Send In The Puppy Clouds

I was riding home from the airport and looked out the window. Recent rains had washed the dusty air. The sky was a brilliant blue. I commented on how pretty it was. My daughter, Alicia, and two granddaughters, Rosannah, age 4 and three-year-old Briannah looked out at the brilliant skyscape. Briannah’s attention was drawn to the cumulonimbus clouds overhead.

“Look at the puppy clouds!” Briannah exclaimed.

Rosannah assumed her sister meant “puffy” clouds so she had a great laugh. Briannah was unaffected by the guffaw. In her world they probably did look like one of her favorite things – puppies.

Briannah is quite a character and says things that make us laugh. Recently, when asked if she had to go to the bathroom she replied.
“I don’t have any poops in my butt. I left them at school.”
As a writer, I love words. They can inspire and elevate your mood, expand your mind, or make you laugh. However, they can also be destructive. The following excerpt is from entrepreneur, Ed Daniel Jr. from our book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within.

Ed’s path to success was the same as the principles in many religions – right thought, right speech and right action. One of the areas that proved troublesome in many of Ed’s businesses – particularly the beauty salons – was right speech.

“I absolutely will not tolerate gossip,” said Ed. “I remember once when I was a young man, I started complaining about one of my bosses. My dad stopped me cold and said, “don’t take a man’s money and then talk bad about him.” The same is true about anyone in the workplace. You have to respect one another. Gossip is like a poison. If I hear that an employee is gossiping about another, I give them a strict warning, maybe two. If they do it a third time, they’re out the door.”

Janet, who works as an educator for the same chain of beauty schools that Ed owns, agrees.

“Gossip is not only hurtful, it’s destructive,” said Janet. “Criticism and gossip stops any work environment from being a positive, joyful, fun, fulfilling experience. We can be having a wonderful time at our jobs, then one negative or critical person walks in and everyone seems to follow the negative, feeding frenzy. It’s like inviting ants to a picnic. Unfortunately, what follows is the whole environment turns negative. We find ourselves agreeing with, and even adding to the gossip and criticism that is being tossed about. From there it spreads and fuels the fire of dissention – often beyond repair.”

Janet offered this advice for turning the tide of gossip in the workplace.
“We each have an obligation to stop this vicious cycle of negativity and destruction. When we catch ourselves being critical or wanting to gossip, we need to stop and refuse to allow ourselves to fall into that trap. We may have to work on this for the rest of our lives as the programming is strong and society as a whole tends to be negative. We have to choose not to participate or associate with the people that seem to thrive on the negative side of life. We have to learn to say, “I'm sorry you feel the way you do, but I really can't let your negative attitude interfere with my joy and happiness.” It may be hard at first, but when you hear gossip, you need to have the courage to stop it, or at the very least, learn to walk away.”

If there is a general problem in the workplace, then a person should have the compassion and courage to address it with the individual in question. This can’t happen if you are spreading rumors behind someone’s back.

Here are a few tips on how to reduce negative speech from your life.

ERASE NEGATIVITY

•Don’t gossip about others. Before you speak, imagine the person you are talking about is standing right next to you listening to what you have to say. If you wouldn’t have the courage to say it to their face, or would be embarrassed for them to hear your opinion, don’t say it.

•Be mindful of your intention when you speak or act. Before you say something, imagine someone said the same thing about you. Would you find this information helpful or hurtful? If you wouldn’t feel good hearing it, they probably won’t either. However, if there is something important that needs to be said, try communicating in a compassionate, not authoritarian, manner.

EMBRACE THE MAGIC WITHIN

•Be aware of your thoughts and actions. Think of every good thing you do as dropping a golden coin in a bank, and for every negative cause, you need to take a coin out. At the end of the day, think of how you’re doing and what you need to do to increase your positive behavior.

•When you communicate with others, imagine that your words are going directly from your heart to their heart. The same holds true when you are listening. When you do this, you will find your interactions will be more compassionate. If you find you cannot communicate with someone from that “heartfelt” place, try again when you are in better spirits.

