Reactivating My Life's Purpose Each 4th of July

I have a 4^th of July tradition. I enjoy going to barbecues, watching fireworks and other typical holiday celebrations, but my ritual is more contemplative. I spend a few minutes concentrating on how I can use my skills as a writer to help others. 

I don’t remember exactly when I started using Independence Day in this regard, but I DO know it predated my professional writing career which has been going strong for at least 30 years. Well, some years stronger than others. I earned my first paycheck for something I wrote back in 1983 when the Arizona Republic published a story I wrote about an unwanted Christmas tree. I earned a whopping $30, but the pride carried me through many years of pennilessness for my freelance work. No wonder they call it “free.”

I was not becoming rich for my efforts, but I was prolific typing weekly articles for Campus News, the weekly newspaper for Scottsdale Community College and occasional submissions to the Buddhist periodicals the World Tribune and Living Buddhism. I also penned plays, skits, video scripts, screenplays and teleplays.

Eventually I earned a Bachelor’s degree in journalism and was hired by Mesa Parks, Recreation and Cultural Division as a public relations practitioner. It was a part-time position but I cranked out press releases, feature stories, speeches, letters and brochure copy like a machine. I worked with wonderful people and enjoyed putting my skills to good use for eight years. 

One of the benefits of working for the city is that I could see the direct results my words had in making the community a better place. I wrote about the wonderful events, classes, volunteer opportunities and programs MPRCD offered, people read or heard the news via newspaper, radio or TV and came out in droves to enjoy them. Unfortunately my position was eliminated in spite of glowing performance evaluations. 

Things went downhill after that. My marriage ended and I had a string of writing jobs that didn’t work out. Eventually I took a more stable position working for a local non-profit organization. Unfortunately my writing skills were rarely needed. I felt a part of me died. My attitude must have tanked too, as I eventually was fired from that job as well.

In spite of this setback and hiatus from being a professional scribe, every year on the 4^th of July I reignited my desire to be a writer that would serve humankind. Unbeknownst to those around me, I would launch my wishes into the universe and wait for the brilliant burst of color in the night sky to remind me that my desires could burst forth into reality if I could remain steadfast in my commitment.

My Independence Day ritual predated The Secret, the Abraham series and What the Bleep Do You Know. However, my issue was I didn’t hold onto the dream long enough. Once a year does not an expert make. Eventually I read (and even co-wrote) books and articles on creating a positive attitude and fulfilling your life’s ambitions. To date my most successful work was penning the popular self-help book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within (with fellow author Jacqueline Howard.)  Nothing is more gratifying than knowing something I created has improved the life of another person.

But I’m human and sometimes take a stroll on the grouchy side of life. At times I wonder if the words I write have any impact, I worry my expertise as a public relations expert and professional writer will no longer be enough to pay the bills, as well as any number of negative thoughts that can swirl in and out of my consciousness. Fortunately I’ve trained myself not to wander down that rabbit hole of negativity for any length of time. It’s like exposing ourselves to radiation – a little might be necessary at times, but too much is toxic.

Fortunately today is the 4^th of July – my day to rewrite my personal history. Holidays are great reminders of important dates and people in our lives. It doesn’t matter if the holiday is secular or non secular, all have value.

You may or may not want to read my articles, book or adopt my practice of using the 4^th of July to remind yourself to launch or reactivate your life’s purpose. But in the words of my father (imagine a Yiddish accent when reading the next four words) “What could it hurt?”

Interdependence Day

I was in San Francisco for the 4th of July this year. My spouse, CB, and I staked out a small plot of ground near the Bay to watch the fireworks. It was cool and crowded, but I was filled with anticipation. We listened to a live band and watched the hordes of people and pups that came out to celebrate our nation’s birthday.

We pulled up to San Francisco the Sunday before. As we approached our neighborhood the last remnants of the Pride Festival that had taken place that weekend were being removed. However, the court house was still bathed in an array of lights and rainbow flags wafted in the breeze in honor of the celebration. The mood was joyous for the GBLT community and their supporters fresh from hearing the Supreme Court ruling that ended California’s ban on same-sex marriage and struck down the discriminatory Defense of Marriage Act earlier that week.

Now my spouse and I were gathered among a throng of Americans sitting near the proverbial dock of the bay awaiting a fireworks display. I don’t like crowds. In fact I’m a bit claustrophobic, but since it is rare that I get to celebrate Independence Day in a balmy environment, I decided I could endure the crowds for a few hours.

We knew what to expect. CB’s co-workers, and the friendly cashier at Trader Joe’s informed us that the festivities were impressive, but the crowds were daunting. We had walked some five miles earlier that day and enjoyed a bright, sunny day meandering through the city, walking alongside a stream of cars ready to descend Lombard’s crooked street, popped into the Maritime Museum, chatted with a woman about America’s cup and then through the park on our way toward a bus stop near the Golden Gate Bridge.

We boarded a crowded bus (standing room only) and rolled along to within a few blocks of the studio apartment we were staying at for CB’s temporary assignment. We were both exhausted from our long walk. Once we entered our small apartment we fell into a deep sleep. It would have been easy to blow off the festivities and give in to nocturnal bliss (and give my aching dogs a respite) but I really wanted to enjoy a fireworks display in less than the triple digit heat that I had become accustomed to in Arizona.

The buses were even more crowded than before, so I forgot about the $2 I had stuck into my pocket for bus fare and we followed the throng of folks walking to the event. We arrived shortly before 9 p.m. and the place was jammed with people of every conceivable background. A young father in dred locks and his boisterous son sat in front of us, a Korean family sat to our left and several young men stood behind us, happily chatting in a mixture of Spanish and English.

