Sock it to Me!

I remember the phrase “sock it to me” from my childhood days in the 1960s. I was a big fan of the television show Rowan and Martin’s “Laugh In.” Now that I’m older I have a different “sock it to me” tradition. Shortly after Thanksgiving I don my Christmas socks. I don’t know why, but this annual event makes me happy.

Last year my holiday stockings were so full of holes that I had to send them to sock heaven to live with all the other socks that disappear from the clothes dryer. Before I let my little tootsie warmers move on to that great sock and underwear drawer in the sky, I bought two replacement pairs. One is black with a red and white leaf design (holly?) and the other is decorated with white snowflakes against a blue sky. 

Of course living in sunny Arizona I rarely see holly wreaths (unless they are plastic) and spotting snowflakes would be a rare occurrence. But I don’t care, it’s officially the holiday season and my Christmas socks are out for all to behold. In fact, due to our warm weather (80 degrees) I’m wearing my socks with shorts making them even more visible than usual.

There would’ve been a time when I would have been too embarrassed to show my socks off to the world. They usually hide under a pair of khaki pants or jeans, but the older I become the less I worry about wardrobe rules. I can just let the world think I’m a golfer. That is the one sport where it is almost a requirement to wear odd color combinations. And what is up with putting  the equivalent of stuffed animals on your clubs? Just saying.

But back to my sock saga.

My love of socks goes back for decades. Maybe it’s because it was one of the few things that were not hand-me-downs from my older sister Diane. I inherited her clothes, but mom drew the line at making me wear Diane’s old socks, underwear and shoes.

When I was in high school I conducted a sock celebration of my own -sockerjacks. My mom packed my lunch and sometimes I would get a box of cracker jacks. Algebra was the class after lunch. I would have the guys who sat near me show off their socks (the girls didn’t participate because we had a dress code and they all wore nylons with their dresses.) Anyway, whoever had the loudest socks would win the crackerjack prize.

Even my algebra teacher, Mr. Reid, participated. In fact he even won the prize on occasion. He was the golf coach and almost always wore a white shirt, tie and dark slacks with white socks, but occasionally  he would show his wild side and don a pair of bright yellow or lime green socks. I never did figure out if he wanted to win the prize or his wife hadn’t gotten around to doing the laundry.

Other participants included Robert Respass and Lynn Sterling, two burly men from the football team, and Curt Hall, who I believe was a wrestler. We had a lot of jocks in this class. Curt was pretty conservative and didn’t win the cracker jack prize too often. I had a big crush on him, but he never asked me out. One of my friends, Julie Heasty, asked him about this. It was obvious to her that he liked me. He admitted to her that he did think I was cute, but we were different religions and that was too big of a bridge to cross in the early 1970s. But I remember feeling better that it was that and not me personally. 

Anyway, now and again I wonder if any of these guys remember my colorful sock contest. It’s a silly thing, but it was a small effort to brighten the day in algebra class. And who doesn’t want a cracker jack prize?

Another sock story is an excerpt from Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within, a book I wrote with my friend, Jacqueline Howard. This snippet is from Chapter Two - Reversing the Downward Spiral of Anger, Alcohol and Abuse.

“We were at a meeting and everyone had to say one thing they were grateful for,” said David.  “One guy was living in a half-way house.  He had been living on the streets.  When it was his turn to share he said he was grateful that he had a clean pair of socks in his drawer.  And he wasn’t kidding.  Having clean socks was a luxury to this guy.  It really made me stop and think about how many things I have in my life to be grateful for.”

Having an attitude of gratitude is a crucial step in developing an optimistic mindset. For those who find it hard to think of something they are grateful for, imagine the opposite - how you would feel if you didn’t have something – or someone in your life? Then turn it around to create an example of something you are grateful for. 

For me, as odd as it seems, I don’t need to experience a sense of lack to feel grateful. I think about my happy socks. For those of you who need more help, here is another excerpt from the book on how to prepare for daily optimism-enhancing exercises. 

