How to Train Your Amygdala

I recently trotted my two granddaughters off to the discount theater to see How to Train Your Dragon 2. It was a hot, Saturday afternoon and the place was packed. In order to sit together we were forced to take a front row seat.  One thing about this vantage point is you feel like you’re rubbing noses with the screen (which, if I had sneezed, I would’ve been.) But it was great fun. 

Having grandchildren (or children) gives you the opportunity to repeat the fun stuff you enjoyed as a kid without having other people judge you for spending the afternoon playing with Play Doh or watching an animated picture. 

I admit it, dragons intrigue me. I’m not sure why. I’m a big fan of Harry Potter movies and mystical stories. Dragons are generally portrayed as villains, but in How to Train Your Dragon 1 and 2 we see humans and dragons working together.  Of course there is a lot of prejudice to overcome, but it finally happens. I apologize if this was a spoiler for any of you, but most Hollywood plots are pretty predictable and secondary to the spectacle and munching of popcorn.

I didn’t think too much about the movie and any underlying messages at first, but then I received an assignment to write an article on meditation for Beauty Link magazine (I’ll post a link when the article comes out.) I’m Buddhist and I chant the words Nam Myoho Renge Kyo every morning and evening. Occasionally I meditate as well, but I have to admit my knowledge on the effects of meditation (or chanting) and the brain is minimal.

Imagine my surprise to learn that meditation and other calming techniques can increase your happy serotonin supply, decrease the nasty cortisol levels, lower your blood pressure and even assist your healing power on a cellular level. Another thing I learned is when we get a jolt of anger, frustration, annoyance etc. a message is sent to the amygdala, a walnut-sized part of our brain that is responsible for our flight or fright response. If left unchecked, our fear-response is activated. 

Our reactions may vary a little depending on our personality, but it is rarely a good scenario. We might feel the urge to fight, take flight, yell, hold our breath, climb a tree, or any number of fear-based reactions. When the danger is real this could be a good thing for self preservation. But most of the time the anger or stress is more an annoyance (rush hour traffic, an approaching deadline, a demanding boss) than a real, life-threatening event.

The good news is there is a 30-second delay from the time the response is noticed before the amygdala yells, “suppress the serotonin and release the cortisol!” It’s like turning off all the water faucets and then igniting an internal fire. Fortunately during this 30 seconds you can take deep breaths and practice a mini-meditation, chant, or practice another relaxation technique to  help restore order to your system. 

Of course this little scenario made me think each dramatic event in our lives gives us the opportunity to be a hero. In most cases we can be kind to our system and psyche and cool our internal flames before it becomes a massive wild fire that torments our bodies and any innocent bystanders.  In the rare cases where we need our fear to protect ourselves and the world, we can let it kick in, jump on our dragon (and I think Amygdala is a good name for a dragon) and we can take up the good fight.

Both scenarios have a place in our lives. But I think it’s safe to say that our “call to arms” is not as necessary as our amygdala would have us believe.

During my post-movie discussion with my granddaughters I asked six-year-old Rosannah what her favorite part of the movie was. She liked the part when the kids and dragons fought the bad guys and won. Briannah, age 5, preferred the beginning of the movie when everything was calm and pleasant. My favorite part was when the heroes had to ride the only dragons that were available – the baby dragons. Unlike the adult flying lizards who followed the directive of the alpha beast – the baby dragons didn’t listen to anyone. And somehow I found that very refreshing.

We can do the same.  We are the alphas of our own minds. We can fly off the handle when we are in grave danger, or we can save our energy, relax by the pool, and live to save the world another day.

Hear Me Roar!!!

I learned something when I babysat my two granddaughters the other day. They didn’t sit me down and offer a lecture. It was an observation I made when I played with them. Two-year-old Briannah sleeps in a crib. It has a door that opens and both girls like to climb inside of it. At first we made it a fort with a blanket on top, then we played peek a boo. The girls enjoyed this game, but it loses its luster after a while. At least for me.

The game switched to pretending the girls were animals in a cage. At first they growled and roared. I would sneak up to the cage and when they roared I would act frightened and run away. They both laughed uproariously at this. The game didn’t vary much from this basic scenario, but they were having so much fun that I kept it up longer than I normally would have done.

A few minutes into the game, Rosannah, who is 3 ½ years old, wanted to be a nice puppy. I would pat her on the head and she smiled. Briannah, however, who is usually the more passive of the two, continued to roar. This was a source of clout for her and she wasn’t ready to give it up.

