Half Off Happiness

Happiness is half off. As co-authors of the book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within, Jackie and I are offering 50% off the cover price of our popular, self-help ebook. We also offering discounts to organizations booking presentations on the Erase Negativity topic.
The ebook, normally $6.99, will be offered for $3.50 through July 6. Customers must log on to http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/11183 and enter the code LU574. The paperback version will be discounted from $14.99 to $10 plus shipping for those who contact the distributor directly at www.erasenegativity.com.
“They say you can’t put a price on happiness, but you can offer discounts to help the process along,” said Marks. “For those who cannot afford to purchase the book, I’m encouraging folks to request their local libraries to carry it and I will offer discounts to them as well.”

Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within is a practical guide on how to reduce negativity and embrace happiness. From meth addicts to multi-millionaires, the book offers powerful experiences of individuals who have faced dramatic challenges, but did not lose hope. Using these compelling biographies, as well as practical advice and simple exercises, the reader is guided on an internal journey toward adopting a more joyful way to live.

In addition to being an author, Marks is the president of Marks Public Relations, a public relations agency specializing in the promotion of small businesses. The award-winning journalist, comedy writer and author graduated with honors from the Walter Cronkite School of Journalism at Arizona State University and has published numerous articles and stories in local, regional and national publications.
For more information call MPR at 480-664-3004 or email markspr@cox.net.

The Crossed-eyed Optimist

When I was six weeks old my mother noticed my right eye turned in. I think I was checking out my nose. People stick their faces close to a baby’s and I saw some real honkers on some of the folks who were cooing at me. My guess is I wanted to make sure I didn’t grow a Pinnochio schnoozola in the middle of MY countenance.

Fortunately, I didn’t. A small beak has graced my punim for more than five decades. Unfortunately my lazy eye stuck with me. Two surgeries later and my crossed eye (a condition known as strabismus) is not as noticeable, but it is there. Rather than fight it, I decided to embrace it.

The cross-eyed optimist has a unique way of looking at things and I want to share that with you.

As many self-help authors and philosophers have stated, it’s not what happens to you, but rather your attitude about what happens that matters. It makes me think of that joke about the kid who wanted a pony for Christmas. The child was an extreme optimist and no matter how many times his parents told the boy they could not afford a pony the child never lost hope. Finally, in disgust, the child’s older brother wrapped up a box of horse manure. When the little optimist opened the stinky present instead of being upset he was absolutely gleeful. He excitedly exclaimed, “I found the poop, now all I have to do is find the pony that goes with it.”

This analogy is usually meant as a slam against optimism, but I find the story encouraging. And whenever I think of it I hope that somewhere a hopeful boy or girl is getting the pony they wished for, even if they don’t get it until they are old enough to buy one and shovel the poop themselves.

My world view has always been a bit skewed. Due to my strabismus I never developed depth perception. My mother noticed something was wrong when I was a baby and I would reach for an object and miss it on the first and sometimes second attempts. This became more obvious when I was learning to drink from a cup. I would invariably knock the glass over. But, the good parents that they were, they never yelled at me about the spilled milk.




In time I learned to adapt. I occasionally bump into things, but I can drink milk without wearing it (most of the time) hit a tennis ball, catch a softball, play golf and perform a variety of tasks without anyone being the wiser. Driving a car is probably the most difficult task I cope with my lack of depth perception. However, once again I’ve dealt with the issue. I have learned to be cautious, courteous and give other drivers plenty of room. Tailgaiting is absolutely out of the question.

The outward appearance of living life with strabismus was more problematic. People would comment about it, some kids teased me, and others simply asked if I was looking at them or not. I got in the habit of avoiding eye contact with folks (something I’m still working on.) Much to my chagrin the “turned in” eye became even more pronounced in pictures. I adapted by acting like a clown, especially when a camera was in sight. It is rare to find a picture of me when I’m younger where I’m not sporting a silly rubber-face pose only Jerry Lewis or Jim Carey would admire.

