Dealing with Change

Like most people, I don’t like change. Yes, change is inevitable. Yes, change is the only way to improve and grow. Life is like a soiled diaper, if you don't change it, it stinks. Blah, blah, blah. I know it, I accept it, and as a self-improvement writer, I even write about it. 

But it doesn’t mean I like it.

Recently, when something DIDN’T change I performed a little happy dance.  I work as a public relations specialist at Royal Neighbors of America, one of the largest women-led life insurers in the U.S.  I am constantly creating a number of articles, press releases, web content, and blogs.  Don’t get me wrong. I love my job and the people I work with. But like most workplaces, especially one that is as highly regulated as life insurance, there is a chain of command. Many eyes see my work, comment on it, change it, and send it back to me for revisions. 

However, once in a while something wonderful happens – nothing. My article comes back unscathed. It's sheer ecstasy when a bit of my copy emerges unsullied from the strike-throughs on the track-changes tool on Word. Or better yet, it comes back with a happy, little bubble comment that says something like “great” or “we loved this”. It makes the whole process seem worthwhile. An unaltered document is like a victory to me.  On the rare occasion my work is accepted as is (rare), or praised (less rare), I raise my fist in exalted victory, mutter a happy “yes!”, spin in my chair, take a second to regain my balance, and get back to work.

I don’t think this is an unusual reaction for a writer – especially a public relations specialist, journalist, or screenwriter.  For instance, a popular expression in the screenwriting world is you don’t get paid for what you do, but rather what they do to you. It isn’t that bad in PR. We are trained to see the bright side of things. Many of us are like cocker spaniels. We live for a smile, a pat on the head, and occasional byline. Of course the biggest motivator comes from knowing something you write or do created value in the world. I must confess, for me, that is the greatest joy of all. In those moments of helping others I would gladly work for free. But a gal has to eat and live, so even on a good day I’m still cashing my paycheck. 

While I would never discourage anyone from these celebratory moments of bliss, as a Buddhist I know personal glory is a double-edged sword. That type of joy (rapture) is not true happiness. It is a transitory emotion. It’s like a hit of cocaine. It’s a momentary high. And what comes up must come down. The problem is when we base our happiness on external factors such as praise, wealth, fame, status etc. it is an unsustainable happiness. Even the greatest transitory joys in life are temporary. Even if we are extremely fortunate and enjoy wonderful circumstances for many years, all things come to an end. After all, we can’t take our possessions, our wealth, our achievements, our families, or our status with us when we die.

However, from a Buddhist perspective, there is one thing continues sticks with us – our karma. The good and bad causes we make do not fade away. It may take eons for past thoughts, speech and actions to manifest into an appropriate and correlating effect, but it does. Of course it would be nice if we could see immediate results from our good efforts. But then it would mean we would have to see instantaneous results from the bad causes too and who wants that? 

There is a reason for the delay.  As time elapses we have the opportunity to (hopefully) grow and gain better insight into our past behavior and learn from it.

But we are human. We will make mistakes. And I am not advocating we live a life without pleasure. I, for one, will continue to enjoy joyous interactions with my family and friends, laugh at jokes, smile when I know I have helped another, and yes, do a little jig when one of my unedited articles gets picked up by the media. 

But I have changed.

As I have practiced Buddhism over the years, my perspective about being a writer has evolved. I can revel in a little personal glory now and again, and I can grumble a bit when things don’t turn out the way I would like. The bottom line is deep down I know these little incidents aren’t as important as I would like to think they are. 

If I want to be happy, I need to concentrate less on glory and more on prayer. In my case that prayer is chanting the words Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. When I chant it sparks an internal human revolution in me.  As a result of my prayer I can see that many of the “edits” I face help me grow. It can also serve as an opportunity to change for the better – and sometimes that applies to my copy as well.

 

Reactivating My Life's Purpose Each 4th of July

I have a 4^th of July tradition. I enjoy going to barbecues, watching fireworks and other typical holiday celebrations, but my ritual is more contemplative. I spend a few minutes concentrating on how I can use my skills as a writer to help others. 

I don’t remember exactly when I started using Independence Day in this regard, but I DO know it predated my professional writing career which has been going strong for at least 30 years. Well, some years stronger than others. I earned my first paycheck for something I wrote back in 1983 when the Arizona Republic published a story I wrote about an unwanted Christmas tree. I earned a whopping $30, but the pride carried me through many years of pennilessness for my freelance work. No wonder they call it “free.”

I was not becoming rich for my efforts, but I was prolific typing weekly articles for Campus News, the weekly newspaper for Scottsdale Community College and occasional submissions to the Buddhist periodicals the World Tribune and Living Buddhism. I also penned plays, skits, video scripts, screenplays and teleplays.

Eventually I earned a Bachelor’s degree in journalism and was hired by Mesa Parks, Recreation and Cultural Division as a public relations practitioner. It was a part-time position but I cranked out press releases, feature stories, speeches, letters and brochure copy like a machine. I worked with wonderful people and enjoyed putting my skills to good use for eight years. 

One of the benefits of working for the city is that I could see the direct results my words had in making the community a better place. I wrote about the wonderful events, classes, volunteer opportunities and programs MPRCD offered, people read or heard the news via newspaper, radio or TV and came out in droves to enjoy them. Unfortunately my position was eliminated in spite of glowing performance evaluations. 

