How to Train Your Amygdala

I recently trotted my two granddaughters off to the discount theater to see How to Train Your Dragon 2. It was a hot, Saturday afternoon and the place was packed. In order to sit together we were forced to take a front row seat.  One thing about this vantage point is you feel like you’re rubbing noses with the screen (which, if I had sneezed, I would’ve been.) But it was great fun. 

Having grandchildren (or children) gives you the opportunity to repeat the fun stuff you enjoyed as a kid without having other people judge you for spending the afternoon playing with Play Doh or watching an animated picture. 

I admit it, dragons intrigue me. I’m not sure why. I’m a big fan of Harry Potter movies and mystical stories. Dragons are generally portrayed as villains, but in How to Train Your Dragon 1 and 2 we see humans and dragons working together.  Of course there is a lot of prejudice to overcome, but it finally happens. I apologize if this was a spoiler for any of you, but most Hollywood plots are pretty predictable and secondary to the spectacle and munching of popcorn.

I didn’t think too much about the movie and any underlying messages at first, but then I received an assignment to write an article on meditation for Beauty Link magazine (I’ll post a link when the article comes out.) I’m Buddhist and I chant the words Nam Myoho Renge Kyo every morning and evening. Occasionally I meditate as well, but I have to admit my knowledge on the effects of meditation (or chanting) and the brain is minimal.

Imagine my surprise to learn that meditation and other calming techniques can increase your happy serotonin supply, decrease the nasty cortisol levels, lower your blood pressure and even assist your healing power on a cellular level. Another thing I learned is when we get a jolt of anger, frustration, annoyance etc. a message is sent to the amygdala, a walnut-sized part of our brain that is responsible for our flight or fright response. If left unchecked, our fear-response is activated. 

Our reactions may vary a little depending on our personality, but it is rarely a good scenario. We might feel the urge to fight, take flight, yell, hold our breath, climb a tree, or any number of fear-based reactions. When the danger is real this could be a good thing for self preservation. But most of the time the anger or stress is more an annoyance (rush hour traffic, an approaching deadline, a demanding boss) than a real, life-threatening event.

The good news is there is a 30-second delay from the time the response is noticed before the amygdala yells, “suppress the serotonin and release the cortisol!” It’s like turning off all the water faucets and then igniting an internal fire. Fortunately during this 30 seconds you can take deep breaths and practice a mini-meditation, chant, or practice another relaxation technique to  help restore order to your system. 

Of course this little scenario made me think each dramatic event in our lives gives us the opportunity to be a hero. In most cases we can be kind to our system and psyche and cool our internal flames before it becomes a massive wild fire that torments our bodies and any innocent bystanders.  In the rare cases where we need our fear to protect ourselves and the world, we can let it kick in, jump on our dragon (and I think Amygdala is a good name for a dragon) and we can take up the good fight.

Both scenarios have a place in our lives. But I think it’s safe to say that our “call to arms” is not as necessary as our amygdala would have us believe.

During my post-movie discussion with my granddaughters I asked six-year-old Rosannah what her favorite part of the movie was. She liked the part when the kids and dragons fought the bad guys and won. Briannah, age 5, preferred the beginning of the movie when everything was calm and pleasant. My favorite part was when the heroes had to ride the only dragons that were available – the baby dragons. Unlike the adult flying lizards who followed the directive of the alpha beast – the baby dragons didn’t listen to anyone. And somehow I found that very refreshing.

We can do the same.  We are the alphas of our own minds. We can fly off the handle when we are in grave danger, or we can save our energy, relax by the pool, and live to save the world another day.

I am Green

I am green. No, I’m not talking about the color associated with envy or a hair-color-gone-wrong experiment. I’m talking about the color of my aura.

Years ago on my frequent treks from hot and conservative Mesa, AZ to cool and mystical, Sedona, I noticed signs about aura readings and was curious about the subject. However, I harbored my fair share of skepticism. I didn’t dispute the existence of auras, I just wasn’t sure I believed the merchant’s claims that they could read or photograph the energy.