I can’t blame Briannah. It isn’t often that a two-year-old can have this much “power” over an adult. Toddlers have to eat what we give them, sleep when we put them down for a nap (ideally anyway) go for rides in the car when the situation dictate and wear what we pick out for them. Of course this is for their safety and well being.

We have more choices as we grow older, but a lot of the scenario is very much the same. We work for companies that dictate the hours, the work, the pay and the location. With the crummy economy very few are comfortable doing anything more than doing as they are told and keep any complaints, comments or even suggestions to a minimum. In time, a lot of us feel a loss of power.
I’m not advocating growling at your boss , coworkers, family or friends, but the repressiveness of constantly stuffing your feelings, creativity and spirit can be damaging. In time, many of us could lose our “voice” or the thunderous roar of our imagination and spirit.

I know because I have worked and been in relationships where I felt my opinions and ideas were unappreciated, discouraged and even ridiculed. Years ago I talked to an intuitive who told me my throat chakra was blocked. As a writer and a public speaker, I knew this was something I needed to change. I was so worried about upsetting others that I became someone different than who I am – someone who cares enough to shed light on an unhappy world. Not only was I not shedding light, my own internal enlightenment felt like I was using a dimmer switch toward the off position.

At some point in our lives we worry more about pleasing others than doing the right thing. I saw that in Rosannah when she switched from a lion to a nice puppy. Of course I don’t advocate we became nasty little grippers who complain, vetch and moan. I believe in reducing the pessimism in our lives and even co-wrote the self-improvement book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. But I don’t want folks to think I mean we should be a herd of sheep that do what others expect and do not have the courage to speak up when the situation calls for it.
Of course using diplomacy and trying to engage others in dialogue is a preferred method of communication, but sometimes we just need to stand up and roar. This could be to our congressman, bullies, bosses, spouses, or those who are trying to hurt us or others.

It reminds me of the lyrics from Helen Reddy’s I Am Woman.

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again ”

You don’t have to believe me – or even Helen Reddy. Ask Briannah or any other toddler you know. Our voices are powerful instruments. Make the best use of it. ROAR!!!

Let Yourself Go!

I love fall. Every year I imagine feeling the cool, crisp autumn air on my face and gazing at trees as they burst into glorious colors of red, orange and gold. This is not an easy feat as Arizona is as apt to be warm than not – even in November. Most of the leaves turn brown, not gold, and fall onto the ground without fanfare.

But this year was different. My spouse, CB, and I decided to go to the Boyce Thompson Arboretum with the two grandchildren, Rosannah and Briannah. The girls are pretty young (3 and 19 months respectively) but I knew they would enjoy an excursion. We drove the 45 minutes to the arboretum and enjoyed the beautiful scenery. Once we were at our destination we saw golden leaves of Aspen, the red leaves of the Pistachio trees, as well as the sights, smells and sounds of autumn.

I make frequent trips to this site, but this time it was the most beautiful I have ever seen it. Of course it was even more special because CB and I were sharing it with the girls.

We navigated through the hilly terrain (it’s hilly if you are pushing two tykes in a double stroller), as well as over bridges and a narrow pathway alongside a stream. It was gorgeous. Once we arrived home my daughter asked her girls what her favorite part of the trip was. Her answer was not of beautiful sites (although she did talk about a beautiful house that we thought looked like a castle and had the possibility of a princess living there.)

Rosannah was excited that she peed in the potty. The toilet training has been a bit slow, but this was a significant feat because she has never used a public toilet before. Try saying “Pee pee in the public potty” five times fast. But I digress.

The fact is most of us get a shot of self esteem when we accomplish something significant. The temperature was deliciously cool, the air fragrant and the colors magnificent, but the one thing that Rosannah accomplished on her own was the potty peeing procedure.

Now most of you reading this are not going to brag about going to the bathroom by yourself. It’s something we take for granted (except when camping when I thank the heavens for flushing commodes.) But this was a new experience for my 3-year-old granddaughter.

So I have a challenge for all of you. I propose you go on a negativity diet and bolster your self esteem by eliminating some negativity from your life. This is no small matter. Reducing your negativity can increase your happiness and improve your health. Why? Consider this.

• The average person has 40,000 to 65,000 thoughts a day and 95% of those thoughts are negative.

