I used to be a smart aleck. I suppose if there were a “Smart Assoholics” group I would have considered attending, but I never mustered the courage to look into it. Can you imagine calling and asking someone, “Can you tell me when the Smart Assoholics Group meets?” The members would either ignore you and or assume you were being a smart aleck for asking such a question.
I never officially went into smart aleck recovery, but I’ve more or less reformed my sarcastic ways. When someone says something unkind, the synapses in my brain may emit a fiery thought or two, but I try to use restraint before it erupts into a verbal explosion. In my youth I wasn’t as quick on my feet when the attack was directed at me, but if someone said something nasty to a friend or family member I could launch some zingers that could cut someone off at the knees.
Nearly 20 years ago (when wearing a bicycle helmet was more the exception than the rule) my daughter, Alicia, donned a helmet and pedaled off to junior high. Naturally some rude kid gave her a hard time about wearing it. My instant reaction was to say to the kid, “If I had your brain I wouldn’t worry about wearing a helmet either, but Alicia, unlike you, has something of value between her ears.” Now I just thought this. I didn’t say it. But if I’d seen that rotten kid that would probably have been the nicest thing I said to him.
Of course not all of my put downs were so mean-spirited. Some were more humorous than caustic. However, when I was in my 30s I enrolled in a World Religions class at Scottsdale Community College. I was especially interested in the chapter about Buddhism and decided to follow the example of employing “right speech” and keep the sarcasm at bay.
This was not easy for me. I had spent a lot of my life making smart aleck statements and my ability to emit witty retorts and I felt this skill was one of my finest attributes. However, I knew these comebacks created negative karma and I wanted to clean up my act. A great quote from Confucius helped inspire my new mode of speech.
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
Here are a couple of helpful hints about “right speech” taken from the “Speak No Evil” chapter of my book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within.
•Don’t gossip about others. Think about the effect your words can have before they leave your mouth. Before you speak, imagine the person you are talking about is standing right next to you listening to what you have to say. If you wouldn’t have the courage to say it to their face, or would be embarrassed for them to hear your opinion, don’t say it.
•Be mindful of your intention when you speak or act. Ask yourself if your intention is to be kind or mean. Before you say something, imagine someone said the same thing about you. Would you find this information helpful or hurtful? If you wouldn’t feel good hearing it, they probably won’t either. However, if there is something important that needs to be said, try communicating in a compassionate, not authoritarian, manner.
Sometimes it helps to use the “erase and replace” method. Take the offending word, thought or action and replace it with something kinder. This will take some resolve and some ingenuity, but you can do it. Anyone can flip a bird at a rude driver. That’s an automatic response. Why not use the situation as an opportunity to curse in pig latin?
Here’s another example. One day while my spouse, CB, and I were on a walk, we stepped in doggy do. Rather than get angry and yell the four letter word that instantly comes to mind, we tried to think of how many synonyms we could come up with to substitute for the word sh**. We came up with 16 (without the aid of a thesaurus). More importantly, we started laughing and enjoyed the rest of our walk .
Which brings me back to the present. Not gossiping and using diplomacy are two methods of “right speech” that I’ve worked hard to incorporate into my life. However, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to totally eliminate my clever responses. Not one to concede defeat easily, I put on my thinking cap and came up with a solution. I save my witty repartee and use it as snappy dialogue for the characters in my screenplays.
And a funny thing happened. My efforts have paid off. My scripts have won several awards and I’ve received a lot of praise for my clever dialogue. However, if you ask folks who know me what words they want to hear the most from me, they will tell you words of kindness. Not one person has asked me to go back to being a smart aleck.
I guess Mignon McLauglin’s quote says it best. “Don't be yourself - be someone a little nicer.”
Showing posts with label child self esteem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label child self esteem. Show all posts
Friday, August 12, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Enjoying Tweets Not Twitter
I need to get out more often. I’m a social animal, but it seems like I spend more time with my computer than among the living. That is why it was a treat to come to Red Bluff, California over the recent Memorial Day holiday.
I launched my Northern California book tour and Red Bluff was my second stop. I gave a talk and book signing at Crystal Art & Apparel. Wilma, the owner, organized a wonderful affair, the Red Bluff Daily News ran a press release about the event and the nearby Redding Record Searchlight ran a ¾ -page article on the front page of the Community Section.
As a public relations professional (my day job), free media exposure is my life’s blood. However, the real thrill was being able to talk about my passion of helping people erase negativity. Of course it is also the theme of our book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within, written by me and my friend and co-author, Jacqueline Howard. By the end of the evening, everyone in the audience bought copies of the book. Some folks bought two books!
Even though I’m comfortable lecturing, I prefer to conduct my talks as a round-table discussion. I believe everyone gets more out of the event if they are an active participant. I learned on the site, The Learning Pyramid, that folks only retain 5% of what they learn from a lecture, but that number increases to 50% when they are engaged in a group discussion. Hopefully these folks will practice what they heard and enhance their retention increase to 75%. Best of all is when they teach someone else what they were taught and use it immediately. At that point the retention reaches a whopping 90%! If more folks do this and learn to erase negativity and teach others about the process, I believe we will see some truly optimistic results!
Since I was out of town, my preparation for this talk was a bit unusual. I decided to walk down a trail leading to the Sacramento River. Since I didn’t have the typical distractions that I have at home, I was able to focus on my surroundings. I did think a little about the talk and the content I wanted to present, but mostly I enjoyed the trees, wildflowers and greenery. Rather than my pre-talk tweeting on twitter, I listened to the chirping of birds and the rustling of leaves on the trees.
During this outdoor excursion I let my soul become immersed in the beauty of the surroundings. Rather than rehearse a speech, I decided to refresh my spirit so I could be totally present to the group. I know my topic, so I wasn’t worried that I’d forget anything important or become speechless. I wanted a little spontaneity regarding the direction the talk would take and the flexibility to change course if necessary. There is no way I could know this until I met my audience.
When I’m in a group where there is an exchange of ideas, I feel rejuvenated. I hope (and believe) the Red Bluff audience felt the same way. By the end of the evening when we formally ended the discussion and went on to bigger and better things (eating the delicious food Wilma had prepared) I felt like I was chatting with old friends.
Don’t get me wrong, I do believe speakers should be prepared. I don’t think folks should just “wing it” and not have any regard to the ideas they wish to convey. However, in my case, my message was all about erasing negativity and embracing the magic within. How could I authentically express this concept if I spent more time on how to turn a phrase rather than appreciating the beauty of my environment?
I recently read a sentence in a book that said, “Everything goes back to the beginning.” The same is true with this little story. I feel more like a “human being” rather than a “human doing” when I take the time to enjoy my surroundings and allow a flow of dialogue rather than rehearse a canned speech. Like I said before, “I really need to get out more often.”
I launched my Northern California book tour and Red Bluff was my second stop. I gave a talk and book signing at Crystal Art & Apparel. Wilma, the owner, organized a wonderful affair, the Red Bluff Daily News ran a press release about the event and the nearby Redding Record Searchlight ran a ¾ -page article on the front page of the Community Section.
As a public relations professional (my day job), free media exposure is my life’s blood. However, the real thrill was being able to talk about my passion of helping people erase negativity. Of course it is also the theme of our book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within, written by me and my friend and co-author, Jacqueline Howard. By the end of the evening, everyone in the audience bought copies of the book. Some folks bought two books!
Even though I’m comfortable lecturing, I prefer to conduct my talks as a round-table discussion. I believe everyone gets more out of the event if they are an active participant. I learned on the site, The Learning Pyramid, that folks only retain 5% of what they learn from a lecture, but that number increases to 50% when they are engaged in a group discussion. Hopefully these folks will practice what they heard and enhance their retention increase to 75%. Best of all is when they teach someone else what they were taught and use it immediately. At that point the retention reaches a whopping 90%! If more folks do this and learn to erase negativity and teach others about the process, I believe we will see some truly optimistic results!
Since I was out of town, my preparation for this talk was a bit unusual. I decided to walk down a trail leading to the Sacramento River. Since I didn’t have the typical distractions that I have at home, I was able to focus on my surroundings. I did think a little about the talk and the content I wanted to present, but mostly I enjoyed the trees, wildflowers and greenery. Rather than my pre-talk tweeting on twitter, I listened to the chirping of birds and the rustling of leaves on the trees.
During this outdoor excursion I let my soul become immersed in the beauty of the surroundings. Rather than rehearse a speech, I decided to refresh my spirit so I could be totally present to the group. I know my topic, so I wasn’t worried that I’d forget anything important or become speechless. I wanted a little spontaneity regarding the direction the talk would take and the flexibility to change course if necessary. There is no way I could know this until I met my audience.
When I’m in a group where there is an exchange of ideas, I feel rejuvenated. I hope (and believe) the Red Bluff audience felt the same way. By the end of the evening when we formally ended the discussion and went on to bigger and better things (eating the delicious food Wilma had prepared) I felt like I was chatting with old friends.
Don’t get me wrong, I do believe speakers should be prepared. I don’t think folks should just “wing it” and not have any regard to the ideas they wish to convey. However, in my case, my message was all about erasing negativity and embracing the magic within. How could I authentically express this concept if I spent more time on how to turn a phrase rather than appreciating the beauty of my environment?
I recently read a sentence in a book that said, “Everything goes back to the beginning.” The same is true with this little story. I feel more like a “human being” rather than a “human doing” when I take the time to enjoy my surroundings and allow a flow of dialogue rather than rehearse a canned speech. Like I said before, “I really need to get out more often.”
