And I hope you will create your own list and go for it too.
I’m a big list maker, so I quickly wrote:
Publish my book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within
Sell my screenplays
Hit a home run in softball
In my more expanded bucket list I jotted down a few thoughts about improving a few relationships, as well as a few more altruistic goals, but the three that are listed above were the first ones that came to mind. I suppose I could have wished for world peace of something like that, but I wanted to be honest with myself, as well as with those who were with me at the meeting.
The book, which is still a work in progress, is a burning desire that I’m confident will come into being. It’s just not happening as quickly as I would like. I have my timetable and the universe has another. I can get annoyed that things aren’t going quickly, but it’s a bit like shouting at a rosebud to hurry up and bloom. Things take time.
Unlike the book, I’ve been hammering away at screenplays for several years. My first project was conceived when I was 19, but I didn’t complete it until I was in my 20s. During that time I took classes, went to seminars, paid a script analyst to look it over, followed by additional revisions based on his suggestions. In retrospect, while the script, Vanishing Dream, had some great lines and moments, I can honestly say the screenplay will not be made. Nor should it be. It stinks. But that’s okay, I learned a lot while I wrote it. It served its purpose and now it’s behind me. Not every experience or endeavor is going to reap magnificent rewards. It’s all a part of the learning process.
Last on my list is my goal of hitting a home run. I played softball in junior and senior high. I was mediocre at best, but I enjoyed the game and the camaraderie of team sports. I would fantasize about smacking a grand slam and scoring the winning run in a tournament. I would cross home plate, and the entire team would welcome me with cheers. It never exactly happened like that. I did come close, once, but that’s another story. The fact is, I never did hit that home run in the prime of my youth. Sometimes when I’d reminisce, it made me a little sad about this unaccomplished feat.
But when I turned 50 I began to play ball again. I currently play on a senior softball league for women. I have no delusions. Just like before, I’m a mediocre player. However, I’m basically healthy, I haven’t had to have any hip or knee replacements (don’t laugh, a lot of the gals in the league have and they play in spite of it) and I love playing. It makes me feel like a kid again (except afterward when I’m sore and have to soak in the hot tub).
Since I’m not a big or strong athlete, I know that it isn’t going to be easy for me to hit a home run. I usually hit the ball to short stop, or sometimes center field, and I have to run like hell so I can beat out the throw. A lot of the times I make it, throw my hands in the air in victory, while my teammates cheer. If the first baseman makes a bad throw, I can make it to second base. They usually won’t make a bad throw to second, but if they did, I’d be ready to run to third. At that point I’d probably need to stop and rest a bit. But who knows, maybe my adrenalin would kick in and I could go all the way?
The thing is, it’s possible. Maybe it won’t be today (we already played and I only hit a single). But maybe it will happen during the tournament this weekend. There’s still time and I still have hope. Even if it doesn’t happen this season, there’s always next year. Heck, we have Betty, the oldest gal in the league, on our tam. She’s 80 years old and still going strong. If I stay healthy I could be playing for another 20, 25 or 30 years! With a decade, two or three ahead of me, chances are very good that I’ll master my swing and make that dream of smacking a “home run” a reality.
Upon reflection, I realize that even if I never hit one over the fence, I don’t have to be a slugger to earn a big hoot and a holler. My teammates cheer, wave and shout to each other in greetings just for showing up to play. As one spectator said to me one day, “Every day above ground is a good day.” This is the fourth year I have played in the senior league. Despite emotional setbacks, financial woes, illness or injuries, we all get out there and give it our best. And our best keeps changing.
Today, as our coach encouraged us to stretch to go after a hard-to-catch ball she said, “If you try, you might. If you don’t, you won’t.” It works that way in life too. So, whether it’s getting a publisher for my book, selling my scripts, or hitting a home run, I’m going to go after my bucket list with all I’ve got. And I hope you will create your own list and go for it too.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Boarish Behavior
Boars get a bad rap. At least that is my assessment after hearing an interesting story the other day.