• Developing a happier mindset can increase chemical reactions that can calm anxiety, relieve depression, promote alertness and increase enjoyment.

• Happy people are 35% less likely to get a cold and produce 50% more antibodies in response to flu vaccines than the average person.

• Individuals who score high on happiness and optimism scale have reduced risk of cardiovascular disease, hypertension and infections.

• People who maintain a good sense of humor (an indication of inner happiness) outlive those who don’t. No wonder so many comedians live well into their 80s and 90s.

In our book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within, we offer tips on how to erase negativity from your life. I will also be writing more about the subject in future blogs.

If you haven’t had a chance to buy the book, it’s available on Amazon, or by contacting me through the blog, or emailing comicsall@gmail.com.

So don’t hang onto that negativity any longer. Be like Rosannah and enjoy the feeling of letting yourself “go” and sending the stinky stuff into the toilet where it belongs.

How Can You Embrace the Magic Within?

In a recent interview I was asked, “What can people do to embrace the magic within?”

Embrace the Magic Within is the subtitle of my book. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting this question (I’m new at being on the receiving end of an interview after all!) The short response is the two main components are to:

A: Erase negativity.
B: Develop a grateful attitude.

The media expects sound bites and I’m used to lengthier responses, but that IS the long and short of it - erase negativity and develop an attitude of gratitude. The dilemma is “embracing the magic within” is more of a journey than a final destination. For the sour pusses of the world, it requires a shift in thought. It can happen in a nano second, develop over a lifetime, or never happen at all.

It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by Confucius:

Watch your thoughts they become your words.
Watch your words they become your actions.
Watch your actions they become your habits.
Watch your habits they become your character.
Watch your character it becomes your destiny.

The good news is that when you expect magical experiences, they have a way of manifesting on a regular basis. For instance, a couple of nights ago my spouse and I were in the backyard. Our “night time backyard adventures” resulted in our spying a tiny mouse, a baby bunny, and a toad lurking near our backyard pond.

Then we heard a crunching sound. CB pointed a flashlight at the bushes in the common area behind the house. There were two javelina (wild pigs) munching on a bush. We watched in fascination. And don’t worry, there was a fence between us and the pigs, so we weren’t in any danger (although I did retreat a step or two when one strolled in our direction.) It was fascinating to watch the pigs interact, burrow in the dirt, play with one another, and get a bite to eat.

Ironically, the night before I had a dream that we had a yard full of javelina (although in my dream some were striped like a zebra and others were bright colors like tropical fish). Maybe my subconscious was picking up on the possibility of the pig encounter. Perhaps I heard the crunching noise in my sleep and my brain conjured up a pig dream. Or maybe I just ate something that didn’t agree with me. But the bottom line is we did see javelina and it was fun to watch.

This may not seem like a magical encounter to many folks. In fact, a few years ago it wouldn’t have seemed like a magical encounter to me either. But when I changed my mindset from negativity (or indifference) to a grateful attitude, seemingly innocent encounters seem enchanting.

There is a gosho, or letter from the Buddhist priest and founder of Nichiren Buddhism called, “On Attaining Buddhahood in this Lifetime.” My favorite snippet from this writing is this: “If the minds of living beings are impure, their land is also impure, but if their minds are pure, so is their land. There are not two lands, pure or impure in themselves. The difference lies solely in the good or evil of our minds.”

When we shift our attitude from cynical to grateful, miracles can happen. It’s as if we create a new space in our hearts for happiness, or illuminate joyful things that had been previously hidden in the dark.

I do not believe that we are born negative. It is a behavior we learn. We may enter this world with a certain predisposition toward happiness or crankiness, but it is not written in stone. We have the power to change it.

For example, I have two grandchildren, one is two years old and the other is one. Since I don’t have to deal with the day-to-day responsibility of their upbringing, I have the opportunity to observe them as they perceive the world. And I can tell by watching them that they embrace magic every day. Everything is a wonder to them.

Now some of these wonders are a “no no” (like turning the TV, computer and other electronics off and on) but other things are perfectly acceptable to enjoy. I try to expose them to as many delightful encounters as I can. The same is true for we grown ups.

We can choose to embrace the magic of every day sights, sounds and experiences, or we can go through life bemoaning the things we do not have. I believe Abraham Lincoln said it best. “"People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

You can go through life as a grouch, or you can embrace the magic within. The important thing to remember the choice is yours. It may be a simple decision, but it one you will need to make every day.