Don't Let Negativity Gobble Up Your Thanksgiving Dinner

Thanksgiving is next week. Many of us will have the opportunity to dine with family and friends for a special once-a-year meal. Many look forward to this event with anticipation – some with dread. And I confess, in my life I have approached this holiday with both mindsets.

I have seen the confidence of the strongest, most confident men and women become mushier than a bowl of mashed potatoes at the thought of facing the snide comments, comparisons and cruelty that some of our relatives bring to the holiday table.

How ironic that a feast that is supposed to be a celebration of gratitude and harmony can churn out more negativity and drama than a soap opera marathon.

But there is hope. We cannot change other people, but we can work on our own reaction to them. Last year I posted a short video on you tube on three simple steps on how to erase negativity. It’s not a cure all, but it can help us reduce our own negativity, which in turn can have a ripple effect on others.

Please check out this video and share it with your friends and family. Heck, share it with your enemies too. They probably need it worst of all. You can view it at

http://youtu.be/208XAm-x3R8
 

As an added bonus, I will offer a free ebook with the purchase of every paperback copy of the book. The catch is you need to contact me directly through this blog or my website www.EraseNegativity.com. The book is $14.99 or two for $25. You can also purchase the book at various independent stores as well as Amazon.


For those of you who are not familiar with the message in the book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within is a practical guide on how to reduce negativity and embrace happiness. From meth addicts to multi-millionaires, the book offers powerful experiences of individuals who have faced dramatic challenges, but did not lose hope. Using these compelling biographies, as well as practical advice and simple exercises, the reader is guided on an internal journey toward adopting a more joyful way to live.

We pay a heavy price for our negativity and I want to combat that with a free tool that provides a more optimistic alternative. I’m really hoping folks will spread the word and use this window of time to read the book and suggest it to others who are interested in embracing a more hopeful message.

So there you have it. No more excuses. Discounted book and a free video. Kick that grouch out now. But lest I come off too brash or too self serving, I do have one last bit of advice for this holiday season. Try to take a moment and find the love in your heart and send those laser beams of love out to those family members around you – especially those who annoy you. While we might not think so now, there will come a time when they are out of our lives and we will miss them. And more importantly, we do not want to miss the opportunity to summon up a little love and shine a little light in the world.

Another Christmas Memory

It’s been a busy holiday season and my blog has featured two “rerun” posts. I don’t think that is a bad thing. I may make it an annual tradition. But today I thought I should write something new. For me, Christmas is a time of joy, but it is also a time of reflection. I can’t help but think of past holidays.

My blog on the unwanted Christmas tree was a memorable experience (see the entry on Dec. 6.) As a child, there was definitely a magical feeling at Christmas time. Of course I looked forward to giving and receiving presents, but there was more to it than that. I think I was too young to analyze it. I just loved the way I felt during this joyous time.

Later, when I became a wife and mother, the magical feeling intensified as I had two daughters and a husband to share the holidays with. One memorable moment was when my daughter, Alicia was 6 years old and her little sister, Brittany was 2 or 3. Alicia had excitedly been chattering away about Santa Claus, reindeer and presents.

Even though Brittany was still in diapers, she had a healthy dose of skepticism. She did not like sitting on Santa Claus’ lap, I sensed she knew his beard was fake, and I think she thought her sister was pulling her leg about the whole Christmas thing. We weren’t poor, but we didn’t have a lot of extra money either. The idea of a bunch of toys under the tree seemed too much of a stretch. Brit knew we couldn’t afford to buy all the things she saw advertised on TV (I used this “can’t afford it” line a lot when they wanted stuff at the store.)
Still, I’m sure, she was hopeful.

Christmas morning I remember waiting in bed for the girls to stir so we could begin our holiday. John and I waited and waited. Why were they so quiet? “How could they wait so long?” I wondered. The truth of the matter was they were awake. Brittany had joined her sister in Alicia’s bedroom and they were waiting for us to get out of bed. They usually weren’t that considerate, but hey, who wants to take a chance of messing up on Christmas morning?

Neither girl had ventured out of the bedroom to peak under the Christmas tree in the living room. The night before there were a couple presents for Grandma and Grandpa and maybe a relative or two, but nothing from Santa Claus. At least not yet. We told the girls it was okay to get up and take a peak.