I attended the wedding of a friend. I didn’t know anyone except the bride and my spouse, CB. As we waited to go into the reception area, CB and I chatted with a few of the guests. One nice couple lived close to the resort where the wedding was held. Eventually, the conversation segued to the beauty of the desert terrain and interesting wildlife that inhabited the area.
After a humorous tale about rattle snakes and swimming pools, one gentleman talked about how the entrance of his home became a makeshift maternity clinic. He described the scenario. It was a cold night and a pregnant javelina (wild pig) sought safety and warmth to deliver her baby. The mother lay near the front door, protected on three sides by the house. The remaining side was open. However, nine other javelina came to the rescue and formed a semi circle in front of the pregnant sow – offering protection and warmth. Once the sow delivered, the boars went on their way back into the desert.
I found this story very inspiring. In my mind’s eye I envisioned these hairy beasts lying on their sides, the vapor of their breath rising in the night air. It must have been very reassuring to the pregnant sow to have her comrades at her side while she brought her little one into the world. I had no idea that javelina had such a cooperative nature. I usually think of boars as rude, selfish and uncaring. In fact, I can’t even tell you how many times I have heard the word “boar,” or a derivative, used to describe unsavory behavior and characteristics.
I also thought about how inspiring it was to hear this simple tale. Rather than a superficial discussion of the weather, it was refreshing to hear a story that offered hope and inspiration. If boars can work together in a cold and dangerous situation, then surely human beings can too.
As the wedding festivities continued throughout the evening, we talked to a variety of individuals. One woman spent several years teaching brain-damaged children to swim. Another couple (who had been married for 60 years) shared the secrets of a long and happy marriage. We applauded as a five-year-old boy provided dance moves that were just as entertaining as “Dancing with the Stars”. It was an incredible and joyful evening.
The next day I did a mental recap of the previous night, it occurred to me that wonderful events like this are not unique. They take place every day. In contrast to the numerous reports I have heard about how marriages are failing, I witnessed several happy couples (many who had been married 40 years and longer) dancing cheek to cheek. We talked to teachers, pet sitters, bankers and doctors who had found ways to make the world a better place.
These folks may not be featured on Oprah, hang out with Paris Hilton or make the cover of People magazine, but their stories are just as important as the depressing sagas reported in the media. In fact, I would suggest these happy stories are even more important because they provide us with laughter, hope and inspiration.
In our upcoming book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within, we offer advice on how to develop an optimistic viewpoint. If javelina can work together to make a difference, than just imagine what human beings can do.
I attended the wedding of a friend. I didn’t know anyone except the bride and my spouse, CB. As we waited to go into the reception area, CB and I chatted with a few of the guests. One nice couple lived close to the resort where the wedding was held. Eventually, the conversation segued to the beauty of the desert terrain and interesting wildlife that inhabited the area.
After a humorous tale about rattle snakes and swimming pools, one gentleman talked about how the entrance of his home became a makeshift maternity clinic. He described the scenario. It was a cold night and a pregnant javelina (wild pig) sought safety and warmth to deliver her baby. The mother lay near the front door, protected on three sides by the house. The remaining side was open. However, nine other javelina came to the rescue and formed a semi circle in front of the pregnant sow – offering protection and warmth. Once the sow delivered, the boars went on their way back into the desert.
I found this story very inspiring. In my mind’s eye I envisioned these hairy beasts lying on their sides, the vapor of their breath rising in the night air. It must have been very reassuring to the pregnant sow to have her comrades at her side while she brought her little one into the world. I had no idea that javelina had such a cooperative nature. I usually think of boars as rude, selfish and uncaring. In fact, I can’t even tell you how many times I have heard the word “boar,” or a derivative, used to describe unsavory behavior and characteristics.
I also thought about how inspiring it was to hear this simple tale. Rather than a superficial discussion of the weather, it was refreshing to hear a story that offered hope and inspiration. If boars can work together in a cold and dangerous situation, then surely human beings can too.