Thursday, April 7, 2011
The Story of the Ham
Have you attempted to break family patterns (like improving yourself by going to college) and met with resistance? Perhaps you developed an innovative approach to solve a problem at work only to be told “That’s not how we do things here.” If so, don’t despair. Here is a little story in honor of Easter to help shine a new perspective on old habits. It’s taken from our book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. In honor of Easter, anyone who contacts me directly through the blog or my website, www.erasenegativity.com before the end of April 2011 and orders the book will receive free shipping and handling.
It was Easter and four generations of the Smith family were preparing for a holiday feast. Emily, a young bride, carefully watched her mother as she pulled out all the utensils and ingredients for the special meal. Emily knew that one day it would be her turn to prepare the feast, and when she did, she wanted everything to be perfect. Emily’s mom plopped the ham on a cutting board, slicing off the front and hind portions of the ham before putting it into a roasting pan.
“Why do you cut off the ends like that?” Emily asked, expecting some culinary insight.
The mother crinkled her eyebrows in thought and put the knife down.
“I don’t know. I guess because that’s how mama always did it,” the mother answered. Emily thought about the response, but she seemed unsatisfied.
“Grandma’s here. Maybe we should ask her,” suggested Emily. Emily’s mother nodded okay, and the two women walked into the dining room where Grandma was setting the table.
“Mom is showing me how to cook the ham and I was wondering why you cut the ends off,” began Emily. “She said that’s how you always did it, so she did the same.”
Grandma adjusted the silverware next to her best china, wiped her hands on her apron, and thought a moment.
“You know, I never really thought about it,” she answered. “That’s how your great grandma always did it, so that’s the way it’s always been done.”
At that moment, Emily’s brother wheeled Great Grandma Smith into the house. Emily, her mother and her grandmother walked over to the matriarch, gave her a kiss on the cheek and wheeled her next to the dining room table. Emily patted her great granny on the arm and bent next to her so she could hear her question.
Mom, grandma and I were in the kitchen getting ready to cook the ham and we had a question. Why do you sliced off the ends of the ham before you put it in the roasting pan.”
“Hmph,” snorted the old woman. “I cut off the ends of it because my dang roasting pan was too small.”
It was Easter and four generations of the Smith family were preparing for a holiday feast. Emily, a young bride, carefully watched her mother as she pulled out all the utensils and ingredients for the special meal. Emily knew that one day it would be her turn to prepare the feast, and when she did, she wanted everything to be perfect. Emily’s mom plopped the ham on a cutting board, slicing off the front and hind portions of the ham before putting it into a roasting pan.
“Why do you cut off the ends like that?” Emily asked, expecting some culinary insight.
The mother crinkled her eyebrows in thought and put the knife down.
“I don’t know. I guess because that’s how mama always did it,” the mother answered. Emily thought about the response, but she seemed unsatisfied.
“Grandma’s here. Maybe we should ask her,” suggested Emily. Emily’s mother nodded okay, and the two women walked into the dining room where Grandma was setting the table.
“Mom is showing me how to cook the ham and I was wondering why you cut the ends off,” began Emily. “She said that’s how you always did it, so she did the same.”
Grandma adjusted the silverware next to her best china, wiped her hands on her apron, and thought a moment.
“You know, I never really thought about it,” she answered. “That’s how your great grandma always did it, so that’s the way it’s always been done.”
At that moment, Emily’s brother wheeled Great Grandma Smith into the house. Emily, her mother and her grandmother walked over to the matriarch, gave her a kiss on the cheek and wheeled her next to the dining room table. Emily patted her great granny on the arm and bent next to her so she could hear her question.
Mom, grandma and I were in the kitchen getting ready to cook the ham and we had a question. Why do you sliced off the ends of the ham before you put it in the roasting pan.”
“Hmph,” snorted the old woman. “I cut off the ends of it because my dang roasting pan was too small.”
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Down But Not Out
I got a reprieve from being an undertaker today. A hummingbird was lying on the patio. We knew it was not dead, but things did not look good for our little feathered friend. My spouse, CB, thought if we could get the bird in a box out of the reach of predators it might recover. If that didn’t work the box would become a coffin.
As luck would have it as soon as CB reached to place the bird in the box it sprang to life and quickly flew away. CB is a physician and I’m very spiritual – but we did not practice any mystical or medical intervention. I think the bird simply regained consciousness and made a hasty exit before we could send him a bill or talk him into converting his spiritual beliefs.
CB’s attempt to place the bird in the box no doubt seemed like the actions of a predator, not a protector. None-the-less, I’m glad things turned out okay for the little hummer. Anyone who regularly reads this blog knows that this event is going to become an allegory for a lesson in life, so here it is.
It is impossible to go through life without encountering difficulties. From a baby’s first cry to the last dying breath, the human experience involves a series of struggles. While encountering challenges is an inherent part of life, it is not so much the problems, but the attitude you take while facing these difficulties that shapes how you view the world.
In short, it is not about how many times we get knocked down that counts. It is how many times we get back up.
I was recently featured on the Chris Treece internet radio show. Chris told me that he lost everything he owned due to a ravaging flood in Tennessee last year. In a 13-hour time frame his house, his car, his belongs and his business were ruined. Yet he manages to keep an upbeat attitude. He focused on what he did have – his health and his life. He got knocked down, but he got back up. His life is a source of inspiration.
It would make sense that an energetic and optimistic approach to life would produce better results, but that is easier said than done. If it were simply a matter of flipping a switch to receive a positive or negative attitude, most folks would opt for former.
However, even if you aren't an optimistic person, you can learn how to develop a better mindset. Overcoming suffering was the inspiration for the book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. My friend and co-author Jacqueline Howard wrote it to shine a little more light in the world. Is it a quick fix? No. But if you read it and follow the suggestions and steps you will learn how to live a happier life.
"I’m not negative,” you may say to yourself (or out loud). “I’m just being realistic.” Maybe so, but, if that “realistic” approach has resulted in some depressing results and evolved into a downright unhappy life, perhaps it’s time to consider a new, happier perspective.
Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within is a simple guide to recognize and diffuse negative behavior and replace it with a positive approach. No one is born negative, it is an acquired habit. Whether you were raised in a negative household, or acquired a downbeat demeanor after a lifetime of disappointments, it was a habit you learned. Perhaps your realistic approach (the one your friends and family call negative) has been a shield against the worst of life. After all, if you prepare and expect the worst, it will reduce the painful effect that most assuredly will follow. Unfortunately, this approach comes with some depressing results – a disapproving mindset, negative results and an unhappy life.
If you are ready to make a positive change in your life, contact me through the blog or my website www.erasenegativity.com and order the book. If you mention the blog, or any of the recent radio shows I’ve been on, I’ll autograph it and pay for the shipping and handling costs.
Our goal is to help as many people as we can embrace a happier life. So why not trade in the sad refrain of “Nobody loves me everybody hates me I’m going to go eat worms?” You can learn some important tips on erasing negativity, embracing happiness, and then, like the hummingbird, go merrily on your way.
As luck would have it as soon as CB reached to place the bird in the box it sprang to life and quickly flew away. CB is a physician and I’m very spiritual – but we did not practice any mystical or medical intervention. I think the bird simply regained consciousness and made a hasty exit before we could send him a bill or talk him into converting his spiritual beliefs.
CB’s attempt to place the bird in the box no doubt seemed like the actions of a predator, not a protector. None-the-less, I’m glad things turned out okay for the little hummer. Anyone who regularly reads this blog knows that this event is going to become an allegory for a lesson in life, so here it is.
It is impossible to go through life without encountering difficulties. From a baby’s first cry to the last dying breath, the human experience involves a series of struggles. While encountering challenges is an inherent part of life, it is not so much the problems, but the attitude you take while facing these difficulties that shapes how you view the world.
In short, it is not about how many times we get knocked down that counts. It is how many times we get back up.
I was recently featured on the Chris Treece internet radio show. Chris told me that he lost everything he owned due to a ravaging flood in Tennessee last year. In a 13-hour time frame his house, his car, his belongs and his business were ruined. Yet he manages to keep an upbeat attitude. He focused on what he did have – his health and his life. He got knocked down, but he got back up. His life is a source of inspiration.
It would make sense that an energetic and optimistic approach to life would produce better results, but that is easier said than done. If it were simply a matter of flipping a switch to receive a positive or negative attitude, most folks would opt for former.
However, even if you aren't an optimistic person, you can learn how to develop a better mindset. Overcoming suffering was the inspiration for the book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. My friend and co-author Jacqueline Howard wrote it to shine a little more light in the world. Is it a quick fix? No. But if you read it and follow the suggestions and steps you will learn how to live a happier life.
"I’m not negative,” you may say to yourself (or out loud). “I’m just being realistic.” Maybe so, but, if that “realistic” approach has resulted in some depressing results and evolved into a downright unhappy life, perhaps it’s time to consider a new, happier perspective.
Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within is a simple guide to recognize and diffuse negative behavior and replace it with a positive approach. No one is born negative, it is an acquired habit. Whether you were raised in a negative household, or acquired a downbeat demeanor after a lifetime of disappointments, it was a habit you learned. Perhaps your realistic approach (the one your friends and family call negative) has been a shield against the worst of life. After all, if you prepare and expect the worst, it will reduce the painful effect that most assuredly will follow. Unfortunately, this approach comes with some depressing results – a disapproving mindset, negative results and an unhappy life.
If you are ready to make a positive change in your life, contact me through the blog or my website www.erasenegativity.com and order the book. If you mention the blog, or any of the recent radio shows I’ve been on, I’ll autograph it and pay for the shipping and handling costs.
Our goal is to help as many people as we can embrace a happier life. So why not trade in the sad refrain of “Nobody loves me everybody hates me I’m going to go eat worms?” You can learn some important tips on erasing negativity, embracing happiness, and then, like the hummingbird, go merrily on your way.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Student of Happiness
I returned to my alma mater today. I gave my spouse, CB, a ride to school. Instead of grabbing a cup of coffee, I chose to hang out near the music building and use the venue to write. I spend a lot of time in my home office, so sometimes it’s helpful to have a change of scenery.