However, one day my doubt regarding auras changed when I attended an all-day women’s workshop hosted by my Buddhist group. They brought in speakers on numerous topics. It was a truly awesome event and I learned a great deal. I was happily sitting in on one of the discussions and someone asked the presenter about auras. This was not what the topic was about, but apparently my green aura was so strong she felt she needed to ask about it. One or two people spoke up and said they noticed my shining hue as well. Apparently I was like a big, emerald beacon lighting the place up like a Christmas tree.

Of course I couldn’t see it.

When I returned home, I decided to learn about the significance of a green aura. After all, green is not always associated with positive attributes. There is the green-eyed monster of envy, invading Martians with rubbery bodies and chartreuse skin, not to mention the ugly pallor of the Wicked Witch of the West.

My search led to mixed results. Since the internet was not as sophisticated as it is today, I read some pretty harsh things about green auras. My default was (and still is) to go to my local library. I picked up a few books on the topic. The one that impressed me most was “Aura Advantage, How the Colors in your Aura can help you Attain your Desires and Attract Success” by Cynthia Sue Larson.

Years later, I still find this to be the most thorough, well-researched and enjoyable book on the subject.

I was so captivated with what I read that I contacted the author and ordered my own, autographed copy. I noticed that she lived in Berkley. Ironically, my spouse, CB, had accepted a temporary job assignment in San Francisco, so I contacted Ms. Larson to see if we could meet for coffee. I was writing my first, self-help book, “Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within”, and I thought she would be a great person to interview. She graciously agreed.

I took the bus to Union Square and met Ms. Larson and her spouse at a local restaurant. Due to my habit of getting lost, I decided to take no chances and I arrived nearly an hour early. Cynthia and her boyfriend walked through the door right on time. I quickly spotted the author, intuitive and spiritual coach from her picture. I was surprised that she recognized me as well. It’s hard to explain, but it was as if our recognition was on an energetic, rather than physical level. We had exchanged a few emails and I found her to be a very kind and intelligent woman.

However, being in her presence was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. She had such a high vibration that I felt I was being lifted to another realm. It was a truly magical evening of warmth, laughter and spiritual camaraderie. It was like reconnecting with a wise, kind and long-lost sister. We talked and laughed and made future arrangements (via email and the phone) to complete the interview.

After I returned to my hotel room, the happiness I felt at being in the presence of such a spiritual person lingered for hours.

After reading Cynthia’s book and following the directions on how to recognize auras, I could see that my most predominate aural hue is emerald green – the color of a healer. Other good careers for Greenies like me include gourmet cooking (hmmm, maybe someday), speech therapy, dental hygiene, social work, psychology, nursing, public relations, marketing, writing, banking, massage therapy, publishing, and sales.

Except for gourmet cooking (my culinary skills have been the butt of many jokes in my family) I have an interest in all of these fields, even if it is something as simple as my own diligence with flossing my choppers or the nightly foot massages I give CB. Since I earn my daily bread as a writer and public relations professional those career choices were spot-on.

According to Cynthia Sue’s book, other celebrities who have green energy in their auras include Tom Hanks, Shirley MacLaine, Oprah Winfrey, Lisa Kudrow and Drew Barrymore. There are others, but these are the ones that I most admire.

If you look at a chart of the chakra colors, you will find that green falls in the middle.

Starting from the root chakra in the base of your spine (red) you move up to orange in your sacral area, yellow in your solar plexus, green in your heart region, blue in your throat, indigo where your third eye is located and finally violet in the crown of your head.

While being a “Greeney” has its positive traits (who am I to argue about Oprah’s contributions to society?) I wanted to see if I could climb to a “higher” chakra plane. It doesn’t exactly work like that, but I have been conditioned with decades of linear thinking and felt my color was okay, but not good enough. At the very least I wanted to vibrate at a higher frequency like Cynthia Sue’s.

I’m not exactly a spiritual slouch. I am a devout Buddhist and chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo and recite the Lotus Sutra every day, I study spiritual material as well as my ongoing efforts to be a better person. I also work on my breathing (I have a bad habit of holding my breath) and take a few minutes a day to express my gratitude. However, in spite of these efforts, when I hold out my hands against a white wall, I still see a shining green aura dancing away from my fingers.

