The Taming of the Grouch

Have you ever wished you had a “refresh” button for your life? 

We acquire a fair amount of knowledge from study and personal experience, but at times it seems all it takes are a few setbacks, and poof, we revert to our old bad habits. 

It happened to me.

I was in a car accident a year ago which left me unable to do a lot of the physical activities I enjoy – including playing softball with my team, the Stingers. Nearly a year has passed. I received therapy, slowly began preparing my muscles by taking yogalates classes and now it was time to play ball again. I started off pretty good and got some solid hits, but in my enthusiasm to sprint to first base I pulled a hamstring muscle.  Part of the problem is I didn’t warm up properly. It was a knee jerk reaction – hit the ball and run. 

I have never been a powerful slugger like many of my teammates such as Mary Lou, Stella and Tracy, so part of my effectiveness as a softball player is being able to get a hit and beat out the throw to first base. The same formula is true with my fielding. I may not stop line shots like Kathy or Jo, or snag fly balls like Karen, June or Ruth, but if a ball gets past me at least I can chase it down at a respectable pace. The pulled hamstring was taking away my mobility edge.

Mary Lou and Shirley, our couch and manager, found pinch runners for me at the next game, but I batted a miserable 0 for 4. Needless to say I was not a happy camper. While in the dugout my teammates, Connie, Carla and Mo encouraged me. They reminded me that I had hit the ball solidly, it just had the misfortune of landing in our opponent’s mitts.  It happens to everyone, including our most powerful hitters. Still I was grousing and made a few negative remarks about my performance. 

Normally I am a “glass-half-full kinda gal,” so my pessimism raised a few eyebrows. My teammate, Jo, was especially surprised since she knew I not only valued an optimistic attitude, I penned a book about it (Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within.) She suggested I reread what I wrote.  Talk about a wake-up call.

That evening I pondered what Jo said. The hamstring pull was a pain, but certainly not the end of the world. What was causing me to unleash my inner grouch?

Upon reflection I realized I went into a slow, but steady downspin following my car accident the year before.  Over time, some of my positive routines disintegrated into bad habits. Instead of exercising like I would’ve liked to do, I had to be sedentary and heal. I began watching more television – including programs that were violent and depressing. This not only gave me nightmares, it affected my attitude. Slowly, but surely, I was giving my inner grouch permission to run amok.

Fortunately Jo’s comment caused me examine the issue and correct it. I was a little embarrassed with my flirtation with the dark side, but it’s not like I had total amnesia on all things hopeful.  I just needed a little refresher course. And being a middle child who likes to share, I thought many of you who normally embrace optimism, but occasionally relapse, might benefit from what I discovered. Here are a few tips on how to refresh your optimism.

·         1. Go back to the basics. It doesn’t matter if it’s your golf swing, a diet or life. Review the basic principles of what you are trying to achieve. Chances are you didn’t develop an esoteric tendency that nullifies ALL your past efforts, you just need to review some of the fundamentals. The good news is you don’t need to start from the beginning.  Just do a quick review, discover where you went astray, and get back on track.

·            

o    2. To prevent from going too far off course, monitor your progress on a weekly, monthly or quarterly basis. It can be a list, check-up sheet, journal or any tool of your choosing. The point is to have a barometer to measure your level of optimism.  When you review your emotions you can spot when your attitude is taking a nosedive and catch it before it becomes a serious problem.

3.  Create an internal emotional vibration that matches the positive things you want to manifest. You can’t attract happiness when you dwell on misery any more than you can make orange juice by squeezing an onion. Match your thoughts, speech, actions and emotions with your desired outcome, NOT YOUR FEARS.

In conclusion, remember we all make mistakes. No one is perfect, not even the self-help gurus. Also, I might add, nothing is gained by beating yourself up. For example my hamstring is healing, but it still hurts. I can complain about it for hours, but that doesn’t help. Not even a little. Instead I choose to look at this painful experience as a life lesson. Maybe I had to get a pain in the butt to learn how to not BE a pain in the butt.  Now how is that for a refreshing thought?

Nature makes you think positively

Here is a guest post by Emily King.

Everyday obligations and tasks occupy our minds so that we are practically disabled to think in any other way from the one that is prescribed by the established social norms.

When you are a pupil or a student, you are forced to go to school, to study and to attend some extracurricular activities. Many children even have to go to different trainings and other activities that are not in a direct relation to school. When you grow up, you are asked or forced to look for a job and become an independent person.

While this might be the proper way of functioning for the society we live in, it leaves big scars on our souls. People's natural state is not spending days and nights in front of the computer. It is neither wasting half of your time off work on commuting, nor throwing away your natural potentials on the process of becoming a slave for someone else, who earns money on putting you in (both metaphorically and literally) chains.

As those children mentioned in the previous paragraph, we are forced to do things as some ruling head or a trust of brains have imagined. By our obedience to those deeply structured rules, we become cogs in the money-making mechanism that takes away your energy and vitality so that its members or rulers could do what every person should do in the first place – find peace and take care of his or her own persona.