However, what had been a setback became the impetus for me to develop my sense of humor. I learned how to tell a joke before I toddled off to school. I gained more empathy for others who were “different” whether that meant befriending boys and girls of color, different religions or those who had physical or mental disabilities. Many of these childhood acquaintances are still my loyal friends more than 45 years later.

My ability to tell and create original jokes morphed into expertise to create stories with comedic overtones. I don’t make funny faces at the camera any more (for the most part.) However, I can still pull a few goofy stunts out of my hat. My quacking Donald Duck sneeze is still a favorite with my granddaughters. They laugh and say, “Grandma, you’re silly.” Hey better to sound like a duck than look like a duck.

I can’t say that I’m happy I was born with a lazy eye. I was relieved neither of my daughters inherited this trait, nor did my granddaughters. However, they have been exposed to my slightly skewed view of the world and take joy in what I’ve learned from the experience. They embrace diversity in their friendships, they are compassionate and they never tailgate while driving. They’re still working on the Donald Duck sneeze.

The bottom line is we are all unique. We can curse our perceived deficiencies or use it as a catalyst for self growth. I think Roald Dahl said it best.




“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”

Do Overs! Do Overs!

Do you remember when you were young, made a mistake in a game and asked for “do overs?” That’s what it felt like when I recently listened to an interview I had on The Author’s Show, http://www.theauthorsshow.com/

I knew this particular interview had a broader audience than my past interviews and I was both excited and nervous about it. My apprehension was because the interview was scheduled when I would be camping in Port Townsend, WA. I didn’t want to delay the interview any longer as the September 2010 airing would coincide nicely with the release of the paperback version of my book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. The catch was I had to do the interview on a land line, not my cell phone.

There was a pay phone near our camping site on Point Hudson Marina. I scoped the phone out. It worked. Not an easy feat these days. You try finding a working pay phone. However, it was noisy at the harbor. The search continued. I called the library and a very helpful librarian suggested I use the pay phone in front of their historic building. The interview was to take place on a weekday morning and she thought everything would work out fine.

The next day I cheerfully walked to the library, pulled out my trusty calling card and began the interview. A woman approached the library entrance with her puppy while the interview was in progress. She attempted to tie the dog to a bike rack and go inside for a few minutes. The poor pup had separation anxiety and whined and cried and barked. This was happening a few feet from where I was recording over the phone. Then a noisy truck rumbled past, followed by three very loud, friendly women who were having some sort of reunion.

I was getting anxious. My dream is to be a summer resident of Port Townsend one day and I did not relish the idea of asking the whiny dog’s owner and the chatty women to relocate to another area. Of course I had no control over the trucks rumbling past. “I thought this was a quiet town?” I thought to myself. “No,” I recalled, “It’s a friendly town. And these folks are just going about their day. You are the intruder here.”

Anyway, I did talk to the woman with the pup and she graciously stayed with the pooch until after my interview was through. I believe there is only one time when you can hear the little dog whine.

Which leads me to my point. Through the magic of editing, this interview sounds excellent. Most of the noise was edited out, the volume of my voice and that of the interviewer’s are clear, have matching volume, and everything flowed nicely.

It made me think of my childhood requests of “do overs.”

In real life we cannot edit our mistakes and pretend all is well. However, we can examine our thoughts, speech and actions and learn to recognize where negativity has set in, then make steps to replace the undesirable acts with positive ones.

No one is born negative. It is a learned response. Erase Negativity takes the viewpoint that if negativity is learned, than erasing it and replacing it with a constructive and affirmative life pattern can be learned as well.

So while we can’t exactly have a “do over” we can implement a little editing in our lives. In the interview I outline three simple steps toward erasing negativity.

• Recognize there is a problem. It is estimated human beings have 40,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day and 95% of them are negative.

• Try replacing negative thoughts with positive affirmations or determinations. Instead of saying “I must lose weight,” or “I’m too fat” say “I chose health and vitality.” Soon your brain will get the message and you will be open to new, healthier patterns you can adopt into action.