I graduated from community college in 1985. It was an 11-year process for me to earn a two-year degree. I’m sure many folks thought I’d never finish. But, if I am anything, I am persistent. Once I moved on to Arizona State University it took me three more years to earn my Bachelor's degree in journalism. In total, it took me 14 years to earn a four-year degree. However, in my defense, I gave birth to both of my daughters, worked part time and still kept up with my responsibilities of being a wife, parent and volunteer.
If I had gone to school full time during that period and concentrated on medicine, I could have done something more prestigious, like become an orthopedic surgeon. Instead of wielding a scalpel, I have a pen and computer. I do not have a MD after my name, but I am a healer of sorts. That is why I decided to co-write the self-help book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. My co-author, Jackie, and I saw people in pain and we decided to do something to help.
It all started when Jackie and I were discussing some of our favorite self-improvement books and how they had helped us. Then the conversation shifted to people we knew who were in terrible emotional pain and very negative because of it. We wondered, “What would it take to help someone like that?” We brainstormed and decided that there needed to be some sort of primer, or “read this first” book that could help them erase their negativity. Then once they were no longer entrenched in negativity, they could go on and enjoy the optimistic messages in other books. Our thought was that if a person doesn’t erase their negativity first, any optimistic front would just fall apart.
I’ll be honest, sometimes ongoing education is a pain. After my marathon process to earn a Bachelor’s degree, it was years before I wanted to park my butt on one of those uncomfortable little wooden desks and listen to a lecture again. But I did. I also learn in other ways such as webinars, reading, attending lectures etc. Like it or not, we are always learning new things. Sometimes we continue the educational process by replaying old, negative messages about our past. That is about as useful as studying for a urine test. But I digress.
Whether or not you are in a classroom, learning is a life-long process. For instance, Jackie and I chose to focus our energy on the topic of erasing negativity. Why? Because negativity is a killer of happiness, a robber of the spirit and the best friend of despair. No one is born negative (although I’ve met some crabby babies.) Pessimism is a habit we learned. The good news is we can take steps to erase negative thoughts, speech and actions and concentrate on replacing those nasty tendencies and replace it with more empowering alternatives.
That is why I’m reaching out to individuals to offer a free, 30-minute phone consultation to the first five individuals who qualify for this offer (yes I make you fill out a form, but it is not a big deal.) Please contact me through my blog, www.erasenegativity.blogspot.com, website, www.erasenegativity.com or email me at MarksPR@cox.net and let me know if you are interested.
Forget about the old cliché about you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. There is no time like the present to begin a new journey toward a happier, magical life. I look forward to hearing from you. Now go home. Class dismissed.
I graduated from community college in 1985. It was an 11-year process for me to earn a two-year degree. I’m sure many folks thought I’d never finish. But, if I am anything, I am persistent. Once I moved on to Arizona State University it took me three more years to earn my Bachelor's degree in journalism. In total, it took me 14 years to earn a four-year degree. However, in my defense, I gave birth to both of my daughters, worked part time and still kept up with my responsibilities of being a wife, parent and volunteer.
If I had gone to school full time during that period and concentrated on medicine, I could have done something more prestigious, like become an orthopedic surgeon. Instead of wielding a scalpel, I have a pen and computer. I do not have a MD after my name, but I am a healer of sorts. That is why I decided to co-write the self-help book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. My co-author, Jackie, and I saw people in pain and we decided to do something to help.
It all started when Jackie and I were discussing some of our favorite self-improvement books and how they had helped us. Then the conversation shifted to people we knew who were in terrible emotional pain and very negative because of it. We wondered, “What would it take to help someone like that?” We brainstormed and decided that there needed to be some sort of primer, or “read this first” book that could help them erase their negativity. Then once they were no longer entrenched in negativity, they could go on and enjoy the optimistic messages in other books. Our thought was that if a person doesn’t erase their negativity first, any optimistic front would just fall apart.
I’ll be honest, sometimes ongoing education is a pain. After my marathon process to earn a Bachelor’s degree, it was years before I wanted to park my butt on one of those uncomfortable little wooden desks and listen to a lecture again. But I did. I also learn in other ways such as webinars, reading, attending lectures etc. Like it or not, we are always learning new things. Sometimes we continue the educational process by replaying old, negative messages about our past. That is about as useful as studying for a urine test. But I digress.
Whether or not you are in a classroom, learning is a life-long process. For instance, Jackie and I chose to focus our energy on the topic of erasing negativity. Why? Because negativity is a killer of happiness, a robber of the spirit and the best friend of despair. No one is born negative (although I’ve met some crabby babies.) Pessimism is a habit we learned. The good news is we can take steps to erase negative thoughts, speech and actions and concentrate on replacing those nasty tendencies and replace it with more empowering alternatives.
That is why I’m reaching out to individuals to offer a free, 30-minute phone consultation to the first five individuals who qualify for this offer (yes I make you fill out a form, but it is not a big deal.) Please contact me through my blog, www.erasenegativity.blogspot.com, website, www.erasenegativity.com or email me at MarksPR@cox.net and let me know if you are interested.
Forget about the old cliché about you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. There is no time like the present to begin a new journey toward a happier, magical life. I look forward to hearing from you. Now go home. Class dismissed.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Attracting Meeyons!
I have been a student of the Law of Attraction for a few years now and it still astounds me how a small shift in thinking can have such dynamic results. I’ve been crazy busy trying to get the word out about my book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within, as well as get it into stores. There were times when I felt I was trying to open doors by pounding my head against them. It’s no wonder I have migraines.
I’ve sold and given away about as many of my books as I could to friends and family and now I’m faced with the fact that I now have to sell books to people who don’t know me. Of course this is going to be difficult. That is what everybody says, right? Even though I know the message in the book is desperately needed, there is that little nasty little insecure part of me that thinks the only people who will buy this book are people who feel obliged to do so because they know (or feel sorry) for me.
What a bunch of crap!
Most of the time I know better than this, but every once in a while my brain pulls out insecure garbage from the recesses of my brain and taunts me with old messages of unworthiness. In the past, I would listen to these messages. Heck, I invited them in and turned up the volume. I added new twists to my story of woe. It’s like watching the History Channel, except the history is my own short comings.
Now I change the channel and focus on more optimistic messages. And guess what? I’m being invited to speak to new audiences, stores are asking for my book, and perfect strangers are plunking down their hard-earned cash to buy a copy or two.
Today, two stores, SW Herb (www.swherb.com) and Dragonstar Gifts (www.dragonstargifts.com) bought copies of my book and plan to keep it in stock.
Before I was out of the first store, one woman picked up my book and started asking the owner about it. The customer loved the cover and talked about how she was sure she had seen the book somewhere. A part of me was thinking, “Oh she is mistaken.” But then I thought, “Duh, Sally, you have been pounding the pavement, airways, internet and everything else about this book. Don’t you think someone is going to recognize it?”
Of course my granddaughter, Rosannah, who is 3 years old, always points to my book and says “Grandma’s millions.” She can’t say erase negativity, but she likes the word millions (pronounced meeyons) and concentrates on that. Ah, the kid still wears a diaper but she knows that the word millions is much more positive than negativity. No one has trained her that you have to bust your butt, bang your head or cry a river of tears to be successful in life. In Rosannah’s world, Grandma is going to sell millions of copies of her book and that is that.
We grownups (or anyone old enough to read this) all experience problems. But what about the extra roadblocks we throw in our own path when we have self-defeating thoughts such as “I’m not good enough to be happy, successful etc, because (fill in the blank.) When we have these kinds of thoughts is it any wonder that we aren’t achieving our dreams?
Of course my co-author, Jackie, and I wrote the book to help people erase their negativity. We lived through our own issues and wanted to share what we learned on embracing optimism. We also need to remind ourselves that erasing negativity is an ongoing effort.
Anyway, every time I had doubts that I would be able to sell the book, I concentrated on the importance of the message, and not on all the naysayers who assert that it can’t be done. Guess what? It’s working. People are buying the book, reading it and spreading the word that there are simple tools that can help erase negative habits.
So here is my message for today. Concentrate on the gifts you can share with the world. Whether it’s a song, a book, a painting or simply a smile, you can make a difference. One by one we can erase the negativity in our lives. Perhaps one day life will be more like it is for Rosannah who doesn’t grasp the meaning of negativity, but knows that when she talks about “meeyons” she can make everyone in the room smile.
Also, if you get a chance, be sure to watch me on AZTV on Monday, Jan. 31 from 9 to 10 a.m., or watch for the clip on my website, www.erasenegativity.com.
I’ve sold and given away about as many of my books as I could to friends and family and now I’m faced with the fact that I now have to sell books to people who don’t know me. Of course this is going to be difficult. That is what everybody says, right? Even though I know the message in the book is desperately needed, there is that little nasty little insecure part of me that thinks the only people who will buy this book are people who feel obliged to do so because they know (or feel sorry) for me.
What a bunch of crap!
Most of the time I know better than this, but every once in a while my brain pulls out insecure garbage from the recesses of my brain and taunts me with old messages of unworthiness. In the past, I would listen to these messages. Heck, I invited them in and turned up the volume. I added new twists to my story of woe. It’s like watching the History Channel, except the history is my own short comings.
Now I change the channel and focus on more optimistic messages. And guess what? I’m being invited to speak to new audiences, stores are asking for my book, and perfect strangers are plunking down their hard-earned cash to buy a copy or two.
Today, two stores, SW Herb (www.swherb.com) and Dragonstar Gifts (www.dragonstargifts.com) bought copies of my book and plan to keep it in stock.