Remember, we can use our words to hurt or to heal. Rabindranath Tagore once said, “Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.”

We don’t need to be poets or philosophers to use our words to inspire others. Thanks to Briannah I don’t think I’ll ever look at the sky and not think of “puppy clouds” and how the very thought of it makes my imaginary tail wag with joy.

Strawberry Fields Forever?

I am trying my hand at gardening. The IDEA of backyard horticulture has appealed to me for a long time. Unfortunately aspiration and execution are two different things. My lone attempt at growing my own vegetables is embarrassing. We had a big yard and I thought my baby daughter, Alicia, deserved pesticide-free, home-grown veggies. With health in mind and hoe in hand I trotted off to become an Arizona version of Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow? And contrary I soon became. The first problem was the ground was like cement. In fact I learned it WAS cement or caliche, a natural form of concrete. After a few attempts at hacking away at the anvil-like soil, I asked my husband, John, to ready the area by digging it up and creating rows. I, of course, would do the rest. My memory is hazy, but I think he not only tilled the soil he probably did most of the planting too. No problem, I would pull the weeds and water. Again, I have a little historical amnesia. I remember pulling some stringy weeds, but maybe John wound up assuming the watering duties too. At any rate, when it was time for our harvest our bounty consisted of two snow pea sprigs and a bunch of radishes. Planting radishes was John’s idea. I think radishes are nasty so of course they proliferated like bunnies on a holiday. In retrospect, I was young and did not have a realistic idea (or attitude) about the work a garden would entail. I thought I’d throw a few seeds out there, squirt them with a hose and something would magically happen. Well, something did – a plethora of nasty radishes. However, since John did most of the work it only seems fair he could eat his bountiful root vegetables with relish (or mustard?) I know I’d have to put something on it to make it edible for MY taste buds. Now I live in the Pacific Northwest. The ground is soft and rich. The owners of the house where I now reside not only planted a garden, they put a fence around it to keep the munching deer at bay. When I first moved in I noted a few weeds in the garden, but I thought I could handle it. I just needed a nice sunny day to get started. Problem numero uno. Waiting for a sunny day in this neck of the woods is like waiting for hell to freeze over in Phoenix. While I bided my time rain came and weeds followed. During this interim I traveled to Arizona for my high school reunion. When I returned a week later my garden became a field of dandelions! So now I have to pull weeds before I can plant. These weeds are actually kind of pretty, but they are weeds none-the-less and they will not help my garden grow. It reminds me of negativity. People have all sorts of reasons for having uncharitable thoughts, speech and actions. Many pessimistic individuals claim that while a negative outlook may provide fewer positive results, it also protects them from disappointment. Unfortunately, negativity is more like a cancer than a protective shield. It starts small, and may seem innocent enough at first, but if not minimized, it can grow out of control. Waiting for the right time to change your grouchy tendencies is not in your best interest either. Manure may be good for the soil, but a poopy attitude is not and neither is procrastination. It’s like my experience with my weedy garden. So what can we do about it? Let’s take this example a step further. Imagine each negative thought you have is a crabgrass, curly dock or broadleaf plantain. Sometimes weeds can look like the beginning of a “good plant” so you may be hesitant to pull that puppy out. However, weeds, like negativity, become easier to identify with time. Once you make a conscious effort you will recognize the culprit, pull it out by the roots and substitute bad thinking with better thinking. Or in the gardening world, substitute crabgrass for something tastier such as my all-time favorite fruit - strawberries. Whether it’s reducing grouchy thoughts, speech and actions or battling the urge to procrastinate, creating a happier life is a lot like gardening. It takes work, but the rewards are worth the struggle. Speaking of struggle, as I write this article he sun is peaking out and my garden beckons. It’s time to do a weed purge. And as I pull each offending plant out by the roots I will try not to curse the earth I hope will nourish me. I have no one to blame for this mess but myself. And after all my hard work is done and a necessary amount of time has passed, I will be well on my way to (forgive me John, George, Paul and Ringo) strawberry fields forever.