We can often see TV programs in which famous actors, music stars or wealthy businesspeople show us around their manors in the country or at the sea. The program's hosts and those larger-than-ordinary-life figures together create an imitation of life for many hard-working regular people. Us, the prudent pillars of their society, are meant to watch that and heap praise on their success. Sometimes we even get angry with ourselves and our lack of knowledge and courage to do the same as they did to enjoy the lavishness of life. We fill our minds and bodies with negative energy while the solution is so close within our reach.

We are here, on this beautiful planet thanks to our parents and we should appreciate our lives more than we do. Every day can be a new and different experience, embellished with beautiful sensations of nature around us and the world inside us. Going to work, sweating in the underground train, devouring fast food to get back to work and toil for those boasting characters from those TV programs cannot be your only function in this world. Stop for a moment and listen to the wind, to the rustling of the leaves. Take a look at birds flying above you or at clouds hurrying to the horizon. All those pictures around us are here thanks to the balance of nature. Humans should grow their food in their gardens. We buy artificially grown food, together with fruit treated with pesticides and frozen vegetables.

By agreeing on being a part of the rat race for the three-meal day and a ten-day holiday, we disqualify all the potentials nature has for us. It is the strongest force in this world and it sends us numerous messages to make our lives easier and happier. Listening to its frequencies and guidelines can change your view of the world.

Just like in the movie Into the Wild, where the protagonist decides to go away from the city rush and the bright future planned by his parents, adorned with college diplomas and material possession, we can turn to the other side. Observing and listening to nature and its mind-easing messages, spending time in woods, in parks or at lakes will help us come closer to what our species used to be. Turning to nature and its laws can be a real refuge for all those people struck by poverty and injustice. Mother nature is waiting for us. Heed its call and you will do something most useful for your mental and physical health.

About: Lily is a mother of two wonderful girls, and she needed something to break her out of her bad habits. Going out to nature was just like a gift from God. Visit
http://www.savingmoneyexpert.com.au/

For information about my website check out www.EraseNegativity.com.

Living in the Moment: 4 Ways to be More Mindful Everyday

This week's words of wisdom come in the form of a guest post by Nettie Gray. I hope you enjoy it.






Have you ever felt so worried about the future that you no longer find happiness in today?

You’re too bent trying to solve issues that are yet to arise.

There’s nothing wrong being considerate about what lies ahead, but to let ourselves be consumed by things that are yet to happen is harmful. It only makes the future more terrifying.

Practicing mindfulness means paying attention to the present moment. Doing this helps alleviate stress, promote happiness and positivity.

Let us talk about few ways how you can be more mindful each day.

Focus on routinary activities.
Has typical daily activities such as taking a shower, brushing your teeth or washing dishes ever appeared interesting to you?

If you strive to be more mindful, then these things can turn out enjoyable too.

Brush your teeth in front of the mirror and observe the stroke of the brush every time you push your arms up and down, then sideways. Listen to the sound of the brush against your teeth.

When taking a shower, meanwhile, feel the first drops of water falling on your skin. Listen as well to its sound. Indulge in the sweet smell of your shampoo and soap. Play with soap suds forming on your skin while you’re gently scrubbing.

Observe the plates and glasses you’re washing and take delight seeing it looking like new again. Enjoy the clean scent afterward.

Be mindful when waiting.
You arrive at a fastfood chain and notice the long queue.

In the fast-paced world we’re living in, waiting is somewhat a luxury. Being stuck in one place for a long period can easily annoy or piss off a person. But truth is, it depends how you look into the situation. You have a choice whether to let it get on your nerves, or use the opportunity instead to bring peace into your mind.

Will you tap your foot on the floor, look into your watch every time, cross your arms and frown to everyone whose eyes meet yours? Or will you be mindful of your reaction when the line moves forward or when you check your phone or talk to the stranger next to you?

Learn to accept.
Stop being a worrier. If you will focus your mind to the present then the future is likely to turn out good for you. Our actions work in a domino effect.

Think about what’s making you worry.

Is it because your salary today isn't enough to raise your own family in the future? Don’t you think by the time you settle down, then your career experience must have improved a lot, and hence your income might have already increased as well?

Accept the situation you’re in right now. Many others are probably enduring a tougher circumstance. Yours cannot be the worst.

Be extra considerate and patient when commuting.
You’ve hit the rush hour yet again.

There you are, standing in a bus exhausted from work, jealous of those comfortably sitting, reading a book or taking a nap, trying hard not to feel annoyed by those talking too loud or getting off the bus hitting your shoulders or stepping on your feet.

And you say to yourself, “Thought I could start to write my papers within an hour, and turn it in earlier.”

Like being stuck in a long queue, commuting also tests your patience. Resist the urge to unleash rage or scream out loud. Be mindful of your reactions. Think of the possible consequences first before doing anything.


Author Bio:
Nettie Gray finds dishwashing relaxing. After working on the household chore, she feels as though her mind had been as well cleared.