Before I was out of the first store, one woman picked up my book and started asking the owner about it. The customer loved the cover and talked about how she was sure she had seen the book somewhere. A part of me was thinking, “Oh she is mistaken.” But then I thought, “Duh, Sally, you have been pounding the pavement, airways, internet and everything else about this book. Don’t you think someone is going to recognize it?”
Of course my granddaughter, Rosannah, who is 3 years old, always points to my book and says “Grandma’s millions.” She can’t say erase negativity, but she likes the word millions (pronounced meeyons) and concentrates on that. Ah, the kid still wears a diaper but she knows that the word millions is much more positive than negativity. No one has trained her that you have to bust your butt, bang your head or cry a river of tears to be successful in life. In Rosannah’s world, Grandma is going to sell millions of copies of her book and that is that.
We grownups (or anyone old enough to read this) all experience problems. But what about the extra roadblocks we throw in our own path when we have self-defeating thoughts such as “I’m not good enough to be happy, successful etc, because (fill in the blank.) When we have these kinds of thoughts is it any wonder that we aren’t achieving our dreams?
Of course my co-author, Jackie, and I wrote the book to help people erase their negativity. We lived through our own issues and wanted to share what we learned on embracing optimism. We also need to remind ourselves that erasing negativity is an ongoing effort.
Anyway, every time I had doubts that I would be able to sell the book, I concentrated on the importance of the message, and not on all the naysayers who assert that it can’t be done. Guess what? It’s working. People are buying the book, reading it and spreading the word that there are simple tools that can help erase negative habits.
So here is my message for today. Concentrate on the gifts you can share with the world. Whether it’s a song, a book, a painting or simply a smile, you can make a difference. One by one we can erase the negativity in our lives. Perhaps one day life will be more like it is for Rosannah who doesn’t grasp the meaning of negativity, but knows that when she talks about “meeyons” she can make everyone in the room smile.
Also, if you get a chance, be sure to watch me on AZTV on Monday, Jan. 31 from 9 to 10 a.m., or watch for the clip on my website, www.erasenegativity.com.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
How about a Happiness Check?
When I was a little girl I loved to play “pretend.” I imagined lots of different scenarios from being the first female baseball player for the Chicago Cubs to flying like Superman. I had a friend, Teresa, who would pretend with me. We also put on little performances. I only have a vague recollection of the entertainment, but I do remember singing, “Side by Side,” by Harry Lucas. It was written the year my mother was born, so it was an oldie even when I was a youngster. My favorite chorus was:
Oh, we ain't got a barrel of money,
Maybe we're ragged and funny
But we'll travel along
Singing a song
Side by side.
On more than one occasion I got in trouble for my over active imagination, although never from my parents. Mom and Dad encouraged creativity and even differing points of view. This mindset was not held in esteem by most of my teachers, but I believe my fanciful thinking has served me well. Now I find that visualizing happy scenarios and thinking “outside the box” are seen as empowering and desirable.
There are so many great books about the Law of Attraction, visualization techniques and creative thinking that I do not feel the need to describe the benefits. However, I DO think it’s important to remind people to have joyful, empowering thoughts. Not only can we manifest our dreams, it’s just downright fun.
I was talking to a friend of mine and I told her I like to stroll through shopping centers and pretend I’m famous. I even have a shirt that says: “Nobody Knows I’m Famous.” Anyway, on these little joyful jaunts I look around and I think, “These folks have no idea that I’m the famous Sally Marks.” I smile and meander along, content in my success, as well as my ability to outsmart the paparazzi (who mystically never seem to recognize me either!)
Before you call to have me taken away ha ha to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time..” (try googling Napoleon XIV for the rest of the lyrics), please know that I’m playful, but completely sane.
Another diversion is the singing game. My book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within, was recently released and I occasionally receive checks for it. Every day I go to the mailbox and I sing, “Checks in the mail, checks in the mail. I love it when I get checks in the mail.” It certainly is better than crying “Stinky bills. Stinky bills. I don’t want more stinking bills.”
For several days in a row I sang my little “checks in the mail” song, and lo and behold, I received checks in the mail. Some were expected payments, some were not. One day I had a very strong intuition that I received a whole STACK of checks. I took a deep breath and smiled. I could just feel a stack of checks waiting for me in the mailbox.
And there were.
Unfortunately they came in a box with a new check register. I completely forgot I had ordered checks a couple weeks before.
I told the story to my siblings, niece and nephews at a family get together. My niece, Ashley, sang a new version: “Checks I can cash. Checks I can cash. I love it when I get checks I can cash.” So I’ve learned to be more specific and vary my lyrics a bit.
The point I’m making is we all have imaginations. Unfortunately, when many of us get older we no longer create fun and loving scenarios. We fill our minds with visions of gloom and doom. The average person has 40,000 to 65,000 thoughts a day. Guess what percentage of those thoughts are negative? A whopping 95% ! We haven’t forgotten how to pretend, it’s just we’re focusing on manufacturing stinky, dismal scenarios. So I ask, who is crazier, the person pretending to be famous, or the one who is imagining they are going to get hit by a bus?
The good news is we do have the power to change our minds. That is why I encourage folks to follow the first three steps in my book.
1. Become aware of the negativity in your life.
2. Replace negative thoughts, speech and actions with a positive alternative.
3. Smile. Even when you don’t want to.
And I’d like to add one more tip to the list. Imagine happier events in your life.
Just like when I was singing with Teresa, you may not have a barrel of money, but if you continue to laugh, sing and imagine better things, you can create more positive events in your life. And if you want to make my dreams come true, buy a few copies of my book so I can enjoy watching my postal carrier shake his head in confusion when I sing my check cashing song.
But most important of all is the song I always have in my heart as I imagine all of you side by side learning how to erase negativity and embrace the magic within.
Oh, we ain't got a barrel of money,
Maybe we're ragged and funny
But we'll travel along
Singing a song
Side by side.
On more than one occasion I got in trouble for my over active imagination, although never from my parents. Mom and Dad encouraged creativity and even differing points of view. This mindset was not held in esteem by most of my teachers, but I believe my fanciful thinking has served me well. Now I find that visualizing happy scenarios and thinking “outside the box” are seen as empowering and desirable.
There are so many great books about the Law of Attraction, visualization techniques and creative thinking that I do not feel the need to describe the benefits. However, I DO think it’s important to remind people to have joyful, empowering thoughts. Not only can we manifest our dreams, it’s just downright fun.
I was talking to a friend of mine and I told her I like to stroll through shopping centers and pretend I’m famous. I even have a shirt that says: “Nobody Knows I’m Famous.” Anyway, on these little joyful jaunts I look around and I think, “These folks have no idea that I’m the famous Sally Marks.” I smile and meander along, content in my success, as well as my ability to outsmart the paparazzi (who mystically never seem to recognize me either!)
Before you call to have me taken away ha ha to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time..” (try googling Napoleon XIV for the rest of the lyrics), please know that I’m playful, but completely sane.
Another diversion is the singing game. My book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within, was recently released and I occasionally receive checks for it. Every day I go to the mailbox and I sing, “Checks in the mail, checks in the mail. I love it when I get checks in the mail.” It certainly is better than crying “Stinky bills. Stinky bills. I don’t want more stinking bills.”
For several days in a row I sang my little “checks in the mail” song, and lo and behold, I received checks in the mail. Some were expected payments, some were not. One day I had a very strong intuition that I received a whole STACK of checks. I took a deep breath and smiled. I could just feel a stack of checks waiting for me in the mailbox.
And there were.
Unfortunately they came in a box with a new check register. I completely forgot I had ordered checks a couple weeks before.
I told the story to my siblings, niece and nephews at a family get together. My niece, Ashley, sang a new version: “Checks I can cash. Checks I can cash. I love it when I get checks I can cash.” So I’ve learned to be more specific and vary my lyrics a bit.
The point I’m making is we all have imaginations. Unfortunately, when many of us get older we no longer create fun and loving scenarios. We fill our minds with visions of gloom and doom. The average person has 40,000 to 65,000 thoughts a day. Guess what percentage of those thoughts are negative? A whopping 95% ! We haven’t forgotten how to pretend, it’s just we’re focusing on manufacturing stinky, dismal scenarios. So I ask, who is crazier, the person pretending to be famous, or the one who is imagining they are going to get hit by a bus?
The good news is we do have the power to change our minds. That is why I encourage folks to follow the first three steps in my book.
1. Become aware of the negativity in your life.
2. Replace negative thoughts, speech and actions with a positive alternative.
3. Smile. Even when you don’t want to.
And I’d like to add one more tip to the list. Imagine happier events in your life.
Just like when I was singing with Teresa, you may not have a barrel of money, but if you continue to laugh, sing and imagine better things, you can create more positive events in your life. And if you want to make my dreams come true, buy a few copies of my book so I can enjoy watching my postal carrier shake his head in confusion when I sing my check cashing song.
But most important of all is the song I always have in my heart as I imagine all of you side by side learning how to erase negativity and embrace the magic within.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Erase Negativity Gets Stunning Review
Yesterday was an awesome day. After months of persistent efforts my book, Erase Negativity and Erase the Magic Within, had a breakthrough. There is a stunning review about the book on the following websites: www.amazon.com; www.barnesandnoble.com; www.livingsocial.com and www.realityshifters.com. I have reprinted it here for your convenience. Woohoo!
Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within
by Sally Marks and Jacqueline Howard
Master the Keys to Positively Transforming Your Life
Erase Negativity is a powerhouse of a self-help book. It features eleven chapters describing life lessons mastered by people who've overcome extraordinary challenges. The big idea here is that no matter what terrible things may have happened in life, it is always possible to start from exactly where we are, and begin moving in a positive direction toward the life of our dreams.