As the wedding festivities continued throughout the evening, we talked to a variety of individuals. One woman spent several years teaching brain-damaged children to swim. Another couple (who had been married for 60 years) shared the secrets of a long and happy marriage. We applauded as a five-year-old boy provided dance moves that were just as entertaining as “Dancing with the Stars”. It was an incredible and joyful evening.
The next day I did a mental recap of the previous night, it occurred to me that wonderful events like this are not unique. They take place every day. In contrast to the numerous reports I have heard about how marriages are failing, I witnessed several happy couples (many who had been married 40 years and longer) dancing cheek to cheek. We talked to teachers, pet sitters, bankers and doctors who had found ways to make the world a better place.
These folks may not be featured on Oprah, hang out with Paris Hilton or make the cover of People magazine, but their stories are just as important as the depressing sagas reported in the media. In fact, I would suggest these happy stories are even more important because they provide us with laughter, hope and inspiration.
In our upcoming book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within, we offer advice on how to develop an optimistic viewpoint. If javelina can work together to make a difference, than just imagine what human beings can do.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Happy Trails to You
Someone asked the Dali Lama how he reduced stress in his life. One would think the answer would be esoteric, or so impossibly spiritual that regular folks wouldn’t be able to do it. His answer (and I’m paraphrasing) is he leaves early for appointments.
While it is true he doesn’t have to worry about a lot of things – like what to wear – the man has a busy schedule. How could leaving early for appointments reduce stress? So, I decided to follow this simple advice. My normal routine for a morning appointment on the other side of town would be to determine the time it would take me to get there, and maybe an extra minute or two to park the car. After I come up with that number, I calculate how long it takes me to eat breakfast, read the paper, do morning prayers, take a shower, get dressed, fix my hair and put on my makeup.
Assuming there are no mishaps (spilled coffee, an unexpected phone call etc) I go through my routine and I have time to spare. So my normal thought is, “I have time, let me check my email.” Or, “Maybe I should clean the rabbit’s cage before I go.” There’s always something I can do, or some way I can multi-task my way through my morning. Before I know it, I’m either running late, or I’m on time, but have left no leeway for an unforeseen problem.
In my old routine, as I begin my drive I’m already worried that I should have left a little earlier. I love to sleep, so I base my “getting ready” calculations according to the average (or minimum) time I need to get where I’m going. Most of the time, I arrive to my destination right on time. Of course I always forget it takes time to get from the parking lot to the office, so I wind up dashing to the door. I consider it my version of cardio exercise. A really organized person would have built in time to exercise, but hey, I’m a work in process.
But back to my typical drive to an appointment. About six minutes into my commute I am ready to merge onto the freeway. “Hmm,” I think to myself, “I am probably a couple minutes behind schedule. No problem, I can make it up.” I decide to drive a little faster. Not speeding exactly, at least not much. But I am navigating the highway more aggressively than I would have if I had built a little cushion of time into the process, or stuck to my plan to leave 15 minutes earlier.
Before I know it, the traffic is backed up, the radio is blaring annoying music, and all the commercials are driving me mad. To make matters worse, I’m stuck behind some wahoo from Nebraska who is leisurely driving his Cadillac like he’s plowing a row of corn. I’m murmuring obscenities and angry at all the cars on the road blocking me from my destination. It feels like the world is out to get me and make me late for my appointment. But who is really to blame? Now I’m exaggerating this scenario a bit, but does any of it seem familiar?
Now let’s consider the Dali Lama’s alternative. We build in an extra 30 minutes – okay 15 minutes – and we stick to the plan. We leave with plenty of time to spare. And because we Americans hate to waste time by arriving too early, we bring a book or magazine to read once we have arrived at our destination. Can you imagine what a more enlightened journey would be like? Since I have done this, I can tell you that the drive is more pleasant (with or without chanting), the other drivers don’t seem like goof balls anymore, and because of the extra time factor and the fact that my brain isn’t in panic mode, I usually remember to bring a couple nice cd’s to listen to on the way. It’s a simple change in routine, but what a difference!