• Smile. Yes, it sounds corny, but it works. Practice smiling in front of a mirror for one minute, even (and especially) if you are not feeling happy. The good news is the irony of smiling when you’re upset can be so absurd that you may actually laugh. I know it works for me.

So why not try a little rebroadcasting of your life. Edit those negative thoughts, speech and actions and create a whole, new happier way to live.
For additional tips, be sure to check out the ebook at http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/11183 and please tell your friends.
Also, be sure to keep checking out the blog to find out when paperback edition of the book will be released. I should have the final proof any day!

How Can You Embrace the Magic Within?

In a recent interview I was asked, “What can people do to embrace the magic within?”

Embrace the Magic Within is the subtitle of my book. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting this question (I’m new at being on the receiving end of an interview after all!) The short response is the two main components are to:

A: Erase negativity.
B: Develop a grateful attitude.

The media expects sound bites and I’m used to lengthier responses, but that IS the long and short of it - erase negativity and develop an attitude of gratitude. The dilemma is “embracing the magic within” is more of a journey than a final destination. For the sour pusses of the world, it requires a shift in thought. It can happen in a nano second, develop over a lifetime, or never happen at all.

It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by Confucius:

Watch your thoughts they become your words.
Watch your words they become your actions.
Watch your actions they become your habits.
Watch your habits they become your character.
Watch your character it becomes your destiny.

The good news is that when you expect magical experiences, they have a way of manifesting on a regular basis. For instance, a couple of nights ago my spouse and I were in the backyard. Our “night time backyard adventures” resulted in our spying a tiny mouse, a baby bunny, and a toad lurking near our backyard pond.

Then we heard a crunching sound. CB pointed a flashlight at the bushes in the common area behind the house. There were two javelina (wild pigs) munching on a bush. We watched in fascination. And don’t worry, there was a fence between us and the pigs, so we weren’t in any danger (although I did retreat a step or two when one strolled in our direction.) It was fascinating to watch the pigs interact, burrow in the dirt, play with one another, and get a bite to eat.

Ironically, the night before I had a dream that we had a yard full of javelina (although in my dream some were striped like a zebra and others were bright colors like tropical fish). Maybe my subconscious was picking up on the possibility of the pig encounter. Perhaps I heard the crunching noise in my sleep and my brain conjured up a pig dream. Or maybe I just ate something that didn’t agree with me. But the bottom line is we did see javelina and it was fun to watch.

This may not seem like a magical encounter to many folks. In fact, a few years ago it wouldn’t have seemed like a magical encounter to me either. But when I changed my mindset from negativity (or indifference) to a grateful attitude, seemingly innocent encounters seem enchanting.

There is a gosho, or letter from the Buddhist priest and founder of Nichiren Buddhism called, “On Attaining Buddhahood in this Lifetime.” My favorite snippet from this writing is this: “If the minds of living beings are impure, their land is also impure, but if their minds are pure, so is their land. There are not two lands, pure or impure in themselves. The difference lies solely in the good or evil of our minds.”

When we shift our attitude from cynical to grateful, miracles can happen. It’s as if we create a new space in our hearts for happiness, or illuminate joyful things that had been previously hidden in the dark.

I do not believe that we are born negative. It is a behavior we learn. We may enter this world with a certain predisposition toward happiness or crankiness, but it is not written in stone. We have the power to change it.

For example, I have two grandchildren, one is two years old and the other is one. Since I don’t have to deal with the day-to-day responsibility of their upbringing, I have the opportunity to observe them as they perceive the world. And I can tell by watching them that they embrace magic every day. Everything is a wonder to them.

Now some of these wonders are a “no no” (like turning the TV, computer and other electronics off and on) but other things are perfectly acceptable to enjoy. I try to expose them to as many delightful encounters as I can. The same is true for we grown ups.

We can choose to embrace the magic of every day sights, sounds and experiences, or we can go through life bemoaning the things we do not have. I believe Abraham Lincoln said it best. “"People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

You can go through life as a grouch, or you can embrace the magic within. The important thing to remember the choice is yours. It may be a simple decision, but it one you will need to make every day.