The first couple of chapters of Erase Negativity may seem shocking, as they describe how it feels to pull oneself up by the proverbial bootstraps while "emerging from the depths of hell," such as an addiction to drugs, alcohol, or cycles of emotional and physical abuse. I was deeply moved to read heartfelt stories of people who have truly hit rock bottom, and managed later to set and achieve positive goals. It's inspirational to read how people have bounced back from a wide variety of horrendous situations, and managed to get unstuck from complacency. There is greatness possible for each and every one of us, regardless what handicaps, constraints, and misfortune may have occurred.
I love the format of this book, as each chapter starts with a biographical story that illustrates the tools required at each person's turning point. The end of each chapter summarizes the main points in the form of exercises first for erasing negativity... and then for embracing "the magic within." The magic referred to is spiritual, intuitive, and energetic in nature, rather than a form of magick or witchcraft.
The life-transforming tips provided in Erase Negativity include feng shui, keeping a running total of positive to negative thoughts, affirmations, stepping out of the victim mindset, setting positive goals, choosing supportive friends, eliminating gossip, and practicing mindfulness. These concepts are much more than mere words on a page, as real life accounts of what a difference they have made are described eloquently.
I feel deeply honored to be one of the eleven people interviewed for Erase Negativity, and I sincerely hope that my story will resonate with readers in ways that help them gain additional strength to succeed in life.
Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within is the best summary of how to live a positive life that I've yet found in a self-help book; I give this book my highest recommendation!
Cynthia Sue Larson is an Amazon Top 500 Reviewer, an author, life coach, intuitive strategic visionary and a bioenergetic field researcher. However, right now I see her as a fantastic person who just gave the book a huge boost. Thank you Cynthia Sue! And to my other friends and supporters, feel free to post your own review. Every little bit helps.
Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within
by Sally Marks and Jacqueline Howard
Master the Keys to Positively Transforming Your Life
Erase Negativity is a powerhouse of a self-help book. It features eleven chapters describing life lessons mastered by people who've overcome extraordinary challenges. The big idea here is that no matter what terrible things may have happened in life, it is always possible to start from exactly where we are, and begin moving in a positive direction toward the life of our dreams.
The first couple of chapters of Erase Negativity may seem shocking, as they describe how it feels to pull oneself up by the proverbial bootstraps while "emerging from the depths of hell," such as an addiction to drugs, alcohol, or cycles of emotional and physical abuse. I was deeply moved to read heartfelt stories of people who have truly hit rock bottom, and managed later to set and achieve positive goals. It's inspirational to read how people have bounced back from a wide variety of horrendous situations, and managed to get unstuck from complacency. There is greatness possible for each and every one of us, regardless what handicaps, constraints, and misfortune may have occurred.
I love the format of this book, as each chapter starts with a biographical story that illustrates the tools required at each person's turning point. The end of each chapter summarizes the main points in the form of exercises first for erasing negativity... and then for embracing "the magic within." The magic referred to is spiritual, intuitive, and energetic in nature, rather than a form of magick or witchcraft.
The life-transforming tips provided in Erase Negativity include feng shui, keeping a running total of positive to negative thoughts, affirmations, stepping out of the victim mindset, setting positive goals, choosing supportive friends, eliminating gossip, and practicing mindfulness. These concepts are much more than mere words on a page, as real life accounts of what a difference they have made are described eloquently.
I feel deeply honored to be one of the eleven people interviewed for Erase Negativity, and I sincerely hope that my story will resonate with readers in ways that help them gain additional strength to succeed in life.
Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within is the best summary of how to live a positive life that I've yet found in a self-help book; I give this book my highest recommendation!
Cynthia Sue Larson is an Amazon Top 500 Reviewer, an author, life coach, intuitive strategic visionary and a bioenergetic field researcher. However, right now I see her as a fantastic person who just gave the book a huge boost. Thank you Cynthia Sue! And to my other friends and supporters, feel free to post your own review. Every little bit helps.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Another Christmas Memory
It’s been a busy holiday season and my blog has featured two “rerun” posts. I don’t think that is a bad thing. I may make it an annual tradition. But today I thought I should write something new. For me, Christmas is a time of joy, but it is also a time of reflection. I can’t help but think of past holidays.
My blog on the unwanted Christmas tree was a memorable experience (see the entry on Dec. 6.) As a child, there was definitely a magical feeling at Christmas time. Of course I looked forward to giving and receiving presents, but there was more to it than that. I think I was too young to analyze it. I just loved the way I felt during this joyous time.
Later, when I became a wife and mother, the magical feeling intensified as I had two daughters and a husband to share the holidays with. One memorable moment was when my daughter, Alicia was 6 years old and her little sister, Brittany was 2 or 3. Alicia had excitedly been chattering away about Santa Claus, reindeer and presents.
Even though Brittany was still in diapers, she had a healthy dose of skepticism. She did not like sitting on Santa Claus’ lap, I sensed she knew his beard was fake, and I think she thought her sister was pulling her leg about the whole Christmas thing. We weren’t poor, but we didn’t have a lot of extra money either. The idea of a bunch of toys under the tree seemed too much of a stretch. Brit knew we couldn’t afford to buy all the things she saw advertised on TV (I used this “can’t afford it” line a lot when they wanted stuff at the store.)
Still, I’m sure, she was hopeful.
Christmas morning I remember waiting in bed for the girls to stir so we could begin our holiday. John and I waited and waited. Why were they so quiet? “How could they wait so long?” I wondered. The truth of the matter was they were awake. Brittany had joined her sister in Alicia’s bedroom and they were waiting for us to get out of bed. They usually weren’t that considerate, but hey, who wants to take a chance of messing up on Christmas morning?
Neither girl had ventured out of the bedroom to peak under the Christmas tree in the living room. The night before there were a couple presents for Grandma and Grandpa and maybe a relative or two, but nothing from Santa Claus. At least not yet. We told the girls it was okay to get up and take a peak.
Alicia was ready for the festivities to begin and she slowly ushered her little sister toward the living room and the Christmas tree. I will never forget this moment. Alicia knew the drill. She knew Santa would come. Brittany, however, was skeptical. She didn’t remember last year’s holiday. She was only a baby. I could just imagine her thought process. “All year long we don’t get any toys except for our birthdays, why would we get a bunch now?”
The girls peaked around the corner and low and behold, beneath the Christmas tree were stacks of toys. Only the night before there were only a couple of presents and they were designated for others.
Brittany’s eyes were filled with amazement and awe. She seemed to be thinking, “Could this possibly be true?” She was filled with the magic of Christmas. Alicia had a more “knowing” quality as she took in the sight. She knew great things happened on Christmas, and now she had a little sister to share the holiday with – even if the little tyke was a bit skeptical.
What the girls did not know is there had been a Santa Claus of sorts. We had enough money for a few presents, but certainly not that many. However, my Aunt Liz and her husband Ernie, had a good year. The childless couple decided to give their struggling nieces and nephews an added bonus, a check for $100. We received it in time to buy extra gifts for the girls, including a few things that we knew our daughters wanted, but we could not afford to give them.
Of course I think the girls would have been happy even without the extra presents. I can safely say this because of who they have become. They are now grown women and are kind, loving and considerate human beings. Alicia is a school teacher, a wife to her husband Greg, and the mother of two children of her own. She still has that “all knowing/wise quality” about her. Brittany is a student and is happily married to Jamie. Her children are her two dogs, Piggy and Guinness. Brit is still a bit of a skeptic, but that magical moment of Christmas and hope still lives in her heart.
I don’t want to come across as a Pollyanna. I know this has been a difficult year for a lot of folks. However, if there is one thing I’ve learned, is that in spite of the difficulties we face, we must never harden our hearts. Both good things, and bad, will not last forever.
My Christmas message this year is to save a little space in your heart for hope and joy. Things may not always be perfect, but there is always the possibility of a miracle. Especially at Christmas.
Happy Holidays!
My blog on the unwanted Christmas tree was a memorable experience (see the entry on Dec. 6.) As a child, there was definitely a magical feeling at Christmas time. Of course I looked forward to giving and receiving presents, but there was more to it than that. I think I was too young to analyze it. I just loved the way I felt during this joyous time.
Later, when I became a wife and mother, the magical feeling intensified as I had two daughters and a husband to share the holidays with. One memorable moment was when my daughter, Alicia was 6 years old and her little sister, Brittany was 2 or 3. Alicia had excitedly been chattering away about Santa Claus, reindeer and presents.
Even though Brittany was still in diapers, she had a healthy dose of skepticism. She did not like sitting on Santa Claus’ lap, I sensed she knew his beard was fake, and I think she thought her sister was pulling her leg about the whole Christmas thing. We weren’t poor, but we didn’t have a lot of extra money either. The idea of a bunch of toys under the tree seemed too much of a stretch. Brit knew we couldn’t afford to buy all the things she saw advertised on TV (I used this “can’t afford it” line a lot when they wanted stuff at the store.)
Still, I’m sure, she was hopeful.
Christmas morning I remember waiting in bed for the girls to stir so we could begin our holiday. John and I waited and waited. Why were they so quiet? “How could they wait so long?” I wondered. The truth of the matter was they were awake. Brittany had joined her sister in Alicia’s bedroom and they were waiting for us to get out of bed. They usually weren’t that considerate, but hey, who wants to take a chance of messing up on Christmas morning?
Neither girl had ventured out of the bedroom to peak under the Christmas tree in the living room. The night before there were a couple presents for Grandma and Grandpa and maybe a relative or two, but nothing from Santa Claus. At least not yet. We told the girls it was okay to get up and take a peak.
Alicia was ready for the festivities to begin and she slowly ushered her little sister toward the living room and the Christmas tree. I will never forget this moment. Alicia knew the drill. She knew Santa would come. Brittany, however, was skeptical. She didn’t remember last year’s holiday. She was only a baby. I could just imagine her thought process. “All year long we don’t get any toys except for our birthdays, why would we get a bunch now?”