Alicia was ready for the festivities to begin and she slowly ushered her little sister toward the living room and the Christmas tree. I will never forget this moment. Alicia knew the drill. She knew Santa would come. Brittany, however, was skeptical. She didn’t remember last year’s holiday. She was only a baby. I could just imagine her thought process. “All year long we don’t get any toys except for our birthdays, why would we get a bunch now?”

The girls peaked around the corner and low and behold, beneath the Christmas tree were stacks of toys. Only the night before there were only a couple of presents and they were designated for others.

Brittany’s eyes were filled with amazement and awe. She seemed to be thinking, “Could this possibly be true?” She was filled with the magic of Christmas. Alicia had a more “knowing” quality as she took in the sight. She knew great things happened on Christmas, and now she had a little sister to share the holiday with – even if the little tyke was a bit skeptical.

What the girls did not know is there had been a Santa Claus of sorts. We had enough money for a few presents, but certainly not that many. However, my Aunt Liz and her husband Ernie, had a good year. The childless couple decided to give their struggling nieces and nephews an added bonus, a check for $100. We received it in time to buy extra gifts for the girls, including a few things that we knew our daughters wanted, but we could not afford to give them.

Of course I think the girls would have been happy even without the extra presents. I can safely say this because of who they have become. They are now grown women and are kind, loving and considerate human beings. Alicia is a school teacher, a wife to her husband Greg, and the mother of two children of her own. She still has that “all knowing/wise quality” about her. Brittany is a student and is happily married to Jamie. Her children are her two dogs, Piggy and Guinness. Brit is still a bit of a skeptic, but that magical moment of Christmas and hope still lives in her heart.
I don’t want to come across as a Pollyanna. I know this has been a difficult year for a lot of folks. However, if there is one thing I’ve learned, is that in spite of the difficulties we face, we must never harden our hearts. Both good things, and bad, will not last forever.

My Christmas message this year is to save a little space in your heart for hope and joy. Things may not always be perfect, but there is always the possibility of a miracle. Especially at Christmas.
Happy Holidays!

The Wrong Bus is a Step in the Right Direction

I just read the book, The Wrong Bus, An Urban Christmas Story, by John Noel Hampton. I highly recommend it. Check it out at www.JohnNoelHampton.com or www.amazon.com. I enjoy reading, but it’s difficult for me to find a book, especially fiction, that I enjoy. When I find a novel that captures my interest I become immersed in the message and it becomes a part of me.

Because of this intimate connection I have with my reading material, I have to be choosy. Depressing books darken my mood, thrillers make me anxious, but inspirational books lighten my soul.

The Wrong Bus is realistic, but hopeful. Here is a synopsis:

When Ida, a wealthy older optimist, sets out to complete her Christmas shopping, little does she know the dramatic turn her life will take when she decides to go by bus to save a few dollars and becomes the victim of a brutal assault. Her luck takes a three-sixty turn when Junior, a young African-American student from the wrong side of town with troubles of his own, comes to her rescue-or does it? Christmas in Los Angeles can bring out the worst in some, but it can also spin misery into miracles and just maybe restore faith.

In my own book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within, I caution individuals to pay attention to their daily intake of information. If we surround ourselves with negative people, listen to an onslaught of gloomy news reports, fill up our free time with depressing music and read books with dark messages, it only makes sense that it will affect our moods.

That doesn’t mean we have to be oblivious to world events, but I do think it’s important to balance the flow of negative and positive in our lives. For instance, the very nature of journalism is to put a focus on scary, depressing or horrible events. The old adage, “If it bleeds, it leads” is as true now as it has been for decades. So if one is immersed in dismal news stories, you could believe the entire world is bad, crime-ridden and without hope. However, predominately negative stories are being covered, and the reason they are stories in the first place is because of the negative and depressing nature of the event.

But that is not a realistic look at the world.

I believe there is a lot more good than bad. We just need to pay more attention to it. It’s one of the reasons I make a conscious effort to start my day reciting things that I’m grateful for. It can be as simple as seeing the sun shine, having the strength to get out of bed, thinking about the many people in my life who I care about and care about me, as well as having a roof over my bed and enough food to eat. These are simple things for most of us, but they are luxuries or non existent for others.

But back to the book, The Wrong Bus.

We make choices in our lives and one is what we choose to read. John has not only written a realistic, but heart-warming tale, he is donating $2 from the sale of each book (now through Nov. 30, 2010) to charity. I hope you will go to www.Amazon.com or to John’s website and get the book. In my opinion, The Wrong Bus is the right choice for a good holiday read.