Starry, Starry Night

I sat in the hot tub and gazed at the stars above me. I smiled to myself as I thought how the celestial globes DID look like diamonds in the sky, just like the lyrics in Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.

I savored the water jets as they pummeled my aching neck and shoulders. I relished in the simple pleasure of a quiet evening sitting, soaking and star gazing. “So what is the big deal about that?” you may ask. Certainly I have thought the same thing at times. I’ve had a hot tub in the backyard for several years. The stars have twinkled before my birth and will go on sparkling long after I’m dust. However, what was unusual about this encounter is not that I enjoyed myself, but why I hadn’t regaled in this experience more often?

When my spouse, CB, is home, the hot tub is not an overlooked box of water and heavenly bodies are never taken for granted. However, when my nature-loving spouse is traveling and I’m alone, I generally find something else to do rather than partake in the pleasures that exist in my own backyard. I thought about this odd behavior and decided that I cheat myself out of this available indulgence because ...

1. CB isn’t there to enjoy it with me.

2. My muscles aren’t sore so why bother?

So why did I finally enjoy the tub and stars? Did I have some magical moment of insight? Unfortunately I slipped into the tub because my muscles were sore and I was out of IB Profen. But the bigger question is why do I feel have to wait until I have a good reason to enjoy myself in my backyard haven? Is there some Puritanical edict that declares the hot tub is off limits if my muscles are not bound up in knots, my cupboards are stocked with pain reliever and my spouse is out of town?

Of course not.

However, somewhere in my misguided psyche I felt like I had to earn this luxury out of either medicinal or marital need. However, while I have the misguided notion that I have to “deserve” to sit in the hot tub, I do feel that I am free to enjoy a happy life. This has not always been the case. Just as I rationed my smiles and laughter, in the past I put limits on my happiness as well.

Fortunately, I learned that happiness is something we can all enjoy. There are no stipulations. We may put a few self-imposed restrictions on our happiness, but these are restrictions of our own choosing. There is no law that we have to punish ourselves first in order to experience joy in our daily lives.

That is not to say that you should quit your job, refuse to clean your bathroom and simply do what you want regardless of the consequences. Happiness isn’t about a life of hedonistic pleasure and debauchery. It’s about enjoying what there is to enjoy and reducing the unnecessary attachment to negativity that eats away at our souls.

So to reiterate, the first tip in this article is to debunk the notion you have to do the emotional equivalent of 50 pushups before you can smile, laugh or be happy. You earned the right to happiness when you took your first breath. Happiness is your right.

The second roadblock to a more cheerful existence is immersing ourselves in negativity. That is why my friend and co-author Jackie and I wrote Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. Remember, you wouldn’t cuddle a cactus, why would you want to hang on to negativity for dear life? Let it go. If you must hold onto something, embrace happiness.

For more tips, please visit our website, EraseNegativity.com or buy the book through Amazon. If you can't afford to buy it, ask the library to carry it. You can also enter “erase negativity” and find us on you tube. Here is a link on three tips on how to erase negativity

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=208XAm-x3R8

Also, if you are in the mood for a little laugh, please view (and hopefully "like") my video pitch for my pitch to NBC Playground for my sitcom pilot, Fish out of Water.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvoYTqs4yF0

But enough happiness tips for now. There are stars and a hot tub calling my name and I’m ready to enjoy a starry, starry night.

Something to Laugh About

I’m a reformed joker. My gag-telling abilities used to make me the life of the party, but sadly jokes seem to be relegated to the internet these days. Now I’m a rusty. My humor is limited to things I can write about.

The advantage of writing comedy, as opposed to performing it, is you get a chance to fix potential problems without having to worry about someone lobbing a tomato at your head. Although with the cost of fresh produce, perhaps I could save a few bucks and take a basket on stage with me instead of heading off to the local grocery store.
But I digress.

My dream for many years was to write for sitcoms. It started when I was a kid watching reruns of the Dick Van Dyke show. Although Rob Petrie, Sally Rogers and Buddy Sorrell wrote for a fictional comedy/variety show, I was thrilled to learn that comedy writing was a legitimate career.

Unfortunately, I lived in Arizona, not Los Angeles (or even Manhattan where the fictional Alan Brady Show was aired) so my dream of writing for television took a detour. Instead I took a traditional route in writing and pursued a degree in journalism. However, whether I was working my way through school as a waitress at Red Lobster or landed my first job as a public relations coordinator for the City of Mesa’s Parks, Recreation and Cultural Division, I found a way to write humorous skits for special events and celebrations. Some were spoofs from Saturday Night Live, others satirized city employees, but all of the humorous productions were a big hit with the audience. Even in my spiritual life as a Buddhist with SGI-USA, I penned skits that used characters in popular television shows to satirize philosophical messages.

One day I took a trip to LA to scout out the area and see what I would need to do to pursue my television-writing career in earnest. I chatted with a successful sitcom writer and she informed me that it was nearly impossible to work as a sitcom writing in Hollywood after you reached your 40th birthday. She suggested I turn my attention to screenwriting instead. I followed her advice. I’ve written numerous screenplays, but hadn’t written a television episode for a long time. Using logic, rather than tapping into any internal sources of empowerment, I decided to discontinue my goal of writing for a sitcom. This decision took a toll on my psyche. A little piece of me died with the shelving of this dream.

Then one day a concept for an original television show crept into my sleepy, little brain. Unlike other fleeting notions, this one was persistent. I had no choice but to create characters, develop a clever plot and tap the whole thing out on my computer. I didn’t know if my script would find a home, but I was so happy to write comedy again that I didn’t care.

Ironically, I learned about a contest for original pilots and was getting ready to enter. However, while I was doing research I learned about another contest. This one called for writing a spec script for an existing show. My daughter had suggested Modern Family. I watched numerous episodes several times, examined the scripts, and came to know the characters as if they were members of my own goofy family.

The bottom line is I came up with plausible ideas for an episode, had a few friends that were familiar with the show vet it, and I mailed my creation off to be judged. I did all this in the matter of three weeks. To be honest, two months ago I wouldn’t have embarked on this expedition. However, I listened to the inspirational words of Linda Johnson, a national women’s division leader for SGI-USA, and realized I was limiting my potential.

I also reminded myself of a few helpful hints from Chapter 9 of a book written by me and my friend and co-author Jacqueline Howard. Here are a few tips I’d like to share.



ERASE NEGATIVITY

•Clear your mind of negativity and imagine what you really want your life to be like. Allow yourself to feel the joy of realizing your dream.
•Write your negative beliefs on a piece of paper. Read it aloud. Burn a candle, light incense or perform some sort of ceremony, then burn the paper. As the paper burns say aloud. “These statements are no longer true. I release these lies to the universe.” Feel free to allow yourself a moment of sadness. Many individuals cry as they allow these negative thoughts to incinerate.

EMBRACE THE MAGIC WITHIN

•Design a rough plan of what you wish to create. The universe will take care of the details, but you have to have an idea of what you want.
•Once you have your idea in place, write or draw the steps you will need to achieve it. This could be, taking a class, reading books or doing research on the internet. Visualizing is fine, but you have to take some sort of action to kick things into gear.
•No matter how rough things are, remain open to the idea that wonderful things can happen.
•Never, ever, give up on your dreams.

It would be great if this story had a fairy tale ending and I could report that I was selected in this program, but the truth is none of the applicants will know anything for several months. But it doesn’t matter because I feel that I already won. I challenged my doubt (and even common knowledge about Hollywood and ageism) quickly created something I’m proud of and I got my script in the mail before the deadline. And that is a victory in itself!