The girls peaked around the corner and low and behold, beneath the Christmas tree were stacks of toys. Only the night before there were only a couple of presents and they were designated for others.
Brittany’s eyes were filled with amazement and awe. She seemed to be thinking, “Could this possibly be true?” She was filled with the magic of Christmas. Alicia had a more “knowing” quality as she took in the sight. She knew great things happened on Christmas, and now she had a little sister to share the holiday with – even if the little tyke was a bit skeptical.
What the girls did not know is there had been a Santa Claus of sorts. We had enough money for a few presents, but certainly not that many. However, my Aunt Liz and her husband Ernie, had a good year. The childless couple decided to give their struggling nieces and nephews an added bonus, a check for $100. We received it in time to buy extra gifts for the girls, including a few things that we knew our daughters wanted, but we could not afford to give them.
Of course I think the girls would have been happy even without the extra presents. I can safely say this because of who they have become. They are now grown women and are kind, loving and considerate human beings. Alicia is a school teacher, a wife to her husband Greg, and the mother of two children of her own. She still has that “all knowing/wise quality” about her. Brittany is a student and is happily married to Jamie. Her children are her two dogs, Piggy and Guinness. Brit is still a bit of a skeptic, but that magical moment of Christmas and hope still lives in her heart.
I don’t want to come across as a Pollyanna. I know this has been a difficult year for a lot of folks. However, if there is one thing I’ve learned, is that in spite of the difficulties we face, we must never harden our hearts. Both good things, and bad, will not last forever.
My Christmas message this year is to save a little space in your heart for hope and joy. Things may not always be perfect, but there is always the possibility of a miracle. Especially at Christmas.
Happy Holidays!
Monday, November 29, 2010
Let Yourself Go!
I love fall. Every year I imagine feeling the cool, crisp autumn air on my face and gazing at trees as they burst into glorious colors of red, orange and gold. This is not an easy feat as Arizona is as apt to be warm than not – even in November. Most of the leaves turn brown, not gold, and fall onto the ground without fanfare.
But this year was different. My spouse, CB, and I decided to go to the Boyce Thompson Arboretum with the two grandchildren, Rosannah and Briannah. The girls are pretty young (3 and 19 months respectively) but I knew they would enjoy an excursion. We drove the 45 minutes to the arboretum and enjoyed the beautiful scenery. Once we were at our destination we saw golden leaves of Aspen, the red leaves of the Pistachio trees, as well as the sights, smells and sounds of autumn.
I make frequent trips to this site, but this time it was the most beautiful I have ever seen it. Of course it was even more special because CB and I were sharing it with the girls.
We navigated through the hilly terrain (it’s hilly if you are pushing two tykes in a double stroller), as well as over bridges and a narrow pathway alongside a stream. It was gorgeous. Once we arrived home my daughter asked her girls what her favorite part of the trip was. Her answer was not of beautiful sites (although she did talk about a beautiful house that we thought looked like a castle and had the possibility of a princess living there.)
Rosannah was excited that she peed in the potty. The toilet training has been a bit slow, but this was a significant feat because she has never used a public toilet before. Try saying “Pee pee in the public potty” five times fast. But I digress.
The fact is most of us get a shot of self esteem when we accomplish something significant. The temperature was deliciously cool, the air fragrant and the colors magnificent, but the one thing that Rosannah accomplished on her own was the potty peeing procedure.
Now most of you reading this are not going to brag about going to the bathroom by yourself. It’s something we take for granted (except when camping when I thank the heavens for flushing commodes.) But this was a new experience for my 3-year-old granddaughter.
So I have a challenge for all of you. I propose you go on a negativity diet and bolster your self esteem by eliminating some negativity from your life. This is no small matter. Reducing your negativity can increase your happiness and improve your health. Why? Consider this.
• The average person has 40,000 to 65,000 thoughts a day and 95% of those thoughts are negative.
• Developing a happier mindset can increase chemical reactions that can calm anxiety, relieve depression, promote alertness and increase enjoyment.
• Happy people are 35% less likely to get a cold and produce 50% more antibodies in response to flu vaccines than the average person.
• Individuals who score high on happiness and optimism scale have reduced risk of cardiovascular disease, hypertension and infections.
• People who maintain a good sense of humor (an indication of inner happiness) outlive those who don’t. No wonder so many comedians live well into their 80s and 90s.
In our book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within, we offer tips on how to erase negativity from your life. I will also be writing more about the subject in future blogs.
If you haven’t had a chance to buy the book, it’s available on Amazon, or by contacting me through the blog, or emailing comicsall@gmail.com.
So don’t hang onto that negativity any longer. Be like Rosannah and enjoy the feeling of letting yourself “go” and sending the stinky stuff into the toilet where it belongs.
But this year was different. My spouse, CB, and I decided to go to the Boyce Thompson Arboretum with the two grandchildren, Rosannah and Briannah. The girls are pretty young (3 and 19 months respectively) but I knew they would enjoy an excursion. We drove the 45 minutes to the arboretum and enjoyed the beautiful scenery. Once we were at our destination we saw golden leaves of Aspen, the red leaves of the Pistachio trees, as well as the sights, smells and sounds of autumn.
I make frequent trips to this site, but this time it was the most beautiful I have ever seen it. Of course it was even more special because CB and I were sharing it with the girls.
We navigated through the hilly terrain (it’s hilly if you are pushing two tykes in a double stroller), as well as over bridges and a narrow pathway alongside a stream. It was gorgeous. Once we arrived home my daughter asked her girls what her favorite part of the trip was. Her answer was not of beautiful sites (although she did talk about a beautiful house that we thought looked like a castle and had the possibility of a princess living there.)
Rosannah was excited that she peed in the potty. The toilet training has been a bit slow, but this was a significant feat because she has never used a public toilet before. Try saying “Pee pee in the public potty” five times fast. But I digress.
The fact is most of us get a shot of self esteem when we accomplish something significant. The temperature was deliciously cool, the air fragrant and the colors magnificent, but the one thing that Rosannah accomplished on her own was the potty peeing procedure.
Now most of you reading this are not going to brag about going to the bathroom by yourself. It’s something we take for granted (except when camping when I thank the heavens for flushing commodes.) But this was a new experience for my 3-year-old granddaughter.
So I have a challenge for all of you. I propose you go on a negativity diet and bolster your self esteem by eliminating some negativity from your life. This is no small matter. Reducing your negativity can increase your happiness and improve your health. Why? Consider this.
• The average person has 40,000 to 65,000 thoughts a day and 95% of those thoughts are negative.
• Developing a happier mindset can increase chemical reactions that can calm anxiety, relieve depression, promote alertness and increase enjoyment.
• Happy people are 35% less likely to get a cold and produce 50% more antibodies in response to flu vaccines than the average person.
• Individuals who score high on happiness and optimism scale have reduced risk of cardiovascular disease, hypertension and infections.
• People who maintain a good sense of humor (an indication of inner happiness) outlive those who don’t. No wonder so many comedians live well into their 80s and 90s.
In our book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within, we offer tips on how to erase negativity from your life. I will also be writing more about the subject in future blogs.
If you haven’t had a chance to buy the book, it’s available on Amazon, or by contacting me through the blog, or emailing comicsall@gmail.com.
So don’t hang onto that negativity any longer. Be like Rosannah and enjoy the feeling of letting yourself “go” and sending the stinky stuff into the toilet where it belongs.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Please Pass Some Love with those Mashed Potatos
I received a comment about my blog from someone I never met in Sydney Australia. She came across one of my earlier posts called “Laser Beams of Love” that I also released as a free online article. It still astounds me how the small actions we do can have an effect on others – whether we interact with them on a regular basis, or a chance encounter via cyberspace.
She wrote:
I randomly came across this post on google. The part where the little girl put your hand to her heart was amazing. I have two beautiful children and they are also a wonderful reminder of this miracle we call life. Thank you so much for sharing. This story really touched my heart.
Tara
Sydney, Australia
One of the reasons I decided to become a writer is I wanted to make a positive difference in the world. While I did my best as a mother, daughter, friend, co-worker and wife, I still had a burning desire to create a positive difference for people I may never meet. Hearing from Tara was one example of how my dream is coming true.
For those of you who read my blog on a regular basis, you know that helping others is the reason I co-wrote my newly released self-help book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. I wanted to reach out in a different way and share stories, as well as a little advice, on how to defeat negativity and enjoy life.
I gave my first talk and book signing last week on “Coping with Negative Relatives during the Holidays” at Mystic Moon Bookstore in Scottsdale. The event was put together quickly to coincide with my first TV appearance on ABC’s Sonoran Living. There was a $10 fee for the class and we needed a minimum of 3 people for the show to go on. In these tough financial times I wasn’t sure I would be able to pull it off. I’m not well known yet and I have been exhausting my friends, family and facebook network to support me. I jokingly say most of my friends and family would rather pay $10 to shut me up than to listen to me talk!
However, nine folks came through for me and the show did go on. They also supported me further by purchasing copies of the book, as well as some additional items from Mystic Moon Bookstore. Using my critical analysis I know that the TV segment and the talk were good efforts, but not perfect. I have my homework cut out for me. I know I will improve.
But that is not the point.
During the talk, and the TV show, I knew I was living my dream to create a happier niche in the world. However, it wasn’t a one-way street. Others were energetically sending me support as well (even though they may not have been aware of it.) Like the article I wrote in “Laser Beams of Love” I felt a reciprocal surge of loving energy from the process. And not only human to human, I felt something more mystical, as if the universe were assisting the process as well. Both experiences had a magical quality to them. At least for me.
Probably all encounters, even those we consider mundane, can have a magical result. We just need to elevate our minds and open our hearts to the experience.