EXERCISES 

Before you begin these exercises it always helps to engage spiritual help. Close your eyes and ask God, angels, spirit guides or another divine source to help you maintain calm and in control.  Even if you do not believe in celestial beings, create the image in your mind’s eyes as a tool to help you regain a sense of calm.  Whether real or imagined, these protective beings will always be there to assist you whenever you ask.

If you want to read more, I hope you will check out my book. It’s available in paperback through Amazon and the e-version can be purchased through the smashwords website.

Either way, I hope those who read this will share it with others. And one bit of advice, it is better to share words of wisdom than someone’s smelly socks. And if that isn’t cracker jack advice, I don’t know what is.

 

The ABC's of Gratitude

I was recently on a panel for the blog radio show, Gab with the Gurus. The topic was gratitude. I encourage you to listen in. However, here are a few questions that weren’t asked, but how I would’ve responded if I had the chance.

What Role Does Gratitude Play in Your Life?

Honestly, I wasn’t always a grateful person. I was like a lot of folks who took the good things in my life for granted. My parents tried to instill me with a sense of appreciation, but I was a typical kid, and the middle child to boot, so I was always arguing because I thought my siblings were getting a bigger piece of cake, and I was getting more than my fair share of the yucky liver and onions.

But I enjoyed reading motivational books and gratitude was always a common thread. In fact, it was a sense of gratitude in the messages that I read in other books that finally made me, and my co-author, Jackie decide to write a self-help book. We realized that many individuals had suffered so much in their lives that they would not be able to embrace an optimistic approach, or adopt a sense of gratitude until they eliminated their negative behavior. Trying to be optimistic, or grateful, without addressing daily, negative behavior would be like treating the symptom, but not the cause.


What are Some Ways to Increase Gratitude and Help Others?

I love the line in the Joni Mitchell song, “Don’t it always seem to go, you don’t know what you got til it’s gone.” I came back from two weeks of camping and I have new appreciation for flushing toilets, running water and a nice, comfortable bed.

Back-to-basic camping is a good reminder of the many things we take for granted. Most of us are not going to purposely put ourselves in a position where we lack the things we want and need, but we can put ourselves in situations where we can appreciate what we have by choosing to help those who are less fortunate than we are. For instance, we can volunteer at a soup kitchen, visit an elderly person in a nursing home or become a reader for the visually impaired. There are thousands of opportunities. The benefit is two fold. You not only learn to appreciate things in your life that you previously took for granted, you also have the opportunity to help others and become a source of light in the world.


Name one reason that people are negative and ungrateful?

A sense of entitlement is a big reason, but if you ask the ungrateful folks why they are bitter, they are more likely to tell you they had an unhappy childhood. My observation is people’s perception starts early, and it takes work to shift them into a more grateful mindset. Plus, we are bombarded by negative news. It skews people's thinking. The world is not 100% bad, but the bad stuff is what is getting reported. You have to change your world view a bit to get a more balanced perspective. Good things happen every day. You have to look for them. That’s why gratitude journals and daily affirmations are so important. It’s more than seeing the world through rose-colored glasses. It’s a reality check or balancing technique against the bombardment of negativity in the news.

What are three tips on how to become more grateful?

In the first chapter of my book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within, we begin with having the reader pay attention to their thoughts, speech and actions. Becoming aware is the first step. Once they are aware they can take steps to change their behavior. People have no idea how many negative things they say until they are asked to count them in an hour.

1. Become aware of the problem. A lot of ungrateful people think they are just being realistic.
2. Replace negative or ungrateful behavior with something positive. Instead of whining, do something to correct the situation, even if it’s writing a letter to the editor. The first behavior puts the person in a victim mentality. Taking action, even a small action, puts you in a more empowering mode.
3. Smile. It sounds simplistic, but if you spend one minute in the morning and smile at yourself in the mirror, something changes. If you are grouchy, chances are good the irony of it will make you laugh. And that’s a good thing!

These are a few hints on how to incorporate gratitude and happiness into your life. But don’t stop there, I encourage you to read the many wonderful books that are available on the subject.

The main thing is to do something, anything, to live a more grateful life. You will be so grateful that you did.