Remembering 9-11

Last year I wrote a special blog for the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. The message bears repeating so I'm posting it again.

Our nation recently commemorated the 10-year anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. It is a day that is forever etched in our collective consciousness. Who doesn’t remember where they and what they did when they heard the shattering news and saw the painful and horrifying images?

There have been a myriad of plaques, memorials, flags, news clips, speeches, prayers, rants and outbursts surrounding that fateful day.

There are stories and video clips denoting the pain and suffering, others of respect and gratitude for the heroes who worked to save others, narratives of the few survivors, as well as stories of the family and friends who lost a loved one in one of our nation’s worst tragedies.

What I would like to see in the next 10 years are more stories of healing and humanity. While I believe we have to take measures to ensure our nation’s security, I worry that the most fundamental step, recognizing the importance of our oneness as a people, needs to be fostered.

We so often focus on how we differ from one another that it creates an artificial barrier. We all want to take pride in our uniqueness, but when we use this as a measurement of how we are somehow “better” than someone else, it creates problems. When something or someone is perceived as dissimilar, it becomes so much easier to use that difference as a reason to hate.

Sometimes that hate becomes violent.

Shortly after 9/11 2001, a Sikh man wearing a turban was gunned down. The gunman, Frank Rogue, believed his target was an Arab. The victim, Balbir Singh Sodhi, was a gasoline station owner who emigrated from India. Ironically, the Sikhs are known for their peace-loving nature and beliefs. What makes this even worse, at least for me, this violent act happened in my home town of Mesa, AZ.

As a Buddhist, I believe in the interconnectedness of humankind. Individuals are a microcosm of all of humanity and in the larger scheme, the universe. What we do to others we do to ourselves. Therefore, our actions of healing, compassion and understanding are needed far more than our acts of anger and hatred. While force may have a temporary effect to keep harm at bay, it does little to solve the inherent problem.

Since most of us identify with the things that set us apart from one another, it is difficult to imagine how inner connected we are. One example that illustrates our connectedness is pollution. If there a nuclear accident, the fallout is not contained to that given area. Radiation seeps into the earth and ground water, travels through our rivers, streams and ocean, as well as traveling hundreds and thousands of miles by blowing winds.

In a more humorous analogy I remember a story I heard years ago. A father was trying to bond with his son and decided to take him fishing in a small fishing boat.

The son was in the front of the boat and the father in the back. When they were in the middle of the lake they hit a rock and water gushed near the father’s feet. The son seemed undeterred and even laughed about the situation. The father asked why the boy thought the situation was funny and the boy responded, “Because the leak is in YOUR part of the boat.”

In the next few years I hope we will spend less time focusing on past hurts and put our energy into solving problems by engaging others in heart-felt dialogue and recognizing the humanity in one another. We cannot root out all evil, but we can take steps to heal our planet by recognizing our similarities rather than dwelling on our differences.

A quote by Mushrif–ud-Din Abdullah, a Persian poet wrote a poem that graces the entrance of the Hall of Nation of the UN Building in New York.

Human beings are members of a whole,
In creation of one essence and soul.
If one member is afflicted with pain,
Other members uneasy will remain.
If you have no sympathy for human pain,
The name of human you cannot retain.

Another year has passed. Last year's article suggested that before the 11th anniversary of 9/11 I hope we can report several instances where we were a source of hope and light for humankind and our planet. I have the same plea for the next year and the next and the next.

We share this world with others and it is in our best interest to try to get along. After all, we are all in the same boat.

Stretching Beyond Limitations

My women’s softball team won a decisive victory over the Valle de Oro Valley Girls yesterday. Woo Hoo! In the five years that we have played this team I think we only beat them one time.

After the game we share soft drinks and socialize with the other team. I talked to one of the players and remarked on her speed running the bases. Now mind you, this is a woman who is probably at least 60 years old. We shared tips on how to improve our skills and stay healthy.

This is particularly important to me as I was playing with an aching hamstring. Of course the most important advice to prevent this painful malady (a pulled muscle) is to stretch. I don’t like to stretch. I’ve always enjoyed sports, but I have never been able to touch my toes without bending my knees. Describing my body as inflexible is a gross understatement. I go through the motions of this important warm up (our team always stretches before our games as well as our practices) but I don’t like it. Never have. But now I will put more effort into the process. There’s nothing like a little painful reality to change a habit.

I can’t help but think how stretching before a game, or any time, is a good analogy for life. In order to be your best, you need to prepare. This goes for mental, as well as physical, exercise.

However, most of us have such busy lives that it is easy to forgo the little things that don’t seem 100% necessary for the immediate result we are trying to achieve. In my lifetime, the word “instant” became synonymous with “better.”

But is it?

We want “instant” solutions for our health problems, instant solutions from our leaders, instant weight loss and the list goes on and on. The reality is most of our problems (and that includes our country’s) did not happen over night. Solutions will not happen overnight either.

It’s like my aching hamstring. If I want the muscle to perform well, I need to stretch it. After all, I sit in front of a computer most of the day writing. The most activity it gets is when I scratch it, or take a break to eat or use the bathroom. But when I go out to play ball, I think I’m just going to get out there and run to first base like I did when I was 12 years old. Well, my body laughed at my arrogance and now I have a physical reminder that I need to prepare myself more before I go out and play.

However, stretching doesn’t always apply to physical activity. I recently asked myself, “How often do I resort to the status quo in my thinking, or in other activities in my daily life? Am I extending my reach by pursuing my dreams, expanding my network of friends, acquiring more knowledge, or developing my compassion? Or am I satisfied to go along with the status quo?"

I recently read an article on dialogue by Buddhist Philosopher, Daisaku Ikeda. He recently wrote this on the topic of dialogue in the January 15, 2010 issue of the World Tribune:

“Dialogue is not simply two people asserting their opinions, nor is it just a simple exchange of words. Through conversing, we can gain a shared insight into each other’s point of view and intent. It is also a process of creating something of new and positive value.”

In our book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within, there is a chapter that discusses the importance of dialogue. For many of us, dialogue is a bit of a stretch from how we usually communicate. However, communicating in our old patterns will not bring us the fresh results that most of us want in our relationships and interactions with others.

So think about stretching, both physically, emotionally and when communicating. It will take some time to develop new habits and methods, but happier results are sure to follow. Or, you can ignore my advice and follow my bad example of running around and pulling a muscle. Whether it’s sports or life, why not try a little stretching? You may surprise yourself with what you gain. And all you have to lose is the misery of having (or being) a pain in the backside.