Recently CB and I took a trip to Flagstaff. My energetic spouse scaled Mount Humphrey.

I took an easy nature trail around the Aspens. I love trees and marveled at the verdant leaves, lush vegetation and delicate flowers.

As I moseyed along the path I spied the largest, orange-colored mushroom I had ever seen. Along my little jaunt I chatted with a nice woman and petted her fuzzy, white puppy. I felt great. As I was about half way around my loop, I decided to take a gander at my aura. It is easier to see auras against a white background so I pulled out a business card from my fanny pack and placed my pointer finger in front of it.

Even though I was surrounded by greenery, my aura color was blue. Hurray! I moved up a color! However, before I could celebrate I decided to check again when I returned to the hotel. Alas, my aura was green again. Darn.

Of course I know this whole color-rating experiment has no bearing on spiritual growth. I didn’t move up the chain. I was simply being a part of nature, which automatically raises your vibration.

So what is my point in this story? If you want to raise your vibration, or simply enjoy a happier life here are three simple hints.

1. Surround yourself with uplifting people.
2. Take time to commune with nature.
3. Never be ashamed of who you are, whether it’s your aural color, body shape, age, professional, gender or any other characteristic. Be the very best person you can be and let your inner light shine for all to see.

Whales and Tales

It was the day after Labor Day and I was off to Port Townsend, WA to catch a boat to go whale watching with my spouse, CB. During our drive we saw plenty of school buses packed with children ready to start the first day of school. Some of the kids looked excited, others nervous. I can appreciate both sentiments.

As a child I started off the school year with one of two new outfits I would wear that year. I remember wanting to put my best foot forward. I was a scruffy-looking kid, but a new outfit managed to put a coat of varnish on my otherwise rough exterior. My family wasn’t exactly impoverished, but we weren’t well off either. Plus, I did not take a lot of care in how I looked. My mom made sure my hair was brushed before I left the house, but I never gave it another thought the rest of the day. And as a kid who loved to play outside, hang upside on the monkey bars and chase other kids around the school yard, I’m sure I was a big mess. Actually, I have school pictures to prove I was a mess, but I digress.

When a new school year begins, I feel a nostalgic desire to learn something new. One major accomplishment is I’ve improved my grooming. One of my favorite PR clients owns a chain of beauty schools. For those of you who are intersted in a career in beauty, here is their website.

www.intlacademy.biz

Since I’m promoting the beauty business I’m always up-to-date regarding the latest in hair styles, nail polish and skincare. I also have learned how rewarding a career in cosmetology can be and some tips on how to get your first job.

But CB and I had a different goal in mind that day. We hopped into the truck and set off to the dock where we would take our four-hour tour (not the three-hour variety that got Gilligan and company in a bind) I wistfully wondered what new tid bit I would learn on this auspicious day-after-Labor Day.

I’m sure my sea-loving spouse was in hopes I would develop a desire to sail the seven seas. CB loves the ocean and envisions me as a nautical first mate. Unfortunately I’m of the land-loving variety and the only Seven Seas you will find through me is a salad dressing (prepared on land thank you very much.)

However, I was impressed with a story our captain regaled us with while we were watching two orcas.

Killer whales swim in pods. When one of the females is about to give birth, the other females surround her and buoy her up so she is able to take in some oxygen. Once the calf is born, the entire whale community celebrates with breaches and tail slapping. One of the resident grandma whales in the San Juan Island area (reported to be more than 100 years old) recently had a new great, great grandson and researchers saw that the old matriarch was showing the little guy the ropes. The other whales chipped in doing what they could. The male orcas let the youngster ride on their backs.

I found this whale tale inspiring. I know humans are supposed to be the superior species, but I think all of us could learn something from the community spirit of these sea mammals. Most of us are willing to lend a helping hand to someone in our family who is ill, but there are others in our community (or pod) who need our compassion as well.