At 9:30 p.m. the first fireworks were launched in sync with a variety of patriotic music. Further down the bay, a simultaneous display of sight and sound filled the air. The fireworks were awe inspiring. Everyone was silent except for the ahs and ohs and occasional bursts of applause at the spectacle.

I looked across the bay and thought of the thousands of people around me. People of all ethnicities, ages, religions and sexual orientation gathered peacefully together in very close quarters without a single fight. Even though I do not like being in a crowd, I thought it was a mild inconvenience compared to what my Swedish grandmother must have endured during her long boat passage to Ellis Island. How I wish I would have asked her more about her journey. What did my paternal grandfather and his elderly mother think as they exited the pogroms in Russia to find their way to Canada, and eventually the U.S. to begin a new life?

I am a second generation American on three sides of my family and potential DAR member on my maternal grandfather’s side. Yet I know I am the product of ancestors who faced great hardships to settle in this magnificent country. Most of the time it is something I take for granted. But sitting in the diverse crowd I thought of how grateful I was to be an American. As I looked around me I had new respect for the people surrounding me who, despite individual differences, wanted the same things I did.

Truth be known, we admire our individuality, but we cannot exist without each other. From the farmer who grows our food, the bus drivers who drive us to our destinations, the police officers directing traffic, to the sanitation workers hauling away our garbage, all have an important role in our lives.

As CB and I headed homeward and followed the throng through the streets (again the buses were too crowded and we had to hoof it) I thought of how this 4th of July would be forever etched into the hearts of the GLBT community. Although there is more work to be done, definitive steps have been taken in guaranteeing the rights of all Americans.

I am truly grateful to be an American. I may not always be at peace with the prejudice and hatred that still exists in the hearts of so many, but after spending a few days in San Francisco during a very historic week, I am hopeful we can attain the life, liberty and pursuit of happiness that is promised to us in our constitution.

On July 4th we celebrate our independence from Britain. My hope for the future is that we take a look around at our fellow human beings who silently take a role in our lives and recognize and honor our interdependence to one another. Then, and only then, will we truly be the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Independence Day and the Pursuit of Happiness

Today is July 4th or Independence Day in the USA. One of my favorite phrases in the Declaration of Independence is: “Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” I am not alone in my admiration. Wikipedia states that this line is considered by some as one of most well crafted, influential sentences in the history of the English language.

It is ironic that we Americans are one of the richest nations in the world, we enjoy freedoms that others can only dream about, we have boundless opportunities, yet most of us are unhappy. We may be in “pursuit” of happiness, but actually achieving it seems a frustrating and elusive endeavor.

My friend and co-author, Jackie and I believe that negativity is at the root of most folk’s misery. We wanted to do something to reverse this pessimistic trend so we wrote a book entitled Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. This self-improvement novel IS a good start toward embracing a happier life, but it doesn’t have ALL the answers. In fact Jackie and I do not have all the answers either. However, I’m always open to learning more about creating a joyful life.

That is why today’s article focuses on a conversation I had with my friend and Myoho Sister, Karen. Karen and I are both SGI Buddhists. Through the years we have encouraged one another. On July 3 we were leaving a meeting and Karen shared some guidance that she read from our organization’s International President, Daisaku Ikeda. It had to do with winning and losing. We all have goals we want to achieve whether it is landing a job, overcoming health issues or finding the perfect mate. In my limited thinking I had previously believed I only “won” when I achieved my goals. Through the years I have won some and lost some. A valuable lesson that Karen shared with me is it is not the goal so much as defeating the elements in my life that are preventing my happiness that should be my true objective.

In Buddhist philosophy obstacles to our happiness are not the circumstances but the mindset and actions we take. When we engage in defeatist thoughts, speech and actions we are letting our internal negativity (or innate darkness) take over. This negativity can take various forms. For some it may be laziness, guilt, greed, pride or anger. Others may choose a numbing experience and turn to a temporary fix such as alcohol or drugs. None of these tactics bring true happiness.

Another way to circumvent joy and traipse down the road of misery is to place your happiness exclusively on attaining a specific outcome.. That is not to say that we should not have goals. I’m a firm believer in them. However, the real trick is finding out what is stopping us from becoming happy and working to eliminate that faulty thinking and behavior.

For instance, I have a goal to pray each day. Since I’m Buddhist, my prayer is chanting the words Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. I do this religiously, but the sincerity, length of time etc fluctuates. In my faulty thinking I have thought that I’m only a “good Buddhist” if I chant a lot and what I’m chanting for comes true. We call this actual proof. When I’m unsuccessful (which is often because I have a lot of things I want to achieve) I feel like I finished last in the human race.

However, my friend Karen reminded me that a true victory is making the effort, not achieving the result. Every time I pray, write, exercise or do any of the things that infuses a little joy in my life, I am victorious. After all, I could be watching television, eating chocolate, or taking a nap, but instead I am making an effort. In essence, at that particular moment I am victorious over one of my weaknesses – laziness. Rather than focus on guilt on what I should be doing more often, I should rejoice that I have defeated my lazy nature (for the time being) and I am victorious in the moment. Unfortunately there are times when I’m making progress, but rather than rejoicing in my efforts, I let guilt or other unseemly thoughts enter my brain.

No one is perfect. No matter how hard we try at various things, we cannot always have the result we want. However, we can celebrate our positive causes. The more we rejoice, the more we will WANT to make the effort. It doesn’t matter if these positive efforts are two minutes a day or 12 hours. Every good action is a start toward a happier existence.

In conclusion, I invite all of you to engage in a different type of independence day. Take a holiday from guilt. Instead, make efforts toward your pursuit of happiness. But remember the message Karen reminded me about from President Ikeda. Real joy stems from defeating your inner darkness and letting your happiness shine through no matter what your circumstances bring.