Which brings me to my final point.
Next week is Thanksgiving. Many of us will have the opportunity to dine with family and friends for a special once-a-year meal. Many look forward to this event with anticipation – some with dread. And I confess, in my life I have approached this holiday with both mindsets.
My advice for this pre holiday event is to try to take a moment and find the love in your heart and send those laser beams of love out to those around you – especially those who annoy you. While we might not think so now, there will come a time when they are out of our lives and we will miss them. And more importantly, we do not want to miss the opportunity to summon up a little love and shine a little light in the world.
Happy Thanksgiving,
Sally
She wrote:
I randomly came across this post on google. The part where the little girl put your hand to her heart was amazing. I have two beautiful children and they are also a wonderful reminder of this miracle we call life. Thank you so much for sharing. This story really touched my heart.
Tara
Sydney, Australia
One of the reasons I decided to become a writer is I wanted to make a positive difference in the world. While I did my best as a mother, daughter, friend, co-worker and wife, I still had a burning desire to create a positive difference for people I may never meet. Hearing from Tara was one example of how my dream is coming true.
For those of you who read my blog on a regular basis, you know that helping others is the reason I co-wrote my newly released self-help book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. I wanted to reach out in a different way and share stories, as well as a little advice, on how to defeat negativity and enjoy life.
I gave my first talk and book signing last week on “Coping with Negative Relatives during the Holidays” at Mystic Moon Bookstore in Scottsdale. The event was put together quickly to coincide with my first TV appearance on ABC’s Sonoran Living. There was a $10 fee for the class and we needed a minimum of 3 people for the show to go on. In these tough financial times I wasn’t sure I would be able to pull it off. I’m not well known yet and I have been exhausting my friends, family and facebook network to support me. I jokingly say most of my friends and family would rather pay $10 to shut me up than to listen to me talk!
However, nine folks came through for me and the show did go on. They also supported me further by purchasing copies of the book, as well as some additional items from Mystic Moon Bookstore. Using my critical analysis I know that the TV segment and the talk were good efforts, but not perfect. I have my homework cut out for me. I know I will improve.
But that is not the point.
During the talk, and the TV show, I knew I was living my dream to create a happier niche in the world. However, it wasn’t a one-way street. Others were energetically sending me support as well (even though they may not have been aware of it.) Like the article I wrote in “Laser Beams of Love” I felt a reciprocal surge of loving energy from the process. And not only human to human, I felt something more mystical, as if the universe were assisting the process as well. Both experiences had a magical quality to them. At least for me.
Probably all encounters, even those we consider mundane, can have a magical result. We just need to elevate our minds and open our hearts to the experience.
Which brings me to my final point.
Next week is Thanksgiving. Many of us will have the opportunity to dine with family and friends for a special once-a-year meal. Many look forward to this event with anticipation – some with dread. And I confess, in my life I have approached this holiday with both mindsets.
My advice for this pre holiday event is to try to take a moment and find the love in your heart and send those laser beams of love out to those around you – especially those who annoy you. While we might not think so now, there will come a time when they are out of our lives and we will miss them. And more importantly, we do not want to miss the opportunity to summon up a little love and shine a little light in the world.
Happy Thanksgiving,
Sally
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Grouchy Relatives Beware!
Grouchy relatives beware.
Sally Marks, author of the self-improvement book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within will give a talk, “How to Cope with Grouchy Relatives During the Holidays” and sign copies of her book 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, Nov. 17 at Mystic Moon Bookstore, 7119 E. Mercer Lane in Scottsdale.
The fee is $10 per person for those who prepay and $15 at the door. Following the interactive talk Marks will sign copies of her book. Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within is available at the bookstore for $12.99.
“Grouchy relatives can be a burden during the holidays, but there are few simple tips that can help restore family harmony,” said Marks, an Arizona native and public relations expert. “The book is also a great holiday present.”
Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within is a practical guide on how to reduce negativity and embrace happiness. From meth addicts to multi-millionaires, the book offers powerful experiences of individuals who have faced dramatic challenges, but did not lose hope. Using these compelling biographies, as well as practical advice and simple exercises, the reader is guided on an internal journey toward adopting a more joyful way to live.
Mystic Moon Bookstore is a New Age store that specializes in New Age books, CD’s and music, over 36 varieties of incense, Tarot Card decks, smudge sticks, crystals, jewelry, small ceremony bags and much more. For a calendar of events or more information visit www.mysticmoonbookstore.com or call 480-443-0136.
For more information about Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within and Author Sally Marks, call Marks Public Relations at 480-664-3004.
An added note: I know this is shameless self promotion, but this, after all, my blog. I hope a few of you will see this and attend. I'll probably have a new item to write about after the talk.
Sally Marks, author of the self-improvement book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within will give a talk, “How to Cope with Grouchy Relatives During the Holidays” and sign copies of her book 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, Nov. 17 at Mystic Moon Bookstore, 7119 E. Mercer Lane in Scottsdale.
The fee is $10 per person for those who prepay and $15 at the door. Following the interactive talk Marks will sign copies of her book. Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within is available at the bookstore for $12.99.
“Grouchy relatives can be a burden during the holidays, but there are few simple tips that can help restore family harmony,” said Marks, an Arizona native and public relations expert. “The book is also a great holiday present.”
Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within is a practical guide on how to reduce negativity and embrace happiness. From meth addicts to multi-millionaires, the book offers powerful experiences of individuals who have faced dramatic challenges, but did not lose hope. Using these compelling biographies, as well as practical advice and simple exercises, the reader is guided on an internal journey toward adopting a more joyful way to live.
Mystic Moon Bookstore is a New Age store that specializes in New Age books, CD’s and music, over 36 varieties of incense, Tarot Card decks, smudge sticks, crystals, jewelry, small ceremony bags and much more. For a calendar of events or more information visit www.mysticmoonbookstore.com or call 480-443-0136.
For more information about Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within and Author Sally Marks, call Marks Public Relations at 480-664-3004.
An added note: I know this is shameless self promotion, but this, after all, my blog. I hope a few of you will see this and attend. I'll probably have a new item to write about after the talk.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Say "No Thanks" to Holiday Negativity
I was on Cat’s Tales, a blog talk radio show last night. The discussion was on the importance of optimism and how to overcome negativity. I hope you can listen in. Here’s the link.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/sassycat38.
One of the tips I give in the valiant quest to overcome grouchiness is to avoid nasty people. This is easier said than done, particularly during the holidays when forced family gatherings are the norm. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and sometimes even Halloween can be a time when you are face to fork with negative folks who share your DNA.
I wouldn’t say my relatives are particularly negative, although a few are. However, the sarcasm gene runs strong in my family. In fact I think I got a double dose of it. For instance, my mother was a lousy cook. She preferred cigarettes and coffee to developing any culinary skills, so we all assumed food came in two varieties – raw and burnt. She was the butt of numerous jokes. When one of us wanted the bowl of mashed potatoes we would ask, “One lump or two.”
Now the tables have turned and I am the recipient of a few unkind witticisms. The story of my attempt at making gravy for our Thanksgiving feast will live forever in my in-law’s hearts. The darn gravy wouldn’t thicken and not being a patient cook, I shoveled enough flour in the pot to stock a shelf in Walmart. Anyway, the gravy bubbled into some strange mass and I tell everyone it is now a sculpture in the backyard.
I take the kidding in stride because I do not define myself by my expertise as a chef. Gravy is not a regular item on the menu at the house. I grew up on the stuff, but once I left home I rarely made it. If I’m going to clog my arteries, I’d rather do it with chocolate. So it doesn’t hit a nerve if people want to tease me about my cooking.
However, other sarcastic jibes hit closer to the bone. Family favorites were my quest for a job. It took me 13 years to earn my Bachelor’s degree in journalism and after I graduated I searched in vain for 9 months before I landed my first professional job. Once I had the job nobody asked me about it, but while I was unsuccessful in my attempts, the queries abounded.
That was a long time ago. Since that time I have acquired better coping skills, I’ve developed a more positive outlook, and I learned a few pointers that I would like to share with you.
• If someone has a negative comment, ask for their help in solving it. If they think you’re too fat, ask them to walk with you after dinner. Or better yet, tell them you have a two for one coupon to join a gym and you would love for them to accompany you.
• If someone wants to gossip about a family member (usually someone who isn’t there to defend themselves) simply say: “I do not think it is kind or gracious to talk about someone who isn’t here to defend themselves. Does anyone have something more positive we can discuss?”
• If the conversation gets snippy, suggest a new tradition. Go around the table and ask everyone to say one thing they are grateful for. This is the point of Thanksgiving. If they disagree, kindly ask them why everyone gathers together for the holidays. If it is to moan and groan, then let the snippy ones have their own holiday. The moan and groan dinner fest. Unfortunately, you will not be attending.
• Confront with compassion. Many folks do not realize what they are saying is hurtful. Gently call them on it. “Aunt Sue, I love and admire you very much and I know you would never intentionally say anything to hurt me, but I feel your comment about (name it) was unkind. We suffer enough from the negativity in the world from strangers. Why don’t we use this family gathering as a time to help, nourish and be kind to one another?”
These tips may not turn instantly turn the trauma and drama of family gatherings into a love fest, but it is a start.
My last tip is totally self-serving, but my intent to help is sincere.
• Purchase numerous copies of my new book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within and give it to friends and family members for the holidays. It’s $12.99 on Amazon. It should be available mid October 2010. If you’re in a hurry, shoot me an email at comicsall@gmail.com and I can have one shipped out right away. You can also get one through www.unitedaestheticsorganization.com and I will donate $1 from each book to help fight skin cancer.
Please remember, we (and our friends and family) did not become negative overnight. It is a habit that was learned. Erasing negativity is a habit that can be learned as well. Why not start now? You don’t have to erase negativity every day, just on the days that you eat.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/sassycat38.