In school, in our spiritual communities, work and our daily lives we have the opportunity to be a part of a supportive environment, or we can turn our backs on others. We can offer words of kindness and encouragement, or we can gossip, tease and humiliate others.

Ironically, a child’s introduction to the latter is often in classroom or playground. I’ve even witnessed snobbery, prejudice and cruel remarks snickered about others in a spiritual setting where some well-dressed hypocrite feels the need to measure some “poor unfortunate’s” worth by their bank account or the cost of their apparel.

That is why I was impressed by this quote from Daisaku Ikeda from the August 2012 edition of Living Buddhism magazine.


“Religion must contribute to the elevation of the human spirit. It must be a force for developing the inherent goodness within us with the aim of happiness for all. It must be a force promoting respect, wisdom and personal empowerment.”

I find this quote profound, but not unique to the teachings of spiritual sages and philosophers. I learned about it from an orca and I hope you will pass this whale tale on to others as well.

Independence Day and the Pursuit of Happiness

Today is July 4th or Independence Day in the USA. One of my favorite phrases in the Declaration of Independence is: “Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” I am not alone in my admiration. Wikipedia states that this line is considered by some as one of most well crafted, influential sentences in the history of the English language.

It is ironic that we Americans are one of the richest nations in the world, we enjoy freedoms that others can only dream about, we have boundless opportunities, yet most of us are unhappy. We may be in “pursuit” of happiness, but actually achieving it seems a frustrating and elusive endeavor.

My friend and co-author, Jackie and I believe that negativity is at the root of most folk’s misery. We wanted to do something to reverse this pessimistic trend so we wrote a book entitled Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. This self-improvement novel IS a good start toward embracing a happier life, but it doesn’t have ALL the answers. In fact Jackie and I do not have all the answers either. However, I’m always open to learning more about creating a joyful life.

That is why today’s article focuses on a conversation I had with my friend and Myoho Sister, Karen. Karen and I are both SGI Buddhists. Through the years we have encouraged one another. On July 3 we were leaving a meeting and Karen shared some guidance that she read from our organization’s International President, Daisaku Ikeda. It had to do with winning and losing. We all have goals we want to achieve whether it is landing a job, overcoming health issues or finding the perfect mate. In my limited thinking I had previously believed I only “won” when I achieved my goals. Through the years I have won some and lost some. A valuable lesson that Karen shared with me is it is not the goal so much as defeating the elements in my life that are preventing my happiness that should be my true objective.

In Buddhist philosophy obstacles to our happiness are not the circumstances but the mindset and actions we take. When we engage in defeatist thoughts, speech and actions we are letting our internal negativity (or innate darkness) take over. This negativity can take various forms. For some it may be laziness, guilt, greed, pride or anger. Others may choose a numbing experience and turn to a temporary fix such as alcohol or drugs. None of these tactics bring true happiness.

Another way to circumvent joy and traipse down the road of misery is to place your happiness exclusively on attaining a specific outcome.. That is not to say that we should not have goals. I’m a firm believer in them. However, the real trick is finding out what is stopping us from becoming happy and working to eliminate that faulty thinking and behavior.

For instance, I have a goal to pray each day. Since I’m Buddhist, my prayer is chanting the words Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. I do this religiously, but the sincerity, length of time etc fluctuates. In my faulty thinking I have thought that I’m only a “good Buddhist” if I chant a lot and what I’m chanting for comes true. We call this actual proof. When I’m unsuccessful (which is often because I have a lot of things I want to achieve) I feel like I finished last in the human race.

However, my friend Karen reminded me that a true victory is making the effort, not achieving the result. Every time I pray, write, exercise or do any of the things that infuses a little joy in my life, I am victorious. After all, I could be watching television, eating chocolate, or taking a nap, but instead I am making an effort. In essence, at that particular moment I am victorious over one of my weaknesses – laziness. Rather than focus on guilt on what I should be doing more often, I should rejoice that I have defeated my lazy nature (for the time being) and I am victorious in the moment. Unfortunately there are times when I’m making progress, but rather than rejoicing in my efforts, I let guilt or other unseemly thoughts enter my brain.