When Jackie and I wrote our upcoming book, “Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within” we wanted to concentrate on simple things people can do to make their lives a little easier. We’re not saints, sages or enlightened. We’re two women who have learned (and are continuing to learn) from our bad habits and want to help others. Some of the best changes we can make are simple. But don’t take my word for. Ask the Dali Lama.
Namaste,
Sally
While it is true he doesn’t have to worry about a lot of things – like what to wear – the man has a busy schedule. How could leaving early for appointments reduce stress? So, I decided to follow this simple advice. My normal routine for a morning appointment on the other side of town would be to determine the time it would take me to get there, and maybe an extra minute or two to park the car. After I come up with that number, I calculate how long it takes me to eat breakfast, read the paper, do morning prayers, take a shower, get dressed, fix my hair and put on my makeup.
Assuming there are no mishaps (spilled coffee, an unexpected phone call etc) I go through my routine and I have time to spare. So my normal thought is, “I have time, let me check my email.” Or, “Maybe I should clean the rabbit’s cage before I go.” There’s always something I can do, or some way I can multi-task my way through my morning. Before I know it, I’m either running late, or I’m on time, but have left no leeway for an unforeseen problem.
In my old routine, as I begin my drive I’m already worried that I should have left a little earlier. I love to sleep, so I base my “getting ready” calculations according to the average (or minimum) time I need to get where I’m going. Most of the time, I arrive to my destination right on time. Of course I always forget it takes time to get from the parking lot to the office, so I wind up dashing to the door. I consider it my version of cardio exercise. A really organized person would have built in time to exercise, but hey, I’m a work in process.
But back to my typical drive to an appointment. About six minutes into my commute I am ready to merge onto the freeway. “Hmm,” I think to myself, “I am probably a couple minutes behind schedule. No problem, I can make it up.” I decide to drive a little faster. Not speeding exactly, at least not much. But I am navigating the highway more aggressively than I would have if I had built a little cushion of time into the process, or stuck to my plan to leave 15 minutes earlier.
Before I know it, the traffic is backed up, the radio is blaring annoying music, and all the commercials are driving me mad. To make matters worse, I’m stuck behind some wahoo from Nebraska who is leisurely driving his Cadillac like he’s plowing a row of corn. I’m murmuring obscenities and angry at all the cars on the road blocking me from my destination. It feels like the world is out to get me and make me late for my appointment. But who is really to blame? Now I’m exaggerating this scenario a bit, but does any of it seem familiar?
Now let’s consider the Dali Lama’s alternative. We build in an extra 30 minutes – okay 15 minutes – and we stick to the plan. We leave with plenty of time to spare. And because we Americans hate to waste time by arriving too early, we bring a book or magazine to read once we have arrived at our destination. Can you imagine what a more enlightened journey would be like? Since I have done this, I can tell you that the drive is more pleasant (with or without chanting), the other drivers don’t seem like goof balls anymore, and because of the extra time factor and the fact that my brain isn’t in panic mode, I usually remember to bring a couple nice cd’s to listen to on the way. It’s a simple change in routine, but what a difference!
When Jackie and I wrote our upcoming book, “Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within” we wanted to concentrate on simple things people can do to make their lives a little easier. We’re not saints, sages or enlightened. We’re two women who have learned (and are continuing to learn) from our bad habits and want to help others. Some of the best changes we can make are simple. But don’t take my word for. Ask the Dali Lama.
Namaste,
Sally
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The Kid and the Ego
I have weird dreams. It would be easy if I just forgot about them, but I’m always trying to analyze their meaning. My spouse says these weird dreams are just dust in the corner of my mind. Maybe. But I think subconscious and spiritual messages try to leak through when my defenses are napping.
