Enjoying Tweets Not Twitter

I need to get out more often. I’m a social animal, but it seems like I spend more time with my computer than among the living. That is why it was a treat to come to Red Bluff, California over the recent Memorial Day holiday.

I launched my Northern California book tour and Red Bluff was my second stop. I gave a talk and book signing at Crystal Art & Apparel. Wilma, the owner, organized a wonderful affair, the Red Bluff Daily News ran a press release about the event and the nearby Redding Record Searchlight ran a ¾ -page article on the front page of the Community Section.

As a public relations professional (my day job), free media exposure is my life’s blood. However, the real thrill was being able to talk about my passion of helping people erase negativity. Of course it is also the theme of our book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within, written by me and my friend and co-author, Jacqueline Howard. By the end of the evening, everyone in the audience bought copies of the book. Some folks bought two books!

Even though I’m comfortable lecturing, I prefer to conduct my talks as a round-table discussion. I believe everyone gets more out of the event if they are an active participant. I learned on the site, The Learning Pyramid, that folks only retain 5% of what they learn from a lecture, but that number increases to 50% when they are engaged in a group discussion. Hopefully these folks will practice what they heard and enhance their retention increase to 75%. Best of all is when they teach someone else what they were taught and use it immediately. At that point the retention reaches a whopping 90%! If more folks do this and learn to erase negativity and teach others about the process, I believe we will see some truly optimistic results!

Since I was out of town, my preparation for this talk was a bit unusual. I decided to walk down a trail leading to the Sacramento River. Since I didn’t have the typical distractions that I have at home, I was able to focus on my surroundings. I did think a little about the talk and the content I wanted to present, but mostly I enjoyed the trees, wildflowers and greenery. Rather than my pre-talk tweeting on twitter, I listened to the chirping of birds and the rustling of leaves on the trees.

During this outdoor excursion I let my soul become immersed in the beauty of the surroundings. Rather than rehearse a speech, I decided to refresh my spirit so I could be totally present to the group. I know my topic, so I wasn’t worried that I’d forget anything important or become speechless. I wanted a little spontaneity regarding the direction the talk would take and the flexibility to change course if necessary. There is no way I could know this until I met my audience.

When I’m in a group where there is an exchange of ideas, I feel rejuvenated. I hope (and believe) the Red Bluff audience felt the same way. By the end of the evening when we formally ended the discussion and went on to bigger and better things (eating the delicious food Wilma had prepared) I felt like I was chatting with old friends.

Don’t get me wrong, I do believe speakers should be prepared. I don’t think folks should just “wing it” and not have any regard to the ideas they wish to convey. However, in my case, my message was all about erasing negativity and embracing the magic within. How could I authentically express this concept if I spent more time on how to turn a phrase rather than appreciating the beauty of my environment?

I recently read a sentence in a book that said, “Everything goes back to the beginning.” The same is true with this little story. I feel more like a “human being” rather than a “human doing” when I take the time to enjoy my surroundings and allow a flow of dialogue rather than rehearse a canned speech. Like I said before, “I really need to get out more often.”

Invisibly Obvious

Have you ever looked for something only to find out it was right in front of you the whole time? It amazes me how things can be so elusive, yet so obvious.

I had yet another example of this phenomenon when a friend was helping me with the manuscript of my book. I have looked through this manuscript numerous times, yet there it was, in plain view, several obvious errors that I missed. Tsk, tsk.

I don’t beat myself up too much about this. They always say that authors skim past their own mistakes because they know what they intended to say. It’s always best to seek the help of a seasoned editor or proofreader.

I thought (albeit briefly) that wouldn’t it be nice to have someone in our lives to help point out our errors so we wouldn’t make mistakes? Then reality hit. This is exactly what mothers, fathers, children, bosses and spouses do – and usually with annoying results.

The truth of the matter is it is hard to be objective regarding our own foibles. However, I have found that while illusions of grandeur and omnipotence can be found in the political scene and corporate America, the opposite is more likely to be true of us common folk.

The following is an excerpt from Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within.

While many people become selfish tyrants in their lust for fame and fortune, others suffer from another malady – fear of success. People who have this mindset often suffer from low self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness. When success is in sight, they (often unwittingly) sabotage their own efforts. This scenario is perfectly illustrated in a passage in Marianne Williamson’s poem, where she notes that our greatest fear is not in our inadequacies, but in recognizing our own power.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Reprinted with permission: (A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles", Harper Collins, 1992. From Chapter 7, Section 3).