One of the tips I give in the valiant quest to overcome grouchiness is to avoid nasty people. This is easier said than done, particularly during the holidays when forced family gatherings are the norm. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and sometimes even Halloween can be a time when you are face to fork with negative folks who share your DNA.
I wouldn’t say my relatives are particularly negative, although a few are. However, the sarcasm gene runs strong in my family. In fact I think I got a double dose of it. For instance, my mother was a lousy cook. She preferred cigarettes and coffee to developing any culinary skills, so we all assumed food came in two varieties – raw and burnt. She was the butt of numerous jokes. When one of us wanted the bowl of mashed potatoes we would ask, “One lump or two.”
Now the tables have turned and I am the recipient of a few unkind witticisms. The story of my attempt at making gravy for our Thanksgiving feast will live forever in my in-law’s hearts. The darn gravy wouldn’t thicken and not being a patient cook, I shoveled enough flour in the pot to stock a shelf in Walmart. Anyway, the gravy bubbled into some strange mass and I tell everyone it is now a sculpture in the backyard.
I take the kidding in stride because I do not define myself by my expertise as a chef. Gravy is not a regular item on the menu at the house. I grew up on the stuff, but once I left home I rarely made it. If I’m going to clog my arteries, I’d rather do it with chocolate. So it doesn’t hit a nerve if people want to tease me about my cooking.
However, other sarcastic jibes hit closer to the bone. Family favorites were my quest for a job. It took me 13 years to earn my Bachelor’s degree in journalism and after I graduated I searched in vain for 9 months before I landed my first professional job. Once I had the job nobody asked me about it, but while I was unsuccessful in my attempts, the queries abounded.
That was a long time ago. Since that time I have acquired better coping skills, I’ve developed a more positive outlook, and I learned a few pointers that I would like to share with you.
• If someone has a negative comment, ask for their help in solving it. If they think you’re too fat, ask them to walk with you after dinner. Or better yet, tell them you have a two for one coupon to join a gym and you would love for them to accompany you.
• If someone wants to gossip about a family member (usually someone who isn’t there to defend themselves) simply say: “I do not think it is kind or gracious to talk about someone who isn’t here to defend themselves. Does anyone have something more positive we can discuss?”
• If the conversation gets snippy, suggest a new tradition. Go around the table and ask everyone to say one thing they are grateful for. This is the point of Thanksgiving. If they disagree, kindly ask them why everyone gathers together for the holidays. If it is to moan and groan, then let the snippy ones have their own holiday. The moan and groan dinner fest. Unfortunately, you will not be attending.
• Confront with compassion. Many folks do not realize what they are saying is hurtful. Gently call them on it. “Aunt Sue, I love and admire you very much and I know you would never intentionally say anything to hurt me, but I feel your comment about (name it) was unkind. We suffer enough from the negativity in the world from strangers. Why don’t we use this family gathering as a time to help, nourish and be kind to one another?”
These tips may not turn instantly turn the trauma and drama of family gatherings into a love fest, but it is a start.
My last tip is totally self-serving, but my intent to help is sincere.
• Purchase numerous copies of my new book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within and give it to friends and family members for the holidays. It’s $12.99 on Amazon. It should be available mid October 2010. If you’re in a hurry, shoot me an email at comicsall@gmail.com and I can have one shipped out right away. You can also get one through www.unitedaestheticsorganization.com and I will donate $1 from each book to help fight skin cancer.
Please remember, we (and our friends and family) did not become negative overnight. It is a habit that was learned. Erasing negativity is a habit that can be learned as well. Why not start now? You don’t have to erase negativity every day, just on the days that you eat.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Halloween Rerun
It’s nearly Halloween and the stores are filled with ghoulish décor. On a recent outing my little granddaughter, Rosannah, discovered some holiday decorations packed more trick than treat. Rosannah is nearly two years old and quite fearless. She runs through the house with her hands in the air, scales the couch and her high chair with the speed of a mountain goat, and follows the family’s Rottweilers through the doggy door, with no worry of being trampled.
However, my plucky, little granddaughter’s bravery melted like a candy bar when she encountered a cackling witch at the local hardware store. Rosannah buried her head into her mother’s shoulder and whimpered, “no, no.” When she looked up, she saw another display – a werewolf. She smiled at the item and said, “doggy?” Then the eyes of the beast turned red. This elicited another whimpering “no, no” and she buried her dimpled face into her mother’s shoulder once again. Even something as innocuous as a skull on a glass elicits a quick retreat.
I’m not sure why the symbol of a skull is so frightening to Rosannah. It makes me wonder if there could be universal phobias that are buried deep within our collective consciousness. I read somewhere that snakes are feared in many cultures – including those areas that have never seen one of the slithering reptiles.
Other phobias are not so universal. For instance, my friend, Michele, has a 36-year-daughter who is afraid of dryer lint. I reminded her of this quirky habit. I assumed she had outgrown it. Nope. If her husband wanted a divorce he could chase her around the house with the lint, much like how her brother used to do when they were kids. But, like I said, the man wants to remain happily married so he takes care of the lint disposal. My normally logical sister, Diane, gets squeamish touching balls of cotton. I always felt I had a sense of power over her as I would valiantly pull the wad of the white padding from bottles of aspirin. Recently I reminded her of this childhood fear. Well, guess what? She still won’t touch the cotton balls.
The point is, there are many things that strike fear into the hearts of humankind. However, there is one demon that, unlike dryer lint, has caused tremendous harm, but holds free reign in society – negativity.
These pessimistic messages take various forms – news reports, gossip, complaints, lack of gratitude, judgmental thoughts, as well as stinging criticism of ourselves and others. Unfortunately, negativity has become so pervasive that many of us accept it as a normal part of life. This is especially true because we are bombarded with negative news 24/7. The reality is there are many more happy incidents in a day, but no journalist is going to lead the 5 o’clock news with a story of good cheer. As the old adage goes, “if it bleeds, it leads.”
As dismal as this may seem, the good news is we still have a choice on whether or not we are going to allow negativity to stain our lives. There is no law that says we have to watch depressing news. We should not feel compelled to listen to others say disparaging things about others. And we should never repeat gossip…period.
Living a happy life is not that difficult. Even in the most depressing situations there are things to be grateful for. It’s all a matter of perspective.
Every morning I recite several things that I appreciate in my life before I get out of bed. This only takes a few seconds, but it creates an attitude of gratitude that I try to embrace throughout the day.
For those who have a little more trouble adopting a positive attitude, there are little tricks you can perform to shift into an attitude of gratitude. One is to pretend you are happy until the real feeling washing over you. The “fake it until you make it” strategy is more powerful than you think. And what do you have to lose except maybe a rotten attitude?
In the meantime, you can always adopt an adult version of Rosannah’s technique when confronted with negative messages. It’s the same thing we teach children who are tempted to take drugs. Turn away and just say no.
However, my plucky, little granddaughter’s bravery melted like a candy bar when she encountered a cackling witch at the local hardware store. Rosannah buried her head into her mother’s shoulder and whimpered, “no, no.” When she looked up, she saw another display – a werewolf. She smiled at the item and said, “doggy?” Then the eyes of the beast turned red. This elicited another whimpering “no, no” and she buried her dimpled face into her mother’s shoulder once again. Even something as innocuous as a skull on a glass elicits a quick retreat.
I’m not sure why the symbol of a skull is so frightening to Rosannah. It makes me wonder if there could be universal phobias that are buried deep within our collective consciousness. I read somewhere that snakes are feared in many cultures – including those areas that have never seen one of the slithering reptiles.
Other phobias are not so universal. For instance, my friend, Michele, has a 36-year-daughter who is afraid of dryer lint. I reminded her of this quirky habit. I assumed she had outgrown it. Nope. If her husband wanted a divorce he could chase her around the house with the lint, much like how her brother used to do when they were kids. But, like I said, the man wants to remain happily married so he takes care of the lint disposal. My normally logical sister, Diane, gets squeamish touching balls of cotton. I always felt I had a sense of power over her as I would valiantly pull the wad of the white padding from bottles of aspirin. Recently I reminded her of this childhood fear. Well, guess what? She still won’t touch the cotton balls.
The point is, there are many things that strike fear into the hearts of humankind. However, there is one demon that, unlike dryer lint, has caused tremendous harm, but holds free reign in society – negativity.
These pessimistic messages take various forms – news reports, gossip, complaints, lack of gratitude, judgmental thoughts, as well as stinging criticism of ourselves and others. Unfortunately, negativity has become so pervasive that many of us accept it as a normal part of life. This is especially true because we are bombarded with negative news 24/7. The reality is there are many more happy incidents in a day, but no journalist is going to lead the 5 o’clock news with a story of good cheer. As the old adage goes, “if it bleeds, it leads.”
As dismal as this may seem, the good news is we still have a choice on whether or not we are going to allow negativity to stain our lives. There is no law that says we have to watch depressing news. We should not feel compelled to listen to others say disparaging things about others. And we should never repeat gossip…period.
Living a happy life is not that difficult. Even in the most depressing situations there are things to be grateful for. It’s all a matter of perspective.
Every morning I recite several things that I appreciate in my life before I get out of bed. This only takes a few seconds, but it creates an attitude of gratitude that I try to embrace throughout the day.
For those who have a little more trouble adopting a positive attitude, there are little tricks you can perform to shift into an attitude of gratitude. One is to pretend you are happy until the real feeling washing over you. The “fake it until you make it” strategy is more powerful than you think. And what do you have to lose except maybe a rotten attitude?
In the meantime, you can always adopt an adult version of Rosannah’s technique when confronted with negative messages. It’s the same thing we teach children who are tempted to take drugs. Turn away and just say no.
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