Things went downhill after that. My marriage ended and I had a string of writing jobs that didn’t work out. Eventually I took a more stable position working for a local non-profit organization. Unfortunately my writing skills were rarely needed. I felt a part of me died. My attitude must have tanked too, as I eventually was fired from that job as well.

In spite of this setback and hiatus from being a professional scribe, every year on the 4^th of July I reignited my desire to be a writer that would serve humankind. Unbeknownst to those around me, I would launch my wishes into the universe and wait for the brilliant burst of color in the night sky to remind me that my desires could burst forth into reality if I could remain steadfast in my commitment.

My Independence Day ritual predated The Secret, the Abraham series and What the Bleep Do You Know. However, my issue was I didn’t hold onto the dream long enough. Once a year does not an expert make. Eventually I read (and even co-wrote) books and articles on creating a positive attitude and fulfilling your life’s ambitions. To date my most successful work was penning the popular self-help book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within (with fellow author Jacqueline Howard.)  Nothing is more gratifying than knowing something I created has improved the life of another person.

But I’m human and sometimes take a stroll on the grouchy side of life. At times I wonder if the words I write have any impact, I worry my expertise as a public relations expert and professional writer will no longer be enough to pay the bills, as well as any number of negative thoughts that can swirl in and out of my consciousness. Fortunately I’ve trained myself not to wander down that rabbit hole of negativity for any length of time. It’s like exposing ourselves to radiation – a little might be necessary at times, but too much is toxic.

Fortunately today is the 4^th of July – my day to rewrite my personal history. Holidays are great reminders of important dates and people in our lives. It doesn’t matter if the holiday is secular or non secular, all have value.

You may or may not want to read my articles, book or adopt my practice of using the 4^th of July to remind yourself to launch or reactivate your life’s purpose. But in the words of my father (imagine a Yiddish accent when reading the next four words) “What could it hurt?”

Deficit Thinking

You don’t need to be a financial guru to know that you need to earn more than you spend to get ahead. What is not so obvious is that the same applies to our thoughts. If we put our attention and energy on what we are lacking, we will always come up short. With so many of us suffering from the effects of the troubled economy, it is easy to resort to a scarcity mentality of “there isn’t enough”. Unfortunately this results in a downward spiral that is not only depressing, it also robs of us the energy we could be using to tap into more positive and creative thoughts to change our circumstances.

For instance, I have a public relations firm. When the economy was merrily buzzing along, I had more than enough clients to take care of needs and I enjoyed a comfortable lifestyle. However, when the housing boom melted, the domino theory trickled down to my business. I lost some valued clients – some from bankruptcy – others to a severe shortage of funds. Not only was my client base reduced, some of the existing companies I was working with were not paying the money they owed me. As a small business person, this was pretty rough.

Each time I lost a customer I had a running tally of the deficit. My inner dialogue was something like, “I need $1,000 to make up for ABC client, $500 to make up for DEF client and another $1,500 to replenish the income from GHI client. Needless to say, I was not successful in my pursuits. I kept trying to bring everything back to where it was before. My focus was on what I was lacking, and I was motivated by fear.

Fear may be useful to keep people from doing something stupid – like jumping off a building – but it is not a good stimulus for creativity. And as a public relations practitioner and freelance writer, creativity is the juice that keeps me going.

I took the normal precautions one should take with a loss of income. I cut my expenses. It is good to be optimistic, but one has to be realistic too. You shouldn’t spend what you don’t have. So I ate less pizza, curtailed unnecessary costs, drove less and increased the deductible on my health insurance. These were all necessary (and in the pizza-eating case) healthier choices.

Unfortunately, I started resenting my circumstances and my focus turned into a wee bit of negativity. However, I know better and I didn’t dwell in my emotional basement for long. Years of experience has taught me that negativity NEVER changes a situation for the better.

So what did I do to turn things around? I played tennis.

I had been sitting on my duff and I hadn’t been taking any action. That is not to say that I wasn’t using the internet to find more work. I sent out letters and proposals. But that is so stagnant. I was using my brain, but not my body. So I went out and played some doubles tennis in the evening. I am no Venus Williams, but I had fun. Because of my physical exertion, I slept better. When I was physically dormant and consumed with worry, my nocturnal thoughts evolved into frustrating nightmares. But the night after I played tennis I had empowering dreams. That gave way to a few new ideas for increasing my business. Then I found out about a new form of publishing for my book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. Then I contacted a former client and came up with a great pitch I could make to the local morning show producers. For the first time in a couple months, producers were contacting me again.

Once my creativity started flowing, so did the work. I felt empowered and that new mindset was making me a magnet for success. Instead of focusing on the work I lost, I concentrated on my original intention – helping small businesses succeed through creative, cost-effective public relations strategies.

New clients, albeit with smaller retainers, were coming my way. I started to rebuild my business again, almost from the ground up. It was a lot like my tennis game. I wasn’t acing anyone with the brute force of a 100-mph serve, but I was slowly gathering points by staying in the game.

We all suffer setbacks in life. I am no exception. And even as the author of a self help book on the value of positive thinking, I have my moments of tarnished thoughts. But I can honestly say nothing is ever restored to brightness from grousing or crying into a pity pot. It is only when we challenge our obstacles, shake off defeat and use creativity rather than negativity to combat our problems that we can truly shine.