Nichiren Daishonin, a Buddhist priest and founder of Nichiren Buddhism cited the difficulty in seeing our divine nature in this famous writing: “We ordinary people can see neither our own eyelashes, which are so close, nor the heavens in the distance. Likewise, we do not see that the Buddha exists in our own hearts.”

I am on a constant quest to become a better person. Sometimes my life is full of “typos” and I try to take a look at how I can improve. Other times I want to put my hands to my ears and sing “La, la, la” every time someone (usually my spouse) offers some unsolicited advice on how I can be a better person.

The point is, we are neither perfect, nor complete failures. While it is important to find ways to live happier, healthier and more compassionate lives, we need to keep the proper perspective and appreciate the many wonderful attributes we possess and the beautiful life we have created.

I may need an editor to help me spot my typos, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t write. The same is true in life. We can use obstacles as an excuse to give up, or as a catalyst to become stronger.

I think Albert Einstein said it best. “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

With a shift to a more optimistic attitude and the passion to manifest positive changes in your life, you will discover the tools you need have been in front of you all along. It sounds simple, but of course it’s not. It’s like the analogy of the eyelashes, or typos in our own writing. Sometimes the most obvious thing in front of us is the most difficult thing to see.

Resolve to be a Hero

I love movies. I not only enjoy the spectacle, the humor, drama and music, I find it satisfying to absorb the moral of the story through the comfort of a cushy seat in an air conditioned theater.

Movies, like sports, give you the chance to root, root, root for the home team, without risking your own neck. And that is a good thing, especially for me. If my heroics were the theme of a movie, I can safely say there would be no sequel. I doubt I’d defuse the bomb in time, the Red Queen would have my head, and I’d be reluctant to jump into the bubbling and short-circuiting Hot Tub Time Machine. “Can someone please call an electrician?”

I’m a big fan of the under dog (still rooting for the Chicago Cubs) and I never tire of the ongoing movie theme of the reluctant hero rising to the occasion and saving the day. I also use the morals, or theme of a movie, as a guide in my life. Great one-liners become my credo.

For instance, I just saw the movie, Alice in Wonderland. There is a line of dialogue, “Think of six impossible things before breakfast.” I have edited this for my own purposes to three impossible things. I’m not satisfied with thinking of unachievable (or seemingly ridiculous) feats, I come up with three that I’m determined to accomplish. This year I’ve accomplished two - publishing my book and hitting a home run in softball. Both of these endeavors have not just taken me years to achieve, they have taken decades.

I probably could have shaved years off completing these goals if I had put 100% of my passion and determination into it, but I got a little sloppy. After all, there are so many things one has to do in a day and it is easy to become distracted. But the one thing I do have is persistence. Some would describe it as “bull-headed or stubborn” but I’m taking the high road here.

However, when I look back on the many seemingly impossible things I have accomplished, there is one ingredient that has always been there – a burning resolve to succeed. These are not tasks I said I would TRY to do. It is something I determined I WOULD accomplish, no matter what. It’s more than a choice of words, it a determination that sparks an electrifying passion in my gut – like heart burn, but in a good way.

In addition to movies, inspiring books have the same effect on me. They are a motivating tool. It’s like putting high octane fuel in my tank. The thing is, we have lots of choices we can make every day. We can choose to read, hear and listen to things that can inspire us, or we can surround ourselves with sadness and sorrow. There are plenty of examples of both in the world.

That is not to say that we should bury our head in the sand when something disturbing occurs. We can whine and bemoan the situation, or we can determine to face our difficulties head-on with a gut-busting determination to win.

I was on a radio show recently talking about the importance of erasing negativity and embracing optimism. One of the questions was, “Isn’t optimism a form of denial?” I get that question a lot. My answer is, “Optimism is a way to approach situations with an eye on success.”

So my advice is to wake up in the morning, take a few moments to think of some things that you are grateful for, then make a firm resolve to accomplish three, four, five or however many impossible things you want to accomplish. You can get your spark from talking to optimistic people, reading a motivational book, or even watching an inspirational movie. In the final analysis, the important thing to remember is that you are the one writing the script of your life, and you have the power to make it a tragedy, melodrama, comedy or a triumph.

Now go listen to the theme from Rocky and accomplish something great.