The other day I dreamed I was on a mystical journey. I walked past a house where there were seminars, workshops and other spiritual messages being taught. It was a small house, but it had a great reputation. The owner of the house walked me to a nearby body of water. It was supposed to be a lake, but it seemed more like an ocean. I walked onto the pier. Huge waves were building and water was splashing hard onto the pier and the surrounding wall.
The woman who owned the house encouraged me to keep going, that the storms were nothing to worry about. I was less than enthusiastic. In fact I turned around and headed back. I put my hands on the wall so I wouldn’t fall down. She cautioned me that the walls had spiders. I didn’t care (nor did I believe her). The huge waves seemed a lot more menacing. And with the exception of Black Widows or a Brown Recluse, I’m not afraid of spiders.
The dream morphed and I was in an orphanage. I saw several babies and felt such a desire to help them. The storm approached the building and smacked the windows. Water seeped through and the room filled with water. However, rather than being afraid, I went to the children, many who were submerged in water, and brought them to safety. I remember feeling calm and focused. I worked hard in my efforts and knew I would be successful.
When I awoke, I wondered what the dream symbolized. Why was I afraid when I was standing on the pier, but not when I was helping the orphans? It answered an internal struggle I have been having regarding my altruistic nature and my ego.
I have been visualizing success. There’s nothing wrong with that, right? But when I moved away from my main goal to help others and let my ego get too engrossed in the rewards of my service, my heart and best intentions were knocked off kilter. I was focusing way too much on agents, publishers, promoting our book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within, and not enough about the message I want to get out.
I feel we are all at our best when we strive to help others and help make the world a better place to live. It takes courage to battle the ego and help others. In my dream, I was afraid for my own life, but when the focus was on helping all those defenseless children, I was strong.
Some would say this whole episode was just a dream. I beg to differ. I think it was a subconscious call to action to fight my ego and focus on more altruistic pursuits. With apologies to Freud about the id, ego and superego, for me, saving kids, helping others and battling my ego makes a lot more sense.
The other day I dreamed I was on a mystical journey. I walked past a house where there were seminars, workshops and other spiritual messages being taught. It was a small house, but it had a great reputation. The owner of the house walked me to a nearby body of water. It was supposed to be a lake, but it seemed more like an ocean. I walked onto the pier. Huge waves were building and water was splashing hard onto the pier and the surrounding wall.
The woman who owned the house encouraged me to keep going, that the storms were nothing to worry about. I was less than enthusiastic. In fact I turned around and headed back. I put my hands on the wall so I wouldn’t fall down. She cautioned me that the walls had spiders. I didn’t care (nor did I believe her). The huge waves seemed a lot more menacing. And with the exception of Black Widows or a Brown Recluse, I’m not afraid of spiders.
The dream morphed and I was in an orphanage. I saw several babies and felt such a desire to help them. The storm approached the building and smacked the windows. Water seeped through and the room filled with water. However, rather than being afraid, I went to the children, many who were submerged in water, and brought them to safety. I remember feeling calm and focused. I worked hard in my efforts and knew I would be successful.
When I awoke, I wondered what the dream symbolized. Why was I afraid when I was standing on the pier, but not when I was helping the orphans? It answered an internal struggle I have been having regarding my altruistic nature and my ego.
I have been visualizing success. There’s nothing wrong with that, right? But when I moved away from my main goal to help others and let my ego get too engrossed in the rewards of my service, my heart and best intentions were knocked off kilter. I was focusing way too much on agents, publishers, promoting our book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within, and not enough about the message I want to get out.
I feel we are all at our best when we strive to help others and help make the world a better place to live. It takes courage to battle the ego and help others. In my dream, I was afraid for my own life, but when the focus was on helping all those defenseless children, I was strong.
Some would say this whole episode was just a dream. I beg to differ. I think it was a subconscious call to action to fight my ego and focus on more altruistic pursuits. With apologies to Freud about the id, ego and superego, for me, saving kids, helping others and battling my ego makes a lot more sense.
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