No one is perfect. No matter how hard we try at various things, we cannot always have the result we want. However, we can celebrate our positive causes. The more we rejoice, the more we will WANT to make the effort. It doesn’t matter if these positive efforts are two minutes a day or 12 hours. Every good action is a start toward a happier existence.

In conclusion, I invite all of you to engage in a different type of independence day. Take a holiday from guilt. Instead, make efforts toward your pursuit of happiness. But remember the message Karen reminded me about from President Ikeda. Real joy stems from defeating your inner darkness and letting your happiness shine through no matter what your circumstances bring.

Victim or Victorious?

I was recently at a Buddhist meeting where George Nakamura quoted a story from Daisaku Ikeda. In this story, Ikeda asked the audience to imagine their biggest dream or heart’s desire was within reach. However, there was a catch. Separating them from their heart's desire was a big river. To make matters worse, there was no bridge, no boat and the dreamer (you) can’t swim. What do you do?

Many of us believe we can just imagine, or pray that the river dries up or changes course. However, how often does that work? Another option is to give up or complain about the situation. It’s a common practice, but does it ever improve the outcome? Ikeda said the answer was you either learn how to build a bridge, learn how to build a boat or learn how to swim.

In our book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within, there is the story about Chloe, a talented and intelligent physician who stopped short of her goals due to her victim mentality.

A person with this mindset fails to take responsibility for their actions. Instead, they blame others for their circumstances. The victim’s list of who to blame is as diverse as the population itself. Common culprits are: race; religion; society; parents; a bad economy; inferior genetics and an unhappy childhood. This mindset is as dangerous as a double-edged sword. The victim not only feels negative about their current situation, they feel powerless to change it. To make matters worse, they also develop an expectation that things will continue to go wrong. You often hear them whine, “bad things always happen to me.” With this expectation of failure and defeat, they actually draw more negative influences into their lives. Coupled with their passive mindset that “nothing will ever change,” they become hapless bystanders in their own lives. It’s as if their life is a car and they hand over the keys for someone else to drive it.

A significant factor in overcoming a victim mentality is to take responsibility for your actions and circumstances. While it may seem difficult at first, in time it is actually empowering. In one mindset you are at the mercy of others. When you take responsibility for your thoughts, actions and environment, you possess the power to change things for the better. While you cannot control all of your circumstances, you can, control your reaction.

Here are a few tips on how to overcome this debilitating mindset:

•Don’t blame others for your problems.
Lose the victim mentality and take responsibility for your life – bumps and all. Life is not something that is handed to you, it is something you create. Adopt a proactive approach that shifts from “What can I get?” to “What can I contribute?” Next time you find yourself wanting to point a blaming finger at someone else, take note of your hand. While your finger and thumb may be pointing at someone else, three fingers are pointed right back at you!

•Align yourself with people, situations or organizations that can help put you on a successful path.
Ask yourself, “What am I focusing on?” If it’s not positive, redirect your thoughts.
Focusing on negative thoughts and situations is like counting your neighbor’s money. Sure, you can do it (if they allow it) but what good will come of it? It’s not going to increase your bank account one bit, no matter how much time you put into it.

•Take responsibility and find ways to succeed.

If people put more energy into solving problems instead of whining about them, all of our lives would be easier. When Thomas Alva Edison was experimenting with the correct filament for his light bulb, he was unsuccessful more than 1,000 times. Rather than becoming discouraged he is quoted as saying, “We now know a thousand ways not to build a light bulb”. What an enlightened concept!

•Forgive.

Victims are often shackled by their inability, or unwillingness, to forgive others or themselves. Harboring resentments, even those that seem justified, do not help the situation. In fact, it makes it worse. Corrie Ten Boom said, "Forgiveness is setting the prisoner free, only to find out that the prisoner was me.” We cannot change the past. Forgive others, or yourself, and move on. Your heart will be lighter and you will be able to pursue happier endeavors.

Remember you can learn how to take the necessary actions to build your happiness, or simply let it crumble away. Either way, the choice is yours.